Fired for NOT Providing Conversion Therapy
The day I spoke out against conversion therapy
A firing-squad, comprised of the three most influential conversion therapy organizations in America, took aim at my heart. The execution came very swiftly after my fateful presentation at the 2008 National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) conference. Here is my story.
The Background to a Firing Squad Execution
For my story to make sense, allow me to provide information about my rise within the evangelical counseling community. You may want to read a previous Prism & Pen article that describes how I lived the most unusual gay Christian life ever.
The tragedy, of course, is that evangelicals (a community to which I belonged for 40+ years) seem stuck in wanting to view us gay Brothers as “lesser than.”
What follows is an uber-quick, drive-by history of my involvement with three conversion therapy promoters.
First. I was the closeted vice president of Focus on the Family (a.k.a., Focus) for nine years (1995–2004). This era was the apex of Focus’ socio-political power as a defender of “family values” and an attacker of “gay rights.” After I came out as gay to the president of Focus, he and I mutually agreed it would be best for me to resign. Focus’ president and I then became excited about the possibility of me providing professional counseling to Christian men who “struggle with homosexuality.” Accordingly, Focus was kind enough to refer their homosexual clients to me for phone coaching.
Second. Early in my newfound counseling career (2005), I became the “Director of Professional Counselors” for Exodus International (i.e., the largest organization in the world for ex-gay ministries). My role as director was to ensure every professional counselor was licensed and Christian. I allowed complete autonomy of how each counselor conducted their trade. To my knowledge, I may have been the only Exodus counselor who did not provide conversion therapy. You may want to read my previous Prism & Pen article Pray Away: How I survived the Ex-Gay Movement.
My phone coaching instead focused on helping homosexual men:
- Determine life goals as gay Christians
- Reduce any sabotaging behaviors
- Obliterate all shame regarding the ongoing existence of his pervasive same-sex attraction.
I purposefully did not provide conversion therapy. The reason? I knew my own same-sex attraction had never been extinguished despite two years of sincere conversion-therapy attempts. For more details, I refer you to my Prism & Pen story, I’m a Gay Christian Who Tried Conversion Therapy.
Furthermore, early on in my counseling career, I discovered that no man has ever extinguished his existing same-sex attraction. The attraction is enduring and a vital part of a man’s identity. I was not going to provide a form of counseling I knew had no hope of success. Instead, I named my counseling method “Sanctification Coaching.”
Third. I was certified to receive client referrals from NARTH due to my roles at both Focus and Exodus International. My NARTH clients were always Christian men struggling with unwanted homosexuality. NARTH had an incestuous relationship with “Reparative Therapy,” in that the founder of both was Dr. Joseph Nicolosi. NARTH did not specifically require its certified counselors to conduct Reparative Therapy. Still, I assume that the vast majority did so (myself as an exception).
My phone coaching gained traction during my four years of conducting it. I am convinced many clients achieved the three goals of my counseling method — and without many years of therapy. Accordingly, I wrote a book describing the uniqueness of my coaching method.
In addition to my book, I was asked to contribute to a counseling handbook produced by NARTH (to which I provided one chapter on my Sanctification Coaching method). Soon enough, word got back to me that my chapter in particular was “getting a lot of buzz” from readers of the handbook. Praise regarding the success of my unusual coaching reached the organizers of the annual NARTH conference. They invited me to give a presentation on Sanctification Coaching.
Now I want to tell you what I said at that annual NARTH conference in the fall of 2008. My audience consisted of predominantly NARTH-certified professional counselors, plus a minority of males who were themselves struggling with homosexuality. Both types of attendees were eager to learn something innovative in assisting Christian homosexual men. What follows is a truncated version of how I remember my presentation.
Drumroll, please.
That Fateful NARTH Conference Presentation
“Gentlemen, thank you for wanting to learn about my specific, unique form of counseling for Christian men with homosexuality. In the first five minutes of this talk, I want to set the stage for why my coaching differs from Reparative Therapy. Once you are armed with that knowledge, I will then spend 25 minutes discussing how I conduct my coaching, and I will reserve the final 20 minutes for questions-and-answers.
“There are three primary differences between Reparative Therapy and my Sanctification Coaching. So, let’s begin.
“First, we do not truly know what causes homosexuality.”
The above statement produced an audible gasp among the NARTH professional counselors in the room! All were certain that homosexuality in the male is due to an insufficient emotional bonding between the homosexual boy and his father. Such belief in causation was presumed to be a “given” in the world of Focus on the Family, Exodus International, and NARTH.
Then, I made the following statement.
“Second, no one ever changes from being homosexual into being heterosexual.
“Such is a true statement. I have privately talked with thousands of homosexual Christian men (including, of course, my own clients). Not a single man has extinguished his same-sex attraction. However, to be fair-and-balanced, research indicates a minor percentage of clients in conversion therapy acquired a heteroerotic capability (where none previously existed). Often this new attraction only happens to one woman. Sometimes that woman is (or becomes) the homosexual man’s wife — in which case the two may enjoy vaginal intercourse.”
