11 Reasons Why? I broke 18 Years of Friendship.
It was the best decision I’ve ever made.
A little background information:
It’s been more than 2 years of no contact with my ex-BFFs. And I don’t regret the friendship we had. I adore those moments. However, I also believe that it was good then — and we are better off without each other now.
My top 13 reasons why I ended 18 years of friendship.
- We’re toxic to each other. We needed to outgrow each other so we could grow as an individual.
- Her mother hated us for being friends. Although, my parents too didn’t want me to involve with her. They didn’t really work to destroy our friendship. The reverse happened from her side of the family.
- I could not trust her with my secrets. If I did share one thing with her today. The next day, I’ll have to listen to her whole family’s opinions.
- We lacked common values. Just one example: For her, being in a relationship is sinful. I couldn’t talk about my romantic interest with her. If I do it, then I would be considered an immoral person.
- Her negative mindset. She was never open to new values and opinions other than the ones that are rooted in her spirit from the beginning of her life. For her and me to work out. I would have to live with a fixed mindset.
- The very last argument. We used to fight. But we haven’t ever “not talked” to each other because of it. But the last time we fought. I never called her. She didn’t either.
- She was egoistic. I used to embrace every part of her. Tears. Pain. Happiness. And everything in between. But she only loved to hold the best part of me. If I did some mistakes, she used to hold grudges forever.
- She was not true to me. I was an honest friend to her. In case of her, she was just being nice, even if she didn’t like how I talked or what I did. As I said before, she used to hold grudges about the things we never ever had a conversation about. I was an open book, and she was not. At least not with me.
- I fell in love with her cousin. I told her from the beginning that I liked him and that I need her help. She never helped me with that. When she got to know we were together. She cut ties instantly. (PS Her cousin is my BFF now)
- Inability to forgive. I mean, how do you feel when you find your soulmate and you have to part ways because of a friend “who was supposed to be a support system.” I couldn’t forgive or forget her betrayal and I’m in a good place now. You don’t have to forgive or forget to move on as Taylor Swift said.
- She was never there when I needed her the most. I went through depression and anxiety at some point. She was not there to hold or listen to me. She never wanted to know about my mental state. She was a friend just for good stuffs.
How do I feel about it now?
I feel like life is a book of blank pages. It happens whether you choose to live or just breathe.
Important people come and go through one’s life. And it’s ok. Just because we had a beautiful past doesn’t mean we need to be included in each other’s lives in the future.
Outgrowing her was such a blessing for present me. I know being with her was a blessing then.
We are here to live our life. In order for me to be who I am today, I needed diverse people to accompany me.
It was needed for me to grow as a person, explore different shades of life, and live in various footsteps.
Which was nearly impossible to see if I was in the same old place. All I am doing today is living my life fully in the best way possible.
I am open to every life experience. I love to feel every emotion, i.e. happiness, sadness, fearfulness, fearlessness, confusion, curiosity, etc.
My life is an adventure these days and I equally adore my overwhelming and confusing stage of life.
I am taking risks, learning new things, building new habits and, above all, working on being a better person every day.
People come and go. And nobody knows whether we’ll be collied with good ones or not. The only thing that’s ever gonna last till the end of my life is myself.
Therefore, I’m completely determined to keep myself healthy so that I could be enough for myself till the end.
