Chatting About Squirting
This is the last piece of my trilogy about female ejaculation. Don’t be sad, you know me, I love talking about sex so I’ll definitely come back on squirting.
In my last article about the specific stimulation women need to get to squirt I mentioned 5 amazing women; someone will say some rare birds but I prefer to call them my WonderWoman Team: Viki, Sara, Mel, Steph and Vero!
I love these girls for their enthusiastic, honest and empowering approach to sex and I have to thank them for sitting with me and for talking about squirting for half a day. Such a lovely way to spend the day!
You know, I’m fascinated by everything sex-related and, of course, I love to chat about everything sex but when the topic is kind of a myth about female sexuality I value even more chatting with real people who are actually doing it.
So here I am, ready to share with you most of the convo we had, because the best way to overcome a taboo is to talk about that topic. So let’s discuss about female ejaculation, let’s make it real and let’s share it as much as we can!
Viki: 28 yo, heterosexual, has been in only a couple of serious relationships, including the one she’s in right now.
Steph: 29 yo, bisexual, has been married to a women but now with a men.
Vero: 30 yo, heterosexual in a relationship and founder of Miss On The Go.
Mel: 30 yo, pansexual and demisexual, in a polyamorous relationship.
Sara: 35, heterosexual and married.
Me: We never forget the first time. How did you figure out you can squirt?
Mel: I discovered it years ago by self-stimulation and it happens when I have more than one orgasms in one section. Later I found it would happen with partners too but I need to be very comfortable with them and also very aroused usually with foreplay and teasing.
Vero: It was a surprise! I had sex in a car and I was on top. My man told me to drink a lot of water just before sex and that I’d have squirted! I never squirted in the past and said: oh well, we’ll see! And boom! He took his thumb and made pressure on my clitoris while I was riding him: he was right, I did it and it felt like magic!
Viki: I found out with my current partner. I think it’s a mix of being very comfortable with him and also letting myself go where ever I need to.
Steph: I’ve been married to a woman for 3 years in my mid 20' and it was with her I experimented for the first time The Squirt!! At first it was easier for me to make my wife cum like that because I’d discovered the trick on her. After practice, I was able to do it on my self anytime I wanted!
Sara: It was 3 years ago with my husband. I wasn’t really looking for that as I thought I was not able to (I need quite long and intense stimulation for a “simple” orgasm…don’t speak to me about squirt!) BUT I was wrong. My husband was indeed very patient.
Me:There is no magic formula working every time, but what do you usually need to make yourself ejaculate?
The all WonderWoman Team: free your mind. Or have a mindful approach as it’s cooler to say today, squirting is not only physical. Women need to be in a emotional mood of letting go and not focusing on the action. No distractions, no fears, no being worried about how you look like. It’s more like a feeling of abandonment and complete trust.
I think we should ask to reclassify the brain as the main female sexual organ.
Steph: From my experience, even when they say “No you can’t make me come like that” they always do. The thing is every woman is different physically and emotionally SO it will always start with understanding and discovering each other with foreplay. Then, when it’s all warm and wet, you start with two fingers to put pressure on the back of the clitoris from the inside. You will feel the texture of the tissue is a little bit like a soft sponge. Continue to put pressure with a steady pace and increase the rhythm as you will feel the tissue getting tender. When the tissue is tense you can now give a little stroke and immediately remove your finger out of the vagina really fast! You should see the result instantly with a variable amount of squirt. The more you practice the more you will see the fountain appearing!
Vero: your sexual partner really matters but for me it usually works when: the fingers are curved and the palm is stimulating the clitoris; with the penis it has to be really hard and when I’m about to come, take it out from the vagina to the clitoris fast and hard. Position: I feel that when I’m on top, I have more control over it. When I have an orgasm, I push instead of holding it in.
Me:When you are masturbating, how do you recreate that strong stimulation on the G Spot?
Mel: If I use a magic wand I will squirt almost instantly and repeatedly to the point that it can become painful, so I restrain the use of the wand! If while having penetration I tighten into my Kegel ball, hold it until it’s impossible to keep it and I repeat this few times, I’ll squirt quickly. With toys it may be faster to achieve the ejaculation but for me it’s not as satisfying and powerful as with my partner.
Vero: I’m able with toys, especially glass dildo, I make the pressure inside my vagina with the head and shake it all over my clit when I cum and woah!
Sara: before I started doing Kegel exercises my vagina was less strong so I needed something rigid to put pressure and stimulate the G Spot properly like a stone dildo or something in aluminium. Now even a silicone toy with lift motion works! Of course never leave the clit alone on the outside!
Me:So pelvic floor control helps getting there. Do you train it regularly?
Mel: Kegel exercises help in the sense that the more you do them the faster you can orgasm, but the squirting seems to be more something you have to allow yourself to let go, to detach yourself from all the distractions and focus solely on the sexual energy and pleasure coursing within you.
Vero: I’ve been doing Kegel exercises since many years now and I’ve seen getting way more control on my orgasm and its intensity. I’m very much pro-Kegel, you know, I’ve created my own brand MissOnTheGo because I’ve seen progress on myself and I wanted to create something better of women like me who are users and for all women.
Viki: I don’t do Kegel. After having my son in September 2015 I had to see a pelvic floor therapist because my pelvic floor was too tight. This was due to before I got pregnant, I had a recurring bacterial vaginosis for up to two years, it was a nightmare. I’m allergic to the meds so nothing would work, but then I got pregnant and the hormones took my BV away. This most definitely had an effect on me physically and psychologically. I was embarrassed and even today I actually don’t think I have been able to squirt with my boyfriend. I have been able to do it on my own maybe 5 times in the past year. I think it’s all about my brain, I just need to let myself go like I used to, but I find it very hard. I am slowly starting to be able to squirt again when I’m on my own by being able to overcome stress and let my self go.
Sara: Nope I don’t, even though I have nothing against it. I wasn’t really doing any exercises before I started squirting ! But after a good squirt, it’s like you did a good Kegel workout anyway! The more you will be able to localise and use the pelvic muscles, the more it will be easy to squirt!
Me:How many times can you do it during sex?
Vero: I remember once I was so impressed. I was dating a beautiful Moroccan and we went to the XXX movie Theatre. We took a private cabin and had a great porno in the background. He unzipped my jeans and started stimulating my G Spot. His skills were very impressive. Within 2 minutes, he made me squirt 6 times with his fingers only!! I kept my jeans on, I was standing up still and I could definitely twist my jeans after! It was amazing.
- we don’t need someone else to squirt.
- stop think you can’t. Stop think at all, concentrate just on enjoying what’s going on. Your mind makes 80% of the job here.
- if you are with someone your intimacy and chemistry really makes the difference.
- a better control of your pelvic floor helps controlling your squirting or orgasm, Kegel ball exercises can help!
- there is a specific technique to take us to squirt and it’s a vigorous stimulation. If you are in a menage a mois, a dildo or a vibrator can help generating enough pressure on your G Spot.
- if you don’t get to ejaculate it’s ok. Being a squirter doesn’t make you a better lover, what matters is that you enjoy the whole experience and have fun.
I hope you enjoyed this honest convo about squirting as much as I loved the moment when, in the middle of the pub, we toasted “Happy Squirting!” and everybody there at least got to think about female ejaculation for one minute!