Mahwaari — that ‘time’ of month

#2 of Tales of Mokakshi. Short stories of love, belief and simplicity from a quaint Indian Village.

‘She was a MBA from a top-notch B school and owner of a decently successful start-up. The seclusion was getting on her nerves. Deep inside, a storm of frustration was building.’

Read Preface and Story Outline

Read #1, Jagar — calling of ‘gods’

Untouchability at ‘home’

“We are doomed. My periods have actually started.” — Neha said nervously coming out of the washroom.

“Relax.” — Kabir said. “Why don’t you talk to Tai ji once?”

“You won’t be alone. We will fight this together.” — He murmured not loud enough for Neha to hear.

Neha went to see Tai ji.

Kabir went back in time; travelling his lane of nostalgia. It was their routine annual visit to Mokakshi during Holi when he was told he can’t sleep with his mom. He was just six.

“Why? Why can’t I sleep with her? I always sleep with her.” — he cried vehemently.

“She is not well.” — Chacha ji said.

“She sleeps with me when I am not well. I want to sleep with her.” — he insisted.

Kabir was so stubborn that they had to give up and take him to her. All he remembered was that the room was not good; it had a thin carpet laid on the ground where his mother was sitting. A water jug and an oil lamp were the only available company. Tai ji came to drop him but didn’t enter the room. Next morning, he woke up finding himself away from her. It was probably a trick to first make him fall asleep and then move him out.

His mind continued wandering; fast enough to take him to different events down his memory lane.

He was probably ten, about Ishaan’s age, when his mother was quarantined again; this time as well in their village, Mokakshi.

“Don’t go near your mom. You are a big boy and you should know now.” — Chacha ji instructed.

“No, I don’t know Chacha ji.” — he said innocently.

“She is not feeling well, a bit impure and we all must not touch her for next four days.” — Chacha ji clarified which obviously made no sense to him. They never did this back home in Lucknow.

Every time he went near her, he was purified with a few sprinkles of gou-mutra, the legendary cow’s urine.

He thought, why can’t they sprinkle all of gou-mutra on his mother and make her pure instead.

She felt lonely and he knew it. He was puzzled as to why she would not fight back. Why would others not fight back? It seemed like a jail. More voluntary than forced.

“I spoke to Tai ji.” — Kabir heard Neha breaking his chain of thoughts.

“What did she say?” — he asked curiously.

“She said, don’t let anyone know about it. Avoid going to the prayer room or the kitchen. She also offered to use her private toilet so that I don’t accidently leave the blood marks elsewhere. She warned me to be super cautious and not tell anyone in the village know about it.” — Neha said.

“That sounds simple.” — he said with a sigh of relief.

They slept over it unaware of uncontrollable events waiting to happen on the other side of the night.

Fear of ‘unknown’

It was six in the morning when Ruchi bhabhi knocked on their door to offer them tea.

“Neha” — she called, “I need your help in the kitchen. Chacha ji wishes to take you all to the Kot Bhramri temple for offering prayers to the goddess for Tai ji’s better health.”

This was a double whammy. By virtue of periods, not only should the impure Neha remain away from the kitchen, she must not visit any temple either.

Unexpectedly the ask was for both.

“Sure bhabhi.” — Neha said, unsure of what to do next. This was one of the rare moments when their self-sufficient bhabhi asked to help in kitchen.

“Did she sense already?” — Neha whispered after she left. “Is she trying to test me?”

“Not a chance.” — Kabir refuted. “If she knew she would have instructed you exactly what to do. For her, purity of home and fear of gods is far more dominating than the idea of testing you.”

“What should I do?” — Neha asked.

“Let’s stick to the plan and go with the flow.” — he replied.

Neha, a bit hesitant due to the fear of unknown, entered the kitchen. She made chapatis, the traditional Indian bread, for the kids and tea for the adults.

Ruchi bhabhi on the other hand packed the list of items needed for the prayer.

