Poor Man’s Time Machine III: The Cleanup

Illuminati Ganga Agent 86
luminasticity
Published in
4 min readSep 10, 2022

I have never felt so grateful for those idiots who run Illuminati Ganga’s Twitter feed — basically while the log here in the epicenter of the temporal cascade is pretty much toast, there are a number of tweets that were not destroyed in the cascade, probably because proximity of servers was not great enough for the data to be effected. Also should be thankful that we’re not in the Malekvian timeline where Twitter and Medium were merged into Twedium Corp, as things might have gone differently.

I mean you also gotta think, these idiots took an important timelog and tweeted it on a bunch of #writersLift tags because — I don’t know — idiots do what they do and in this rare case the outcome was beneficial. Thanks Idiots, I don’t know if I should shoot you to keep you from screwing up reality some time with your well-intentioned stupidity or hug you.

At any rate I have retrieved all the tweets I believe they made of the log, here they are in what I think is probably document order, based on reading them

Ok first off, that sounds like me, I hate serial killers and mass murders and dictators and creeps and people who do prank tv shows and I might have been tempted to correct a situation by my better nature without considering the ramifications.

Second off, since that is the visual residue of the reality collapse left behind by the cascade it seems very unlikely that was the actual graphic lead in for the log. I would have expected something more like me looking suitably heroic, knocking a robed KKK member on his ass in the 1920s with a socket wrench or riding a Dinosaur. Or maybe just a picture of my baby

I mean, sure she’s not much to look at but she is a fully working chronocraft with minimal shielding against temporal disturbances. She gets the job done, without her there would no knocking of KKK members on their asses in the 1920s or riding of Dinosaurs or even heading back to the 1980s to get 7–11 Nachos before the bean counters at the corporate headquarters ruined them and made it so you couldn’t pile the chips 4 layers deep, covered in a sea of melted cheese with at least two jalapenos per chip. I’ve been all over history, and damn if that wasn’t a golden age right there.

But ok, enough digression, on to the rest of the tweets. God I hate that word.

Ok as much as it pains me to admit it, whoever I killed probably wasn’t Gibby Haynes

who once borrowed 20 bucks from me and never paid it back. Do you know how many 7–11 Nachos one could have bought in the 1980s for twenty bucks, well I can’t remember but pretty sure that was a week’s worth of lunches.

I guess I was pretty worked up, trying to save reality, all on my own as usual. No compensation, people just don’t appreciate what I do for them. Some times I just want to go ride on my Dinosaur into the Mesozoic sunset down in the Yucatán Peninsula.

Indeed.

That is just so like me, willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to save humanity which doesn’t even give a rat’s ass to help me clean up this mess.

I should really set up a patreon or a kickstarter to get a statue made of me, but I do have a lot of stuff to do. Maybe someone who isn’t doing important temporal and reality shifting experiments could take the time to do it for me?

This is so exciting! That kriske in the Temporal Narratologic Stream is a glimpse into the reality collapse starting — it literally wiped out part of the logs text right then as the tweet was being made — the part that starts with ‘means that the major phenomena’ in the previous tweet and continues on to the end of the tweet. That is all gone, obliterated! The data this represents may allow us to decrypt the information stored in visual residue of the reality collapse.

Well can’t argue with that.

Alright, so I’m just going to stop this log here, because I have important things to get on with — like seeing if I can salvage any more of the text! As always if you remember any thing vaguely of the log at Poor Man’s Time Machine please let me know as it will help in my restoration efforts.

This update on the current time travel log snafu and recent Thomkorlian cascade was posted by IG Agent 99.

--

--