Signs of Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in recovery from codependency. They both build and reflect self-esteem. Learning to have healthy boundaries is an essential aspect of individuating and becoming an individual and autonomous person.

Boundaries are learned in childhood. Some dysfunctional families are enmeshed and your individuality and boundaries are ignored or openly disrespected in words or actions; for example, verbal and physical abuse, prying into your personal communications, denying your privacy, and disrespecting your feelings and opinions. Trauma and toxic shame damage our boundaries. Boundaries are also taught and modeled by parental guidance and behavior in how to treat other people.

First, you must be able to identify your feelings, believe you have rights and value, and then have the courage and the words to express your boundaries.

Signs of recovery and healthy boundaries are:

1. You’re able to say “no.”

Codependents hold onto resentment when they don’t set boundaries and usually feel guilty when they do. They don’t feel entitled to set them and experience setting boundaries as harsh or selfish.

2. You don’t let others abuse or exploit you.

With healthy boundaries, you won’t let others violate you. You won’t tolerate abuse or let…