Your Validation Does Not Come From The Opinion of People
Who are you when no one else is looking? that is the real you~Author
A story about freeing yourself from what people think
Where is your self-esteem?
Are you overly concerned about what other people think about you?
Do you constantly seek the validation of other people?
Do you second-guess your decisions and need other people to backup your
choices? I believe most people want to be liked.
While everyone’s opinion should not matter, most people care what their
family and close friends think.
While being liked is wonderful, I say stop and get off the bus of people-
pleasing.
Merriam-Webster describes people-pleasing as a person who has an
emotional need to please others, often at the expense of his or her own
needs or desires.
Stop holding on to someone else’s opinion of you; live the life you have left.
Leave people and all their opinions about what they think you should be
doing for them to settle.
Are you feeling guilty when you have to tell your children no? If you
answered yes, you might be a people-pleaser.
Are you dating people out of guilt because they seem nice? If you answered
yes, you might be a people-pleaser.
I’m here to say to you that everyone will not agree with you, not even
family or friends.
Are you agreeing to go out during the week when you know you have to get
to work early? If you answered yes, you might be a people-pleaser.
Are you going to spend time with in-laws who you know do not like you or
your kids? If you answered yes, you might be a people-pleaser.
Are you agreeing to poor business deals because they’re with a relative or
close friend? If you answered yes, you might be a people-pleaser.
What a sobering reality to look into your soul and recognize that some of
the decisions you made were because you wanted validation, not because
they were wise.
We are individuals, not clones.
We cannot have such a low opinion of ourselves that we need the constant
approval of others.
I believe there is wisdom in gathering information and feedback.
However, at the end of the day, if you are an adult, you should trust your
basic judgment to make decisions.
If you find yourself constantly asking people their thoughts about how to
raise your children, you might be a people-pleaser.
If you are constantly posting online in an attempt to get the opinions of
strangers about how to live your life, you might be a people-pleaser.
If you are married and you cannot decide on the menu independently after
five years of marriage, you might be a people-pleaser.
This story is not meant to throw stones; it’s written to inspire and arouse
self-awareness.
I say to those reading that you have the tools within you to make the
necessary decisions.
We are all humans, and eventually, we will let you down; we will falter in
some way.
I hope the single mom who is reading this understands she has all the tools
to raise the children she has been entrusted with.
No one has all the answers, even in a two-parent home.
I hope the person who may be battling sickness and disease and has no
support system recognizes that they can be someone else’s support system.
If life has given you lemons, let’s make some lemonade.
If you are single and in your forties or fifties and are lowering your
standards to date the first person that comes along, you may be a people-
pleaser. Develop some self-esteem and heal your emotions.
This story is not a put-down, and I’m not a Debbie Downer.
This story is intended to shock some sense into those who may be living
their entire lives pleasing people who don’t value them.
Value yourself, learn to love yourself, and you will be amazed at how life
will change for you. This story was birthed out of a story I published here.
Thank you for reading.
Be Well
