Integrity: The Costs of Bitterness

Recently, in an article called “People We Like”, I put together a quick list of personality traits that we appreciate in co-workers — in anyone, actually — and I feel I have to elaborate on one of the passages. Here’s what I wrote:

“We like sunny persons who are sincere in their manifestations and who have nothing to hide in their attitude to their team mates. This personality trait is called integrity. As opposed to that, there are people who appear to have several versions of their self; and they turn them on depending on the social situation they find themselves in. The switcher between those versions is often based on some personal biases or fears, and this internal dividedness is somehow felt by the others.”

On further thought, not only did this sound judgmental. Ironically, it looks like I compromised my own integrity by not going deep enough into the reasons that make people live their life at work not as their true selves. And, my true self is someone who digs to the core of things so… here I go :)

In line with the principles of non-violent communication, covered briefly in my other article, if we peg a person as someone who has “no integrity”, we’re creating a conflict. Surely, we prefer to be surrounded by people of integrity at work, and we do sense it when our co-workers are plagued by some inner biases, fears or conflicts… but what if we switch the focus from pointing fingers to uncovering the unmet needs? And, if we are to uncover the unmet needs of a human being who works in an organization, where are we supposed to go digging? Right, first we have to look into the values, principles and processes of the organization, scrutinizing its integrity, or lack of thereof.

Google — both as a company, and as a search engine, and as the keeper of my bookmarks :)— has served a vivid case which shows how organizational non-integrity forces employees to compromise their personal integrity. The internal crisis has unfolded around Google’s project to launch a censored search engine in China. Some employees refused to work on this project, and demanded that company’s leadership account for the incongruence with the company’s ethical code which says that Google will not build or deploy technologies aimed at violating human rights. Google’s leadership responded by rolling back the internal memo that had sparked the turmoil. Now, if you were in the shoes of the engineers assigned to do the job, how would you act? As a person of integrity (assuming you’re someone who stands for the protection of human rights around the globe), your only choice would be to decline the assignment and demand explanation from the company’s management, or to quit. But… what if the consequences of the choice you’d be facing are unrelated to your stand as a human rights champion? What if you opt for a steady employment, paycheck and other benefits at Google, and take this assignment on — or even take it on after one of your co-workers has declined it, and everyone now knows that you’ve acted like some sort of a strikebreaker? It takes some empathy to imagine how someone might feel, should they be faced with such a moral dilemma. I have a word for it, and the word is “bitter”, which is the same as broken into bits, or not whole, the opposite of “integrity”. “The strikebreaker” would hardly be held in high regard by their co-workers, and — most importantly — this unhealthy dynamics would have been unleashed by the company’s management who compromised not only their integrity as an organization, but personal integrity of their employees.

Let’s now consider a case which looks somewhat easier, on the surface. Many organizations list “mutual trust/respect” as one of their values, and… bypass, ignore or misrepresent this value in countless ways. Or, could be, they just forego the smaller details of what trust & respect stands for, at work. In simple terms, the question to ask yourself would be this:

Does my company — managers, stakeholders, co-workers — walk the talk and follow through on the company’s values, thus respecting my integrity and my personal values?

Or, am I forced to stash the cracks in both organizational and personal integrity, as cracks on a facade of building, making myself more and more bitter? The ex-Googler who wrote this article compiled a meticulous account of the company’s disintegrating values, and here’s what he had to say — and I’m quoting this because it’s so well said, for one, and because… many companies have become competitor-focused in the way he describes, despite the fact that customer satisfaction — of course — is listed as one of their core values. Here’s the quote, and the highlights in italic are mine:

“ … and probably worst of all, Google has become 100% competitor-focused rather than customer focused. They’ve made a weak attempt to pivot from this, with their new internal slogan “Focus on the user and all else will follow.” But unfortunately it’s just lip service. It’s not that they don’t care. The problem is that their incentive structure isn’t aligned for focusing on their customers, so they wind up being too busy and it always gets deprioritized. A slogan isn’t good enough. It takes real effort to set aside time regularly for every employee to interact with your customers. Instead they play the dangerous but easier game of using competitor activity as a proxy for what customers really need. This is where their incentives are focused. Google incentivizes successful feature and product launches, and by far the easiest, safest way to produce those is by copying competitors.”

