My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?
Embracing My Identity: A Gay Man’s Love Affair with Sports
Hey there, darlings! Let’s spill some tea about something you might not expect from a bear like me — a guy who loves his brunches, game nights, and a mimosa or two.
But here’s the twist: I’ve got a thing for sports.
And not just watching them from the sidelines, mind you. Even us bears can get sporty, and I’m living proof that you can love the game and embrace your identity without ever missing a beat — even if some people might clutch their pearls and question my gay card over it.
From Hoops to Huddles: My Early Love for Sports
Picture this: a young, spry version of me, always outside, shooting hoops in the driveway, tossing footballs in the park, and perfecting my tennis serve against the garage door. Sports were my jam, my sanctuary, and let’s be real — I was pretty darn good at them. I mean, what’s not to love about a little competition and the thrill of a good game? My love for sports started when I was just a cub, and let me tell you, I was showing up my older brother in no time.
Funnily enough, he was better at volleyball, and I ended up being the one who turned out gay. Go figure.
But as I got older and started realizing I wasn’t quite like the other boys, things got a little complicated. High school wasn’t just about being good at sports anymore; it was about fitting in, keeping up appearances, and trying not to stick out like a sore thumb. The locker rooms became a minefield, with jokes and casual homophobia lurking around every corner. So, I did what many of us did — I kept my head down, focused on the game, and buried the rest deep inside.
I was good at sports, so no one ever questioned my sexuality. I also had a few of the popular girls chasing after me, but I’m proud to say I never entered a relationship to cover up who I was.
The Game-Changer: Coming Out and Rediscovering Sports
Fast forward to years later, when I finally came out and joined a gay rugby team. Darling, let me tell you, it was a revelation. Suddenly, sports weren’t just a way to fit in — they were a way to celebrate who I was, unapologetically. Playing rugby with a team that accepted me for me? It was nothing short of liberating. It was like rediscovering the game all over again, only this time, I didn’t have to hide.
And speaking of rediscoveries, let’s not forget about that time at a GLTA tennis tournament where I did more than just serve up some wins. I ended up meeting a charming partner who could give Joe Kovacs a run for his money. Not only did I do well in the tournament, but we also had a great time off the court — a time that lasted for two joyful years before we amicably parted ways. Who knew tennis could serve up so much more than just a game?
From there, I started reconnecting with all the sports I’d left behind. Basketball, tennis, football — they all became fun again, but this time without the weight of pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Now, I’m all about inclusive sports leagues and international tournaments where it’s about the love of the game and the joy of playing.
The Community and Sports: A Match Made in Heaven
Now, let’s talk about being a gay and loving sports. Some folks might think it’s an odd mix, but let me tell you, the gay community and my bear community in particular knows how to have a good time on and off the field. We’re all about inclusivity, body positivity, and, most importantly, having a blast. Whether we’re out there on the field or cheering from the sidelines in our best sports gear, we’re all in it together, darling. If it’s a pick-up game of basketball or a full-blown gay rugby tournament, we bring our A-game — and we do it with style.
And speaking of rugby, let’s take a little detour to that weekend after a Bingham Cup when I ended up having quite the educational experience with a hot rugby couple from the UK. Let’s just say I learned a whole new meaning to “body positivity” and “team spirit” that weekend. A weekend of self-discovery that was equal parts thrilling and enlightening — who says sports can’t be a learning experience, right?
Challenging stereotypes? Oh, I’m a pro at that. There’s this idea that gays aren’t into sports, but let me tell you, we’re a diverse bunch. Some of us love lifting weights, running marathons, or playing football, while others just enjoy a casual game with friends. I’ve lost track of how many bears have confessed they were the star players on their high school football teams over the years. Embracing my bear identity has only made sports more fun because now I’m playing as my fully authentic self.
The Joy of Being a Gay Athlete
One of the best things about being a gay athlete is the sense of community it builds. Sports have helped me connect with other gay men, both on and off the field. There’s a mutual respect, a shared understanding, and let’s be real — a whole lot of fun. Whether it’s playing in bear-friendly leagues or just hanging out for a casual game, the camaraderie is something special.
Staying active in sports isn’t just about the physical benefits, either. It’s about mental health, too. Sports help me stay balanced, relieve stress, and keep my mind sharp. Plus, it’s just plain fun! But more than anything, sports have helped me grow. They’ve taught me about teamwork, resilience, and the importance of staying true to myself. I’m a better athlete and a better person because I’ve learned to embrace who I am, both on and off the field.
Conclusion
So here’s to smashing stereotypes, embracing who we are, and loving the sports that make us feel alive. Whether you’re on the court, the field, or cheering from the sidelines, remember this: there’s no one way to be a gay. We’re all different, and that’s what makes our community so incredible.
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong in sports because of your identity, I’m here to tell you that you absolutely do. Find your game, find your people, and most importantly, find your joy. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about fitting into someone else’s mold; it’s about celebrating what makes you, you — on and off the field.
Now, who’s up for a game?
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, “My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?”