They trekked their way to the motorable road and then took their car to the temple. Chacha ji grabbed the front seat next to the driver and asked Ishaan to sit on his lap. Neha and Kabir settled in the back seat. The temple was on the top of a mountain, completely accessible via road. Kabir remembered his childhood days when they had to trek eight kilometers to reach this temple. The view from the top was mesmerizing giving a one twenty degree glimpse of the snowcapped mountains of the greater Himalayan range.

They offered prayers seeking better health for Tai ji and completed the rituals. Neha was alongside throughout; their secret was known only to them and of course to the goddess.

“Is it your first time here?” — the priest who helped with the rituals asked them.

“Not really, we have been here several times before. It is his first time though.” — Kabir replied pointing at Ishaan.

“May the great goddess bestow you with good health, wealth and happiness.” — he continued.

“Do you know who this goddess is?” — the priest asked Ishaan.

“Bhramri Devi.” — he continued, without waiting for Ishaan to answer, “She hails from pauranic times and has her mentions in the eleventh chapter of Durga Shaptashati Path, a sacred book of Hindus similar to Bhagvad Gita or Ramayana. She is the only goddess in the entire universe whose backside is worshipped. As per the legends, the face of Goddess should not be shown to anyone except the priest of the temple and if this advice is not followed the entire region will face ill luck and massive disaster.”

“She seems to be very powerful. We should be extremely careful then.” — Ishaan said with mixed emotions of belief and disbelief at the same time.

Honestly, this did ignite some deep-rooted fears in Kabir. He prayed apologetically asking Devi ma to show them the right path if she thinks they are doing something wrong. Though the devil’s advocate inside nudged him there’s no power good or bad in the universe who could make Gods impure.

Kabir and Neha were abysmally quiet on their way back, listening to interesting discussion going between Ishaan and Chacha ji.

“Welcome back.” — Ruchi bhabhi greeted us with a smile and instructed them to touch the feet of all elderly around.

As an age-old tradition, the younger ones are expected to take blessings from elders after visiting a temple. In the current context, Neha might possibly be spreading impurities to several people who believed that a menstruating woman is impure and should not touch them.

“This doesn’t seem right. I feel guilty. It’s like betraying them. They are all good people who love us and trust us. Even though we don’t believe in it we should respect their belief system.” — she said in an apologetic tone.

Kabir nodded in affirmation.

“Here’s the plan.” — he said. “You wake up tomorrow morning, telling Ruchi bhabhi that you think are about of have your periods. Tell her confidently that we believe this is a natural phenomenon and with modern sanitary pads there’s nothing impure about it. Do tell her that we respect her beliefs and don’t intend to challenge that either. Ask her if it is fine to move out for next four days; may be to Kausani.”

“For God’s sake, do not mention anything about today.” — he requested.

Honestly, he was worried as to how the events will unfold in the next few days. What if someone gets to know?

Sin of ‘Indra’

“Bhabhi” — Neha whispered. “My periods have started.”

“Follow me.” — Ruchi bhabhi said as she started walking. “Ensure you don’t touch anything on the way.”

Neha followed the instructions and entered the special room in the outhouse reserved for this purpose.

The room was in a much better condition unlike olden days. It had everything that Neha would need including an attached bathroom.

“Enjoy your three days, let me know if you need anything. I will get you here.” — Ruchi bhabhi said, hinting, subtly, that she shouldn’t step out of the room for next three days.

“Bhabhi, I am sorry for all the trouble. I was expecting it a week later.” — Neha said in an apologetic tone.

“I can understand. I am a woman too.” — Ruchi bhabhi replied. “This is the price we pay for being pious.”

“Pious?” — Neha asked, a tone bit surprised.

“As per the Puranas, women accepted the menstruation cycle to make Lord Indra free of his sin.” — she continued.

“Really?” — Neha looked astounded. “Is this really written in Puranas?”

“Shrimad Bhagvad, skandha 6, chapter 9 to be precise.” — Ruchi bhabhi replied with a sense of pride. She was better than her modern sister-in-law when it came to to knowing the Hindu scriptures.

“ब्रह्महत्यामज्त्रलिना जग्राह यदपीश्वर |
संवत्सरान्ते तदघं भूतानां स विशुद्धते |
भूम्यम्बुद्रुमयोषिद्भ्यच्श्रतुर्धा वयभजद्भरि: ||६||”

– she recited a Sanskrit shloka.

