I’m a Demisexual Paradox
Despite being attracted to personalities, I believe nobody could ever find me attractive
I recently told somebody they’re beautiful, and they replied that I was lying. They’re self-conscious because they feel like they don’t fit into today’s beauty ideals.
I wasn’t lying. I’m demisexual, and I’m attracted to people’s personalities, regardless of what they look like on the outside (or even what gender they are). And yet…
I have the same response on the rare occasions somebody calls me beautiful. My brain absolutely cannot accept the idea that anybody could genuinely find me attractive. I automatically believe that anybody that gives me a compliment on my looks must be lying and probably wants something from me.
Does that mean I think I have an ugly personality? Do I think I’m somehow the only demisexual person on the planet? Do I believe my face or body are so repulsive that nobody could ever find me attractive, even if they loved my personality?
Or am I so socialized to believe that beauty is about what’s on the outside that I can’t accept that somebody could find me beautiful based on my personality — even though personalities are what I’m attracted to personally?
