ESSAY | MONTHLY THEME | PROMPTLY WRITTEN
One Last Goodbye
Gratitude Journal — Day 9
Maddy’s dad passed away shortly after midnight last night. We knew it was coming. He’d grown frail from two bouts of Covid, even though he’d been vaccinated. He had lost down to 109 lbs. And he’d stopped taking liquids. It was just a matter of time.
Maddy was supposed to go visit him today but chose to say goodbye over the telephone late yesterday evening. I’m grateful that s/he did. Dad didn’t last ’til morning and I know Maddy would have regretted not speaking to him, even though it was obvious Dad didn’t know who he was talking to on the phone — he’d had dementia for years. He’d often thought I was one of his sisters when I would visit.
It had taken me months to talk Maddy into visiting Dad. They didn’t get along and Maddy doesn’t like small talk which was the only thing the two had in common. Dad was a strict authoritarian and a staunch ultra-conservative Christian. Maddy is a free-thinker and a Taoist. Their different belief systems wouldn’t afford them long, lengthy conversations, and Maddy loves to ruminate about topics. Dad also wouldn’t have approved of Maddy’s transition, so s/he never told him about it.
There were so many things Maddy wanted to say to Dad on the phone last night, but all s/he could get out was “I love you, Dad.” And afterward, through tears, when s/he handed me the phone, Maddy said, “I know his spirit heard me.”
My heart swelled with gratitude. Gratitude that I’d continued to push Maddy to speak to Dad. Gratitude that s/he had the opportunity to say one last goodbye.
©2021 Lori Carlson. All Rights Reserved.
This is in response to the November Monthly Theme prompt — Keep a 30-day Gratitude journal. I am aiming to commit to this. Wish me luck!
Lori Carlson writes Poetry, Fiction, Articles, Creative Non-Fiction, and Personal Essays. Most of her topics are centered around Relationships, Spirituality, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Nature, Loss, Death, and the LGBTQ+ community. She is the Owner/Editor of Promptly Written and Not For Bedtime Stories. Check out her personal Medium blog here.
