Sci-Fi Short Story
Eviction
It’s Important to Hold on to Your Original Contracts
“There she is, my beautiful planet,” Bolon spoke softly with a deep longing.
It had been over five thousand years since he’d last seen it. With its ivory companion, this stunning blue world hung in the void like a jewel resting on black velvet. He could hardly wait to swim once more in her crystal-clear oceans and hunt exotic game in her lush green jungles. This place had long haunted Bolon’s dreams whenever his situation turned cruel and grey, or the battle went ill. In the known Galaxy, no other planet could compare to this paradise.
It was breathtaking.
His ship was closing in fast for orbit, and as it did so, more details resolved within Bolon’s vision. A swarm of metal insects seemed to girth the entire globe. This was new and ugly. Who had despoiled and sullied this once pristine world? A simple scan showed many of these objects were inert — the discarded rubbish of a primitive technical civilisation. Someone would pay for this sacrilege.
The ship continued its scan, revealing that Bolon was not alone in this planet’s orbit. A small, flimsy structure flying several hundred kilometres below contained seven humans. Another similar spaceship with three humans aboard was half an orbit ahead at a similar altitude.
Bolon was impressed. The savages here had treated him like a god during his last visit. Now, they attempted to emulate the gods — following them to the stars. The savages had put the gifts he and his comrades had bestowed upon them to good use. His ship continued in its orbit, moving into the shadow. Night revealed more surprises — lights of enormous cities dotted the landscape below, and his instruments revealed the fecundity of the humans, with billions of them living on the surface.
Bolon looked more closely at the surface of his cherished world as his ship emerged into the morning light. He realised that the sheer weight of humanity had taken its toll on the planet. Vast forests had been reduced to almost nothing, replaced with desiccated farmland. Lakes had become deserts.
In some ways, the tenants of this world were still savages.
At least the savages who worshipped me knew how to live harmoniously with nature all those years ago. Today, these humans seem only to know consumption and greed.
They had broken the agreement.
The voice boomed. It seemed to come from everywhere. Somehow, no matter what language was spoken individually, everyone could understand what the voice was saying.
This was our landlord — Bolon Yokte K’u, the god of war. We were being evicted for significant breaches of our lease.
We had one “Baktun” to vacate the planet voluntarily, or else force would be used.
The year was 3,114 BCE. It was in the jungles near a place now known as Tenochtitlán in Mexico.
A great war had ensued for a year. The king was praying for an intervention from the gods to help end the bloody conflict and cement his rule over the whole region. One evening, his prayers were answered. The high priest had sighted a strange star that had crossed the night sky, slowed, and landed in the jungle only a few kilometres from the city’s outskirts. The king’s scouts, sent to investigate, said a god was hunting in the jungle near the river.
The king and his bodyguards journeyed through the thick jungle towards the river early the next morning. They carried chests of gold and jade as a tribute to the gods. After forty-five minutes of hiking, the entourage arrived at the edge of a small clearing. A strange silver object stood in the middle on four black legs close to two metres off the ground. The silver thing was shaped like a papaya but was huge, close to twenty metres long and about five metres in diameter. Stairs descended from the belly. A tent, large enough to sleep six men, stood several metres off to the side of the giant silver papaya. A fire was smouldering. Across from the fire and opposite the tent was a table and chair. The smell of eggs and bacon mixed with a sweet, smokey aroma of burning tobacco clung to the campsite. There was no sign of the god.
The sound of splashing water drew the king’s attention to the river. There, he saw the god bathing. The warriors formed a wide semi-circle around the god’s pile of discarded clothes on the river bank. The king signalled for his guards to kneel in deference to the god while he slowly stepped to the water’s edge.
The king bowed and intoned, “Greetings, oh god, who comes from the stars.”
The god was waist-deep in the river. Startled by the voice, he hurriedly swivelled around. The left side of his face was covered in foam, and his right hand held a razor. A glowing cigar hung from the right side of his mouth. His face showed surprise, but there was no trace of fear. He quickly regarded the bowing king and the assembly of kneeling soldiers. He exhaled a sweet-smelling cloud of cigar smoke.
“Well, it’s very nice to make your acquaintance, king,” the god responded as he shaved the remainder of his face. “Please make yourself comfortable. There’s a seat at my table, and you are welcome to share my breakfast — I’m sure you must be hungry.”
The king and his party retreated to the table and let the god complete his morning ablutions in private.
