Why Are We So Obsessed with Astrological Compatibility?
Are we looking for love in all the wrong signs?
Have you ever looked back at your relationships and realized that you’ve only dated Sagittariuses? Are most of your friends Cancers? You wouldn’t be alone!
When you pay attention to astrology as a tool for love, these patterns start to make sense. You form relationships based on shared interests or values, so it’s understandable that you gravitate towards people with certain placements. (After all, your birth chart is fixed, so certain parts of your personality or desires might be, too.) If there’s a certain sign you’re always drawn to, look for where it falls in your chart. You can find every sign in your chart, even if it’s not occupied by a planet! Sometimes a sign lines up with a house, but no planets. That sign still expresses itself in the part of your chart (and life) that the house it occupies will impact.
People searching for someone with a compatible sign has become ubiquitous — how many times have you been asked for your sign on a dating app? With something that feels as potentially clear cut as sign-to-sign compatibility, we theoretically don’t have to worry so much about all the different factors that go into romantic compatibility. During a time of seemingly endless internet matches, a narrowed selection of Pisces or Scorpio makes the search more manageable. Once you dive into the topic, it’s a lot less simple than it seems, with complicated charts full of different signs as complex as any noon-astrological analysis. Still, astrology feels like a shorthand of personality types that can be used to navigate the world.
So, why are we so interested in astrological compatibility? At times, it can offer a cosmic confirmation that you and someone were made for each other. We’re all looking for insight into who our perfect match would be and the idea that love could be written in the stars is promising and gives validation for potential partners or current relationships. When looking for promising outcomes, birth charts can feel like an outline for the basic foundations in a new or old relationship.
When most people start looking towards astrology for their best match, they tend to focus on sun signs, but compatibility isn’t restricted to just that. While this can be a good place to start, Sanctuary horoscope astrologer, Nyssa, says a closer look can be more revealing. “This can be a good indicator of whether or not you can keep pace with each other, because your energy levels will tend to match,” explains Nyssa. “Two fire suns may love staying out late partying together, and two earth suns may prefer entertaining at home for a small group of friends, but energy is only a tiny fraction of what makes for healthy relationships.”
Looking at the full picture of you and your partner’s (or potential partner’s) placements will be more revealing. “A good rule of thumb is to see if your partner has planetary placements in the sign opposite your rising sign, to get a good look at how their attributes can balance you out. While most people tend to tout Venus and Mars placements as key, I think that moon sign compatibility is critical. We act out our moon sign traits when we are tired or stressed, or when we’re arguing, which will happen in intimate relationships. Knowing when to offer support and when to give space to your partner is super important. The moon sign clarifies how we can really be there for someone in their moment of need, as well as how to allow another to reciprocate for us.”
Nyssa says that astrological compatibility goes beyond just romantic relationships. “Most people think that astrological compatibility is only about finding your perfect match, but it can actually give us valuable insight into all of our relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic,” she says. “It can even help us get along better with our family! Astrology doesn’t discriminate, which is part of its allure, and astrological compatibility helps us to think critically about how we engage with others.” Astrology gives us a lens to look through for self-analysis. Rather than being a perfect reflection of who you are or an accurate predictor of the future, it can act as a Rorschach test, revealing shared values, personality strengths (or flaws), and differing communication styles.
Dating someone “incompatible”? Don’t worry! “Astrological compatibility is a tool, and just like any tool, when we use it constructively, we can build on our relationships through self-reflection,” Nyssa says. “When it’s used destructively, that tool can become a weapon. Love and attraction aren’t just written in the stars. They are written in mutual respect, shared interests, and in the heart. So, if you feel it, go for it, no matter what astrology tells you!”
Unsure about your placements? Download the Sanctuary app today to see your full birth chart (and have your S.O. get theirs , too!) Sanctuary astrologers offer full virtual readings and can give you insight on what the stars have written for your relationships.
