My experience with mental fitness
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
— Robert Frost
Since reading this poem for the first time in middle school, this final stanza from “A Road Not Taken” always comes to mind when I face tough decisions. It is a reminder that every decision has consequences, and the safe, predictable path does not lead to the best outcome.
My first exposure to psychology was in my undergraduate coursework. I’ve always been fascinated by the elements of personality and life experience that have shaped who we have become. I was introduced to organizational behavior concepts during my MBA program and decided to continue my education until I had completed a degree in I/O psychology. At the time I started my Ph.D. program, I had also changed companies and careers so I could focus more on how to improve the experience of employees and customers.
Emotional intelligence was still a newer concept at the time, yet the concept resonated with me so I based my dissertation on exploring what attributes might cause individuals or groups of people to have different levels of emotional intelligence. Additionally, I started to study multiple personality and other interpersonal assessments we were using at work to train employees and their managers. I ended up achieving multiple certifications in many tools.
As I completed my certification to administer an emotional intelligence assessment, I had the opportunity to measure my emotional intelligence. I took the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test, which objectively measured four abilities: the ability to perceive emotion, the ability to use emotion to facilitate thought, the ability to understand emotion, and the ability to manage emotion. My scores on the assessment were not horrible, but they were lower than I expected. That was one of the first signs I had an opportunity to improve my self-awareness.
It’s worth pointing out that I am an extreme introvert. I get my energy and motivation from internal sources. I can be social and outgoing when I’m working on something that is aligned with my values, but after long hours of social interaction, I need time by myself to recharge my “batteries.” When I’m “in the zone,” I usually have my headphones on and my music playing to remain deep in thought as I recharge.
Despite my psychological training, I still noticed I had certain tendencies that made it difficult to reconcile my emotions. Because I am intrinsically motivated, I have developed an inner voice that acts as a critic when I feel stressed or upset. As an introvert, I sometimes struggle to express my feelings verbally, meaning I’m good at listening, but not so great as a conversationalist. I also tend to avoid confrontation, which means I naturally pull away from emotional conversations or avoid conflict altogether. I’m still trying to better understand how I developed these traits and tendencies.
I was introduced to the concept of positive intelligence (PQ) right after I completed my Ph.D. On the surface, it made sense, but I did not have the mental stamina to research a new model after finishing my research on emotional intelligence. A few years later, I was introduced to PQ again and invited to participate in a mental fitness boot camp. It was a decision that has permanently altered the trajectory of my life.
In the mental fitness program, I was introduced to the concept of saboteurs. I learned how/why the voice in my head, my inner critic, was able to influence my thoughts and feelings. I learned about self-judgment and where to draw the line between discernment and criticism. I also learned to categorize other thought processes and behaviors that were sabotaging my ability to be successful AND happy.
The most important thing I learned was the thought patterns my brain had built up over time. Much like “The Road Not Taken,” during all the stressful times that invoked my inner critic, I was presented with a fork in the road. The path that was most comfortable and easiest to follow was the one that led to patterns of thought fueled by the saboteurs in my brain. I needed a way to slow down my emotional reactions long enough to observe both paths in front of me and consciously choose the best path.
With daily practice, weekly videos, an audiobook, and interaction with my peer group, I started rewiring my brain. I learned to practice mindfulness in short, focused sprints (about 10 seconds to two minutes long). In the mindfulness activities, I learned to focus intensely on physical sensations. This practice quieted the inner critic in my head. The mindfulness activities (PQ reps in the positive intelligence framework) help me connect with my feelings and emotions to make a conscious decision about how I will respond to the stimuli involving an emotional response within me. Over six weeks, mindfulness exercises became a regular part of my daily routine. I have learned to choose the “less traveled path,” and it has made all the difference.
There are three tangible benefits I attribute to my increased mental fitness.
1. Peace of mind at work. As a result of working in stressful environments for the last 8+ years of my career, I developed unhealthy responses to stress. My emotions could get easily triggered, which resulted in the inner critic (aka The Judge) taking over and keeping me in a negative mindset. The stress in my workplace has not decreased. In fact, it has probably increased, but my ability to respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset helps me keep my stress levels low.
2. Improved communication with my wife. My tendency to avoid conflict and reconcile my emotions internally was not winning me any points at home either. My increased mindfulness and ability to stop the flow of negative thoughts help me overcome my emotions much quicker and keep the lines of communication open with my wife. We can have tough conversations now that don’t result in me disappearing into my thoughts for several hours (or longer) until my emotions are under control. On a side note, shortly after I completed the PQ program, my wife had a chance to participate, so we now have a common language and framework we can reference when we start to feel the influence of a negative mindset.
3. A passion for helping others achieve mental fitness. I have continued my mental fitness journey by learning how to host mental fitness programs to help others experience the benefits of having a positive mindset. I am learning how PQ relates to personality traits, behavior tendencies, thinking style preferences, strengths/talents, etc., and look forward to sharing my updates in this forum.
If you would like to learn more about positive intelligence, personality intelligence, or emotional intelligence, please post a question here, or email me at thompson.travis.j@gmail.com.