The god, Bolon Yokte K’u, sat at the table with the king. They both smoked cigars. “So let me get this straight, king, you want me to help defeat your enemies and elevate your kingdom above all others,” Bolon confirmed as he blew a cloud of smoke into the air.
The king was rather enjoying this audience with the god. His belly was full after a heavenly breakfast of bacon and eggs. Contented, he leaned back in his chair and drew heavily on his cigar, nodding his agreement to Bolon’s question. He suspected that the god was about to agree to help, although he had shown no interest in the tribute the king had offered.
Bolon smiled at the king as a devious plan formed in his mind, “This is such a beautiful world, and you and your people are so friendly. But what am I to you and your people?”
The king’s face revealed his confusion, “My Lord?” Then he added, “You are a god. Your very feet use the stars to ascend to heaven. We worship your every step here. My people are your loyal subjects, and I am but your humble servant here on Earth.”
Bolon liked what he heard and smiled, “So, king, I see no problem I cannot solve for you here on Earth — me being a god and all. But to make this legal, er, um, I mean HOLY, I need to teach you some things.” Bolon saw he had a unique real estate opportunity that few imperial soldiers of his lowly rank ever got — a deal of a lifetime.
The king smiled back at Bolon, “Lord, whatever divine knowledge you choose to impart, we will hold it dear and sacred throughout eternity. As long as you deem us WORTHY.” Pure music to Bolon’s ears.
Bolon first taught the king and his priests how to write — for how can you have a valid contract without it being written down?
Next, Bolon found that these natives already had a basic understanding of mathematics but lacked a vital concept — ZERO — this was what they would be left with if they ever breached the contract.
Finally, these savages had no concept of a calendar. This is where Bolon’s brilliance outshone the brightest star in the universe. For a contract to be valid, it needed a term. These dates had to be acceptable to the Galactic authorities. Bolon solved this problem by giving these natives two interlinked calendars. One was based on the orbit of this planet — roughly three hundred and sixty-five diurnal rotations. This would be handy for farming.
The second “long cycle” calendar would relate to the standard Galactic calendar. Each Galactic month, or “Baktun”, was approximately three hundred and ninety-four Earth years. Bolon told the king that this second almanac was critical for making offerings to the gods and that the gods would protect his people as long as they showed their devotion to it.
Pure genius!
The minimum duration for a Galactic planetary tenancy agreement was thirteen baktuns. Perhaps this is where the human superstition about the number thirteen originated.
The contract was drafted, granting Bolon ownership and title to the planet Earth. In return, Bolon would eliminate the king’s enemies. The king’s heirs and successors would be allowed to live freely on the Earth, so long as they cared for it and didn’t allow the population to rise above one hundred million. Bolon had the right to evict the humans if they breached the agreement. The term was set to thirteen Galactic months — approximately five thousand one hundred and twenty-six Earth years and would renew automatically unless the humans violated the terms.
As a landlord, Bolon had the right to visit his planet at any time without notice, so long as he performed any godly duties as requested by the king during said visits. Bolon had a lot of friends in his battle unit, and he thought it would be a nice gesture to allow his army buddies to enjoy some R&R on his paradise planet. He wrote into the agreement that other gods would visit occasionally and help the king and his people. They just needed to worship these gods.
So, it came to pass.
The king signed the contract in blood and stamped his thumbprint to bind it. Bolon recorded the whole ceremony. Within the hour, the executed agreement and the video of the formalities were lodged with the local Galactic authorities. After a quick records search, the title was granted, and Bolon was the official owner of the blue planet and its ivory satellite.
Bolon made short work of the king’s enemies. The alien weaponry was deadly and instilled fear and awe in the god. His skill in dealing out death and destruction was so impressive, that the king anointed him as the god of war.
It certainly had a nice ring about it!
But like every vacation, Bolon’s time was running out. He soon had to report back at the front. The king and the whole city made their way to the clearing by the river. After several speeches, Bolon bade all a fond farewell and climbed up the stairs into his silver spaceship. A low hum emanated from the craft, and within a minute, it had risen from the clearing and became a distant speck in the blue sky.
Bolon had a tear in his eye as his beautiful Earth receded in his viewer. He had to pinch himself at the thought of his owning this paradise. He couldn’t wait to rejoin his comrades at the front. What a story he had for them!
Of course, no one believed him — until they saw it for themselves.
Part 2 of this story is here.
Copyright ©2023 by Andrew Dart. All Rights Reserved.
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