“Lord Indra was very powerful, yet he couldn’t overcome the sin of killing a brahmin. He repented for years praying to Lord Vishnu who advised him to distribute his sin amongst the pious creations of God namely tree, water, earth and women.” — she explained.

“Is killing a brahmin that big a sin that even gods can’t get away?” — Neha asked.

“Yes, didn’t you know even Lord Rama went to himalayas to repent his sin for killing Raavan. Raavan had numerous bad qualities but after all he was a brahmin and an ardent devotee of Lord Shiva.” — Ruchi bhabhi replied.

“So, what’s the story of Lord Indra’s sin?” — Neha enquired.

Bhabhi started narrating the story.

During the Vedic age there was a constant tussle between the Gods and demons. Lord Indra won most of these battles under the guidance of Guru Brihaspati. Once due to the growing arrogance of Indra, Guru Brihaspati left him in anger. Demons used this as an opportunity to attack devlok, the kingdom of Gods. They were so powerful that Indra had to run away from his kingdom.

He summoned Lord Brahma. Brahma told him to serve a sage and if the sage is satisfied, he will get his kingdom back.

Indra started serving a sage and soon realized that the sage was a son of a demon mother and he was offering the sacrifice in havan to the demons instead of the Gods. This in turn was making demons more powerful.

Indra got so angry that he killed the sage.

The sin of brahmin murder started haunting him and followed him wherever he went. To escape he hid in a flower for many years and prayed to Lord Vishnu.

Vishnu accepted his prayers and informed him that killing a brahman is an irrevocable sin. To minimize its impact he needs to distribute sin amongst the pious creations namely earth, water, trees and women.

“In our religion, women are considered pious; way more pious than men.” — bhabhi continued, with a great sense of pride.

“I still don’t get it.” — Neha said. It was evident that the story was not making any sense to her.

“I am not done yet.” — Ruchi bhabhi commanded.

“One fourth of the sin was given to trees and in return Indra gave them a boon that they can regrow or regain their life whenever they want.”

“Second part was given to water who got the power of purifying anything in the universe.”

“Is that the reason water is considered pure and used in all rituals?” — Neha asked just to show that she was listening eagerly.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“The third part was given to earth and was blessed with the power to heal itself.”

“And the fourth part was given to women in the form of menstrual cycles.”

“What did we get in return?” — Neha asked.

“We got the blessing to enjoy perpetual happiness from the sexual activities, much more than the men do.” — bhabhi whispered, too shy to say it aloud.

“You said, we got the menstrual cycle as a part of sin. Just curious, what did trees, water and earth had to give away?” — Neha inquired.

“I don’t know about that. I haven’t read the book myself. My mother narrated this story when I came off age.” — bhabhi clarified.

“You also mentioned, Rama went to penance for committing a similar sin.” — Neha asked.

“Yes.”

“To whom was his sin distributed to?” — Neha clarified. Generally, Neha wouldn’t confront elders but she is a different person during her periods.

“I said I don’t know. Why don’t you go read it yourself?” — Ruchi bhabhi got agitated noticing that her belief was being challenged.

“I should go now. I have a lot of work to do. Do let me know if you need anything from me.” — bhabhi said as she walked out of the room.

“Ridiculous.” — Neha thought.

She was a MBA from a top-notch B school and owner of a decently successful start-up. The seclusion was getting on her nerves. Deep inside, a storm of frustration was building.

Blood of ‘life’

“May I come in ma’am?” — Kabir knocked the door, attempting light humor as he entered Neha’s room.

“You may.” — Neha replied with a fake smile. She seemed to be in a bit of pain. “If they allow you to.”

“Who can stop me from meeting you? After all there’s go mutra to purify me.” — he gave a wicked smile.

“I am fed up of this nonsense.” — Neha looked disappointed. “We tend to find illogical reasons for everything that we don’t understand.”

