Treating Your Partner Well Isn’t a Favor
Here’s why it matters so much
When you are in a relationship, treating your partner well is a minimum standard.
It’s not a favor, it’s an expectation.
That seems like something that shouldn’t need to be said — it really shouldn’t — but we so often get tripped up on this basic element of healthy relationships.
Being thoughtful and considerate should be a given, not something that comes with strings attached.
In this blog post, we’ll discuss why treating your partner well isn’t a favor – they deserve it — and why it’s so vital to a good partnership.
Why Treating Your Partner Well Isn’t a Favor
Good treatment in a relationship should never be seen as a favor — it’s something that you and your partner both deserve.
The deserving part is important.
We all go through different traumas and encounter different experiences which shape our beliefs about ourselves and how we should be treated by others.
Unfortunately, some negative experiences can lead us to feel undeserving of even the most minimal forms of good treatment in relationships.
These limiting beliefs about ourselves are not true.
Everyone deserves kindness, respect, understanding, and compassion in a relationship.
Good treatment isn’t something you have to earn.
If earning good treatment is a belief you hold, you probably build the belief at a young age in your core family system. Unraveling that kind of childhood belief is not easy but it is possible.
It might also be necessary.
Why? Because another way to say “treat your partner well” is respect.
Respect matters in relationships.
“Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.” — Miguel Angel Ruiz
Without respect, there can be little to no trust or understanding. Respect for each other doesn’t mean acquiescing to everything the other person wants.
Rather, it means listening to their ideas and opinions with openness and empathy.
Showing respect to your partner allows for space for two different individuals to exist within the same relationship while also expressing love for one another.
How To Treat Your Partner Well With Small Acts of Kindness
Actions speak louder than words, so showing respect through simple acts of kindness can go a long way in any relationship.
It conveys that you care about the other person without having to say anything at all.
Taking time out of your day to do something thoughtful like making breakfast in bed or surprising them with their favorite flowers will show that you appreciate them just as they are.
Flaws and all.
“Be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree, always offering respect onto others and never expecting any in return.” — Chaitanya Mahaprabhu
And remember: it’s often the small things that count.
Even doing something as simple as putting away their laundry before they get home from work speaks volumes about how much you value them as an individual.
You also show that you are willing to take an active role in supporting them emotionally.
But being respectful also involves communication and understanding between partners
That means talking regularly and openly about your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and goals so that both people feel heard within the relationship.
Respectful dialogue doesn’t necessarily mean agreement either.
It just means allowing each member of the couple to express themselves honestly without fear of judgment or criticism from the other side.
Practice active listening skills such as validating and paraphrasing statements back to confirm understanding—this will help build connection and trust between you two over time.
What Happens If We Treat Respect and Kindness as a Favor
When we look at treating someone with respect and kindness as a favor, it can come off as a subtle message to our partner that he or she is not worthy of such treatment.
It’s almost like saying that you are going above and beyond by being kind and respectful to them, rather than viewing it as an expected part of any caring relationship.
Sure, gestures of love and appreciation are always appreciated.
But they should never be looked upon as "favors."
Doing so implies that you are expecting something in return, which takes away from the genuine nature of relationships.
Viewing good treatment as something that is given when earned only breeds resentment and mistrust over time. It’s a transactional view of relationships that almost never works.
Also, treating your partner with respect isn’t a bargaining chip.
It’s simply the right thing to do.
In healthy relationships, kindness should be mutual and freely given by both parties—not seen as something extra one has to do to earn their partner’s approval or love.
What Happens If We Don’t Treat Our Partners With Respect and Kindness
Unfortunately, not respecting our partners can have devastating effects on relationships.
It creates mistrust, resentment, and distance between partners which can often lead to arguments — or even worse things like infidelity or divorce if left unchecked for too long.
Additionally, failing to show respect cheapens our view of our partners by devaluing their contributions or opinions.
We undermine their confidence in us as loving companions.
The key is learning how to make each other feel valued regardless of disagreements.
Ultimately, relationships should foster mutual growth without sacrificing self-respect on either side.
Final Thoughts
Treating your partner with kindness and respect isn’t just beneficial for keeping the peace.
It’s vital for maintaining healthy relationships across all kinds of partnerships: romantic ones and also friendships, too.
Ultimately, valuing our partners is not a bonus behavior.
It should come naturally out of our genuine love, and appreciation for one another.
At its core, any kind gesture toward someone else is simply validating a person’s immutable worth as a human being.
Related posts:
- Trickle Truthing Is a Subtle Relationship Timebomb
- What To Do When You Don’t Like Your Partner
- The Verbal Skill Missing From Most Unhappy Relationships
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