The Tricks of Us vs. Them
Today I would like to take an in-depth look into the phenomenon of one-sided narratives, and how the one-sidedness of the informational — and, hence, cultural — environment makes us feel unhappy at work and in life. At times, the one-sidedness might provide a feeling of belonging to a certain group, or a tribe, but it also creates a division, and … we’ve all seen to what one-sided narratives get down to globally. The “us vs. them” mentality, in various disguises, cripples our very essence as human beings. What’s notable is that the crippling often occurs unbeknownst to us. We might be 100% confident that we are clean, because normally we don’t want to expose ourselves to the information which clearly discriminates based on race, gender, religion, etc. The one-sidedness gets at us when the information that we take in makes us feel like our own needs are unmet and turns us into less than we are. It doesn’t have to be about us personally. For someone who is empathic and feels for others it might be just as cringing to sense the imbalance of the one-sided narratives, even if those narratives-turned-into-dogmas do not pertain to them personally. The imbalance just cries for an emergency remedy in the form of a narrative that would present a different perspective. Let me give some examples.
Millennials and non-millenials
I saw a question at Quora recently, and the question read: “Why do so many people hate the millennials?” A quick look at the answers shows that whoever gave them has mostly acted from the point of detecting “negatives/positives”. Baby Boomers are such and such, Gen X are such and such, and Millennials are such and such. It’s worth noting that the question generated 100+ answers which is a clear indicator that this particular case of “us vs. them” has grown into a very sensitive sore spot. To me, the answer to this question is simple: many people “hate millenials” because the informational environment seems to be overfilled with the one-sided narratives that seem to only care for millenials. Naturally, as a 1975-born Gen X’er I feel a rush of rebellion whenever I see a narrative that singles out this particular generation. So, here’s you sh..t talk about millenials again. How about my generation, how about me? What if I look younger than many of those millenials? What if it’s Gen X who is a combination of unique qualities? My generation was the last one to grow and to come of age in the country which now seems as distant in time as the Roman Empire! Do you know in which way this unique background has made me who I am? These are just some of the thoughts that rush through my mind, and… as I cool down and take a detached look at my emotional reaction, I see how the “millenial narratives” tricked me. And *blushing* I would then search out a quick read on how cool the Gen X are. Of course, I have quite a few friends who are, well, millennials, and I don’t think of them as someone who is hated by many. They are just people, my friends! It’s the black magic of a one-sided narrative that for a minute enticed me into a space of division and evoked the sharp feeling of my need for a recognition as a unique human being unmet!
Another tentacle of “us vs. them” polarity may get at us through the one-sided narratives that speak of a certain business or work practice as a given, and seem to imply this: “If you are not doing your business this way, you are out. You do not belong to the tribe of successful entrepreneurs.”
Take venture capital and grow… or you’re not for real
Once upon a time, there has been a world of start-ups. This world has thrived on the ideology of raising venture capital at all costs and growing at all costs. If an outsider would peek into this world, they would have been… well, kind of perplexed. The narratives in the VC-only world have never taught how to discern if raising a venture capital is actually a viable strategy. They never accentuated the short-term and long-term consequences of the “grow through VC” mindset. As a result, the tribe of VC-start-up-zealots became blinded by the one-sidedness. They even made the caricature of themselves, as featured in the “Silicon Valley” TV series. The show has been renewed for the 6th season, proving itself an excellent highlight-the-other-perspective remedy for those struggling to keep their sanity. I’ll offer a quick cool-off pill to the inmates of the VC-at-all-costs prison, quoted from here:
“Venture Capital often pushes what could’ve been a successful small business to over-expand and ultimately fail; prevents companies from focusing their priorities; distracts from finding a monetization plan; causes conflict due to the misalignment of incentives between VCs and founders; and is full of far too many unethical bullies and thugs.”
Actually, as far back as in 2006, a book was written called “Getting Real”. The book is as eminent now in 2018, as it was in 2006, even if not more. It serves a treasure pot of ideas and insights for someone who wants a sensible narrative that teaches to discern and offers a pragmatic perspective on all things softdev start-ups. Now this book is available for free, as a .pdf file. You don’t have to raise venture capital to be a successful entrepreneur. You don’t have to grow at all costs. You’re not alone. Don’t let the one-sided VC-choir lure you into a belief that you are lacking and unsuccessful, if you don’t buy into their default option. Remember: your need for finding your own answers to your own why’s is being met outside of the one-sided silo of a mass narrative you’ve got yourself into.
There are many more stories about the disempowering effects of one-sided narratives in my bucket list. And, every story comes with the answer on how to claim the power back. I’m sure anyone reading this has recalled how certain mainstream narratives make them cringe, too. By pulling those beasts out of the dark, one by one, we deny them the luxury of killing our value, as professionals and as unique human beings. I would certainly encourage anyone — just as I encourage myself — to tell their unique stories of gaining their personal power back by calling the one-sided narratives from all walks of life out into the open.
