19 Types of Higher Education Professionals
By: Cody Charles
I’m not sure why I took the time to do this, but…it was a little fun. If you work on a college campus, chances are you have come across these people.
Add other types of administrators, staff, and faculty on college campuses by using #SJEchat and #HigherEdHatesMe.
This piece is shaped by my fat queer cis femme Black man lens.
Enjoy!
- The Bull-Shitter
Will do and say anything to gain social clout. Agrees with all things and everyone, if you have power to offer promotion and allocate resources. Led by ego and whiteness (and maleness).
Perpetrators: Cishet white men, and their ashy Black and brown brethren
Favorite TV Shows: House of Cards, Blacklist, and Power
2. The No Good Do-Gooder
Banks on being kind and a good person. Often concentrates on single acts of service, actively disregarding systemic issues. This is an #alllivesmatter person or a faux #BlackLivesMatter person.
Perpetrators: Liberal White women, Hillary supporters, non-intersectional humans
Favorite TV Shows: The Good Wife, Grey’s Anatomy, Sherlock or Elementary, and Orange is the New Black
3. The Scholar
They are allowed not to care about marginalized people, and are rarely held accountable for the violence they cause. These folk reinforce racist, ableist, classist, anti-Black structures within academia.
Perpetrators: white academics
Favorite TV Shows: Frasier, Seinfeld, House, and The West Wing
4. The Ashy Black Crew
Black folk that roam around calling each other kings and queens. Completely bought into the gender binary, and struggle with queer, trans, gender non-conforming, and non-binary people. However, they are content with Black queer/trans/gnc/nb labor.
Perpetrators: Black Greeks, Hoteps, church goers
Favorite TV Shows: Empire, The Game, and any Tyler Perry production
5. The Laborers
These folks will labor endlessly to protect their students from the current system in place. They will try to create space and inclusion for the students they feel responsible to. Again, this labor only stretches the current system, not dismantle.
Perpetrators: The disabled Black/brown queer and trans folk attempting to survive our college campuses.
Favorite TV Shows: True Blood, Real Housewives of Atlanta, and American Crime
6. The Disruptors
Like the laborers, the disruptors labor tirelessly as well. However, their aim is to dismantle systems and create chaos that forces the institution and its people to reckon with itself. They are constantly seeking ways to uncover the truth, and remain incredibly vulnerable to violence.
Perpetrators: Black women, disabled Black and brown queers/trans/GNC/NB
Favorite TV Shows: How to Get Away With Murder, Queen Sugar, and Insecure
7. The “But I have Tenure”
They somehow believe their credentials will save them from the white supremacist imperialist anti-Black cis-heteropatriarchal ablest system. They generally join academia to create access, but lose their way the more invested they become within this oppressive system.
Perpetrators: Black and brown folk in the academy, other marginalized folk violently invested in academia
Favorite TV Shows: Greenleaf, Underground, and CSI
8. The Tokens, Coons, and tragically Carefree
These are the folks who will stop at nothing to be seen as valuable to white folks. Usually, they are the Black and brown folks chosen for promotion. They are clueless, as they find immense pleasure in being the life of the predominantly white party. Often, they are rewarded for their loyalty and ability to please and entertain white people. They believe themselves to be winning at life.
Perpetrators: ashy Black and brown humans at a variety of intersections
Favorite TV Shows: Friends, The Office, Parks and Recs
9. The “Black Lifetime Movie Watch Party” Crew
The folks that can’t wait to unpack the Aaliyah, New Edition, Fantasia Barrino, and Whitney story during the lunch hour. This conversation is generally accompanied by loud and joyous laughter, while a group of white people watch from the peripheral- either yearning to participate in the joy too, or fearfully wondering if the Black folk are staging a coup. The answer is yes white folk- we are staging a coup! Beware.
These folk are focused on surviving the violent institutional climate by prioritizing joy and community. They don’t always take risk, or use their voice, but we need them to.
Perpetrators: Joyful and resilient Black folk, a variety of other Black folk (ashies, tragically carefree, and even the tokens will join in at times)
Favorite TV Shows: BET Awards, Scandal, and Being Mary Jane
10. The “Bachelor or Bachelorette Finale” Crew
White people watching white people do white things romantically, and are super eager to chat with Black and brown folk about it the next morning. Tip- WE DON’T CARE. Additionally, they are not very active in campus politics, so they are typically silent as violence occurs.