This time, the audience of NARTH professional counselors did not gasp when I made the above statements. Rather, they seethed.
I continued.
“Third, and finally, the typical client receiving Reparative Therapy undergoes weekly counseling from anywhere between two to seven years. A trained Reparative Therapist who is also a licensed psychiatrist receives top dollar in fees (i.e., in today’s economy, the fee would be approximately $400 per hour).
“Gentlemen, that is malpractice.”
Rage emitted from the faces of every NARTH-certified therapist in the room!
And that was just the first five minutes of my presentation.
Furious, the NARTH professional counselors stormed out of the room after I completed my Q&A. However, a small remnant remained: those attendees who were not professional counselors but instead were men “struggling with their homosexuality.” The homosexual men encircled me. They gaped at me as though I was some form of rock star. Then they asked,
“Is what you said true? We have never heard this from anyone — never.”
I reassured them that my statements were entirely true for the homosexual Christian men I have counseled (or to whom I had privately talked or mentored).
Thus ended my presentation on that infamous Saturday morning at the 2008 annual NARTH conference.
My Firing-Squad Execution
At promptly 8 a.m. on Monday I received my first of three successive phone calls. Each was a firing-squad with intent to kill.
The first phone call was the executive director of Exodus International. He said his phone had been ringing all weekend, from angry Exodus professional counselors who attended the NARTH conference. All of these Exodus counselors were mystified and enraged that I would make such outlandish claims — directly refuting what Exodus believes. The executive director then informed me that I would no longer be the director over their counselors. Furthermore, he removed me from being on the Exodus counselor referral list.
Round one of my firing-squad produced gunshot wounds directly to my heart.
Seemingly immediately after, a second phone call arrived. It was from the assistant director of counseling at Focus on the Family. He had personally been in attendance at the NARTH conference — hearing first-hand my “lies.” He reminded me that my beliefs and statements were contrary to Focus on the Family. He removed me from Focus’ list of referrals for clients.
Gunshots continued to explode in the center of my heart.
Finally, moments later, the third phone call came — from the vice president of NARTH. He was, understandably, upset that I would come to their “home” and speak so derogatorily about their well-established Reparative Therapy. In response, I apologized for what they perceived as “spitting in their soup” — but I stood by my beliefs and statements made at the conference. And, yep, the NARTH vice president likewise told me I would no longer be a referral for NARTH.
The third and final round of gunshot wounds from the firing-squad was now complete. I crumpled to the ground, metaphorically exuding gaping gunshot wounds to my vital organs.
Every referral source had executed me. Mortified. Killed.
Thus ended my professional counseling career.
I moved on to a new career back at my alma mater, the Air Force Academy. There, I led a national award-winning program for developing leaders of character. My publicity, however, incited a dark, misinformed national media smear campaign.
Apparently, someone who heard of my recent fame as a national character expert had also known of my roles with Focus on the Family, Exodus International, and NARTH. This unknown source devised a plan to discredit me. So, a coordinated media blitzkrieg (from Washington D.C. to Seattle, and major cities in-between) unleashed newspaper headlines to portray me as an “ex-gay, homophobe, conversion therapist.” I, of course, was innocent of all three labels. The smear campaign’s falsehoods were simply “guilt by association.” Oh well.
Thus, I have experienced two executions in my life. The first (by Focus, Exodus, and NARTH) was because I was “too gay; too anti-Christian.” My second execution (by the media smear campaign) was because I was “too anti-gay; too Christian.”
Today, I am overtly gay. And overtly Christian.
But I believe God indeed works all things together for the ultimate good. I have become completely at peace with being a universally out, gay Christian who affirms gay marriages. Today, I provide friendship and support to gay Brothers around America.
The tragedy, of course, is that evangelicals (a community to which I belonged for 40+ years) seem stuck in viewing us gay Brothers as “lesser than.” Many of my evangelical Brothers sincerely believe everything about homosexuality is a sin — the behavior, but also the attraction itself and even the sinfulness of calling oneself “gay.” No matter. I love them and hope one day every evangelical will provide kindness and full equality to us gay Brothers.
The triumph, of course, is this certainty: Jesus loves me exactly as I am. He is never going to leave me. And I am never going to leave Him.
GAYoda is a publication to uniquely and specifically support gay Christian men. Click here to learn more
Dr. Mike Rosebush is the founder and author of GAYoda. He has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, is a retired Licensed Professional Counselor, with 45+ years of mentoring thousands of gay Christian men. Read a short synopsis of his story here.
Read Dr. Rosebush’s complete set of articles here.
Dr. Rosebush provides friendship support to gay Christian men across the U.S. and can be contacted via Facebook or mikerosebush75@gmail.com.