“Today I got to know that the reason for menstrual cycles is like repenting for Indra’s sin for killing a brahman.” — Neha continued. She looked irritated. “This is just so ridiculous.”

He smiled and kept quiet. He wanted Neha to vent out her emotions. Periods were a recurring struggle for Neha; significantly disruptive. She experienced mood swings, occasional fatigue, bloating and breast tenderness which made her a different person.

“I don’t like women accepting every injustice that comes on their way. Its high time each one of us fights it back. Who the hell are they to seclude us?” — Neha screamed, she sounded angry.

“Fault is ours because we have kept silent for so long. It is sad that young and innocent girls are subjected to period shaming even in the twenty first century. I read an article where a school girl committed suicide since she was harassed publicly for coming to school during her menstrual cycle. It can’t get worse than this.” — Neha vented.

“I want to shout loud, we are not impure, your thoughts are.”

“It is ridiculous that rapists, terrorists, perverts, corrupts are all allowed in a temple while women on their periods aren’t.”

“Can you believe that women in child bearing age aren’t allowed to enter some temples like Sabarimala? Can it get more outrageous than this?” — Neha continued to rant.

“Why do you think these rules were made in the first place?” — Kabir asked humbly.

“Because men are dogs and they want to dominate; For them it is like my way or high way.” — Neha replied.

“I agree, some are; some are wise too.” — Kabir replied with a wink.

“Come to the point.” — Neha exclaimed.

“I would group people into three categories. Satvik, the wise men, who think about the welfare of the society and make appropriate rules suited to bring prosperity and harmony. Rajsik, who tweak the rules for their advantage to gain supremacy over others. Tamsik, who misinterpret these rules simply because they fail to comprehend the context; they are blindly guided by what they are made to believe by people they follow. Unfortunately, our more than five thousand year old culture continues to see all of them.”

“We have seen more of your second and third types.” — Neha interjected.

“True, since its not easy to be wise. On the contrary, it is actually very difficult.” — he smiled.

“Let’s take ourselves, five thousand years back.” — he continued. “Life for women is still not easy in villages. Right? Think of life then.”

“What’s your point?” — Neha asked.

“I think, the wise men acknowledged the pain a woman had to go through during her menstruation. They knew the body becomes weaker, prone to infections and needs adequate amount of rest. That is why it was advised for women to excuse themselves from daily chores and take rest in the room. Can you imagine Ruchi bhabhi completing her hectic schedule during her periods?” — he continued.

“I agree we need rest but let us decide that. For God’s sake don’t make it an excuse for temporary untouchability.” — she countered.

“I agree. In my opinion, the advice given by the Satviks has been twisted by the Rajsiks and misconstrued by the Tamsiks. People have developed an incorrect and unscientific belief system which is hard to break. Some of them really believe that their Gods will get impure and if they don’t prevent it, they would have to face the curse.” — he continued, “Tamsiks as we know evolve at a slower pace; men and women alike.”

“Most people are troubled when their belief system is challenged but eventually settle for it. For example, we have seen so many reforms like abolishment of evil traditions like Sati, child marriage, polygamy and enabling new practices like widow remarriages. I am sure, some people would have opposed them and are still opposing but the number is trending down.” — Kabir said.

“But why only in our religion? I don’t know of other religions who do the same?” — Neha asked.

“It is easy to criticize our culture due to ignorance. Let’s google it to see if what you said is true?” — he said triggering a google search on his smart phone.

“Check this article from Medium, almost all old religions have had this practice in some form or the other in past. Judaism defined menstruating women as Niddah and claimed she must be purified at the end in a mikveh, a ritual bath. Christianity too had a history of menstrual taboos and that possibly has been the main reason to keep women away from positions of authority. Islam too considers menstruation impure. Some women during her periods were prohibited from fasting, reading the Quran or entering the mosque. They were expected to undergo Ghusl, a full body purification at the end of their periods.” — he summarized the article for her.

“Are you trying to justify?” — Neha looked disappointed.

“No, I am not. By the way, Buddhism and Sikhism consider periods as normal. There aren’t any restrictions.” — he continued.

“Lucky them.” — Neha exclaimed.