I would suggest doing the following exercise. Assuming you joined an organization acting from the space of integrity, your personal principles & values must have been aligned with theirs. What happens is that with time — for good or bad, things always change — the organization becomes not what it used to be. And, it’s up to you to stay vigilant, and to watch out for the signs of erosion. A company may cite humility as one of its values, but what you see is arrogance. Or, they champion responsibility — but no one is personally responsible for messy processes. As I’ve observed, the many organizational messes, in the end, can usually be traced to just one person who is supposed to be responsible, and this person would be a leader, or a higher-up manager. If you find yourself concerned over the responsibilities which are not yours, this would be an alarming sign. As you examine the values in this fashion, sit with yourself and think hard if you want to be a part of the mess which has nothing to do with your personal values. Actually, it’s customary for organizations to run performance reviews of their employees. What if the reverse practice were introduced? What if employees have a right to do performance reviews of their organizations? Would your organization — as an entity — be courageous and outright by introducing such a practice? Will they even allow for it, or will the idea be just mocked at?

We have examined integrity through the organization →you lens. Let’s turn it the other way around now, returning to my passage about sunny persons who are loved by everyone :) In the organization →you context, you represent yourself, looking at how company’s integrity or non-integrity aligns with you. To be able to see through the you →organization lens, we need to step into the shoes … of the collective. Run through your values and personality traits and ask yourself — am I compatible with this company’s culture? The Q&A session would, likely, result in either of these:

1. I am not a jerk; it’s the collective who’s a jerk (think the crooked “frat-boy” culture, for instance).
2. I am a jerk, and the collective is not.

…. and there could be countless ways for the above two options to come across. It’s not even about being “a jerk” per se. You could be the one who does not enjoy the usual team building activities, such as laser tag parties, video game contests, shooting range outings, etc., and this is not because you are against bonding with your team. It’s just… that your ways of bonding may be different. For example, you might enjoy thoughtful conversations about life, and that’s how you bond with your team mates. The question is: would they consider you an odd one for opting out of the game/party activities, and how would you feel, exposed to the uncomprehending stares of the others? That’s where those drops of bitterness will likely trickle in. The default meaning behind the value of “respect” in most companies would imply this: “I/we pledge to respect you assuming you are a lot like me/us.”

They talk a lot about diversity at workplace, but still… there’s a line, for many, that marks the threshold after which uncomprehending looks and uncomfortable attitudes find a breeding ground. And, if you catch “the looks”, it’s almost for certain that… your need for acceptance is being unmet. Even if the collective think of themselves as “open-minded”, someone in your team might still prefer not to disclose their “true self”. Again, there can be myriad examples. A foster kid who is uncomfortable letting everyone know who they are. Or, someone has no college degree, and feels uncomfortable about this. By the way, for this particular one, the news was out that some companies including Google — thoroughly dissected in this article:) — no longer require college degrees from their employees.

Zooming out, there’s an overarching theme of “coming out of the closet” at workplace, and it’s not only about gays. Many of us have a reason for hiding something about ourselves, and often the reason is fear. Some are afraid to get out of their spiritual closets, for fear of being ridiculed. Those folks can be as sunny as it gets, once they allow their true self to shine, at work… but would it actually be OK for them to come out? And, I haven’t actually intended to go as far as this, but… if you will, here I am, coming out of my spiritual closet. What now?:)

The life of non-integrity at workplace can be very miserable, as both mental and physical health of the “closeted” team mate/-s suffers from the non-acceptance. The bitter employees disconnect from their workplace emotionally, and care less and less about what they do at work. Gallup even published a report called “The Worldwide Employee Engagement Crisis”, well worth a read. To sustain organizational performance, we will want to keep the employees engaged, and for that, the culture of respect to personal integrity is a must.

I hope this article has provided some food for thought. Stay tuned for more :)