Perpetrators: white women, and the people who love them
Favorite TV Shows: Dancing with the Stars, Gilmore Girls, and Pretty Little Liars
11. The Undercover Conservative
When the area your institution resides in goes red in the election, and you know some of your colleagues voted for 45. However, they try to be super nice to you and all the Black and brown folk, but you can smell the violence on their breath.
Perpetrators: Fragile white people, ashy brown folk
Favorite TV Shows: NYPD Blue, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Tiny House, Big Living
12. The “I drive a range rover and work in student affairs” crew
Ugh.
Perpetrators: Ugh, ugh!
Favorite TV Shows: Game of Thrones and House Hunters
13. The I’m Oppressed too
We all know these annoying people. They will strategically assert the ways in which they are oppressed, in order to derail a conversation that makes them uncomfortable. They are quite effective at putting an end to critical conversations on college campuses.
Perpetrators: white queers, white people from working class families, poor white people, the greater white community
Favorite TV Shows: Parenthood, Girls, and Veep
14. The Strategic Untrustworthy Horrible Foolish Fucked up Inhumane Trashbox Shitheads
The fucked-up leaders of most institutions. They will not hesitate to cut budgets and jobs. Led by money, their whiteness, their maleness, and their ego, these inhumane fuckers are silent when marginalized students, staff, and faculty are targeted on college campuses.
Perpetrators: charismatic and mediocre white cis-het men, some connection to historical wealth
Favorite TV Shows: Suze Orman, Geraldo at Large, Hannity, Queer as Folk, and Nancy Grace
15. The “I’m just trying to collect this check” Crew
They are the “fuck it all. I’m tired, and I have more to be concerned with after 5” folk. They are simultaneously unbothered and overwhelmed. However, a violent campus issue will tap them back in, and they become a laborer or disruptor.
Perpetrators: Tired conscious Black folk, Black women and femmes
Favorite TV Shows: Reruns- Martin, A Different World, and Living Single
16. The Tag-alongers
Brown and non-Black queer folk who enjoy Black labor, but are unwilling to assume any of the risk. Some of them despise Black people; others show their distaste through their buy-in to white supremacy and anti-Blackness. Again, for the folks in the back, Black people are not your mules.
Perpetrator: brown folk, non-Black queer folk
Favorite TV Shows: Will and Grace, Law and Order SVU, and American Horror Story
17. The Faux Freedom Fighters
Good at attending campus conversations around violence against marginalized folk. They love to speak when in those spaces. However, when it comes down to it, they refuse to take any risk or call out problematic behaviors. They only show up to be seen.
Perpetrators: cis-het white men and women
Favorite TV Shows: Arrow, The Walking Dead, and Once Upon a Time.
18. The Whole
The folks who think you should enter student affairs with only the whole parts of yourself. The broken parts are of no use to the field, and should be worked through on your own time.
i.e. — The impact of racism, white supremacy, ableism, anti-blackness, queer and trans antagonism, and classism should be left at home, and dealt with in the oh so much free-time we have after 5.
Perpetrators: 1 white woman and the people who love her.
Favorite TV Shows: Modern Family, Nashville, and Chicago Fire
19. The Best of Us
Conscious folk who are deeply marginalized and brilliant. They are often the most knowledgeable, and the least centered. They know best! They often show up as disruptors.
Perpetrators: Black and brown trans, gnc, and nb folk
Favorite TV Shows: Sense 8, Luke Cage, and The Wire
…And for the record, Student Affairs remains a Sham and continues to Hate Me.
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This is the work of Cody Charles; claiming my work does not make me selfish or ego-driven, instead radical and in solidarity with the folk who came before me and have been betrayed by history books and storytellers. Historically, their words have been stolen and reworked without consent. This is the work of Cody Charles. Please discuss, share, and cite properly.
Bio:
Cody Charles is the author of Getting To Know Rosa Lee: An Overdue Conversation With My Mother, Black Joy, We Deserve It, The Night The Moonlight Caught My Eye: Not a Review but a Testimony on the Film Moonlight, 5 Tips For White Folks, As They Engage Jordan Peele’s Get Out. (No Spoilers), A Letter to Black Greeks Who Happen to be Black and Queer, Student Affairs is a Sham, and What Growing Up Black And Poor Taught Me About Resiliency. Join him for more conversation on Twitter (@_codykeith_) and Facebook (Follow Cody Charles). Please visit his blog, Reclaiming Anger, to learn more about him.