“Look at this article, menstrual leave is slowly being included in corporate laws and legislation. Lots of countries like Japan, Indonesia, Korea, Zambia etc. and multinational companies like Nike acknowledge the need for it and support women to take leave during their tough menstrual time. This is similar to what we did five thousand years back. I agree, over time, it turned into something as monstrous as ‘untouchability’.”

“Menstrual leave makes sense. This kind of seclusion doesn’t. I don’t think this is a fair comparison.” — Neha claimed.

“Yeah, right, seclusion isn’t required in modern times with aids like sanitary napkins, tampons or moon cups and that’s the reason the mindset is changing. The change is much slower than expected though.” — he replied. “Think of older days. Without these aids, what was easier? Moving around and leaving stain marks all over or resting in a room specially designed for this purpose and wearing a single cloth?” — he asked. “I, by no means support seclusion, but the original intention should be interpreted holistically.”

“Yeah, I understand that, but why spread myths like Indra’s sin?” — Neha asked.

“Stories have a great recall value. It is an easy way to help people understand things.” — he said. “May be this story was made to contain fear and anxiety amongst people when they saw so much blood pumping out of the body. Not many people used to be educated then and neither were there many means to share information. Further, blood was generally considered a sign of death and could have ensued panic.”

“May be, it was an easy way to tell people that its perfectly normal, its recurring and temporary and that there’s not reason to fear it.”

“Periods are depressing. May be, the story was built around it to give women a sense of pride that the pain you are taking is because you are pious and stronger than men. Since we can’t stop periods, we need to find a way to accept them with a positive state of mind. In my opinion, this is exactly what Ruchi bhabhi’s mother intended when she started menstruating.”

“That’s your interpretation, but a good one.” — Neha smiled. She looked calmer.

“Every such thing should have an expiry date and this one is well past it’s. In my opinion we should rather respect and worship it. After all it is the blood of life.” — he said.

“Blood of life, very true. I wish everyone thought like you. It indeed is the blood that is responsible for fostering new life and get the generations going.” — Neha replied with a smile on her face.

“I really like the way they do a half sari function in south India when the girl comes off-age. She is made to feel special. What a wonderful way of introducing a girl to this new world.” — She continued.

She was happy to have him as her husband. Like always, he not only stood for her, he also helped her calm down by extracting positivity from an environment that had potential to get extremely negative.

“Lohumi ji, what are you doing in the software business? You could be a very successful spiritual guru. These days spiritual gurus earn way more than what a product manager could even think of.” — Neha tried to tease him.

“And they often land up in prison as well. I hope that’s not what you are conspiring.” — he winked, and they laughed their hearts out.

“I think I have annoyed Ruchi Bhabhi. I am not sure if she will talk to me anymore.” — Neha said, with a bit of worry on her face.

“Here’s tea for you.” — Ruchi bhabhi said as she entered the secluded room.

“Thank you bhabhi and really sorry for day before yesterday.” — Neha apologized.

“That’s ok! It happens with me too.” — Bhabhi said. She looked happy as if she got what she was waiting for. “By the way, I found answers to your questions.”

“Really? I really want to know.” — Neha jumped with excitement. A fake one though to make up for the conflict that happened a couple of days back.

“Yeah, earth got deserts, water got pollution and I forgot what trees got.” — Bhabhi replied with sheer innocence.

“No worries and thank you bhabhi, you gave me a different perspective of looking at periods.” — Neha smiled. She knew, she just had one more night to go.

Ruchi bhabhi smiled, she still seemed a bit uncomfortable because of the unexpected confrontation that happened a day before.

“How is Tai ji?” — Neha asked.

“She is recovering well. Didn’t I tell you she will.” — Bhabhi replied with a stronger conviction.

“Good to know bhabhi.” — Neha said. “I really like the way you take care of her and in fact everyone else. You really inspire me.”

Ruchi bhabhi hugged her in an emotional outburst.

“Oh God! I will have to take a bath and wash all my clothes now. How can I be so careless?” — She murmured as she left the room.

More coming soon…

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Publication: https://medium.com/pali-prints
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