The Monthly Re-Up: March 2021
“I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.”
I’m gonna try to bring something new to Saoirse Ronan Deserves an Oscar. As The Television Project approaches its denouement, I’ve been trying to write more. I have a big Taylor Swift piece coming up soon, but in the meantime, I thought it might be a fun idea to instigate “monthly re-ups,” which would essentially serve the purpose of a check-in on all things SRDO (or Señor Deux, if you will), since I usually don’t get the chance to write about some of the things that interest me the most. After all, it’d be kind of nonsense to dedicate an entire article to an athlete’s jersey number, but when the fun is all collected in one place, maybe it just makes a little more sense.
It’s like a monthly column essentially! That’s the vibe I appreciated when I wrote about the news that For All Mankind’s Ron Moore was developing the Magic Kingdom universe for Disney Plooos. I thought it’d be fun to dabble in even more of that, across all the outlets in which I’m most invested. Music, television, politics, comedy, movies, theme parks, sports, food, travel, literature. All things culture, really. It’s all here! Hopefully! Either way, we’re kicking off the re-up foray/attempt-that-may-never-be-seen-again with a run-through of all that March 2021 had to offer. It’s doubly impressive because it’s usually the worst month!
L.S.U., A.D.: Lovely Saoirse Updates, All Day
I’m not talking about the athletic director of the LSU Tigers or determining what happened to Pixar after Lee Unkrich left the studio. This category is all about the loveliest updates and news about Saoirse Ronan because, of course, she is the namesake of this online journal.
Sadly, the Saoirse news in March was not all peachy, as she was not nominated for an Oscar for her role in Ammonite, even though she should have been. Another year at the Academy Awards, another year we have to wait to see if the voters plan to commemorate her unmatched talent. Instead, her category was rounded out with Maria Bakalova, Glenn Close, Olivia Colman, Amanda Seyfried, and Youn Yuh-jung. Bakalova was a revelation, Yuh-jung is delightful in Minari, and Seyfried was the best part of Mank. But we can pass on Colman this year. She’s won before! Saoirse hasn’t! And Glenn Close? For Hillbilly Elegy? Get out of here. We’ll look back on this one like how we shake our heads at the Academy ignoring Leonardo DiCaprio’s performance in Catch Me If You Can.
The next chance for Saoirse is already underway, though! Filming began on a new murder mystery, directed by Tom George. Buoyed by Searchlight (an awards-friendly endeavor), the movie stars Saoirse as Constable Stalker. Have murder mysteries earned their extra-genre keep as a staple of the awards conversation? I sure hope so because I’m back on the trophy train, baby! This one’s Saoirse’s, for sure!
The Journal Stays in the Picture
This category is supposed to keep tabs on the latest in movie news, so it only makes sense to keep dishing about the Oscars. While Saoirse may have been snubbed, there were a ton of nominations for some of this journal’s most beloved films of the year. Minari (a 2021 release) and The Trial of the Chicago 7 both nabbed six nominations. Soul and One Night in Miami both notched three (even though both were also snubbed from Best Picture). It was a solid batch of potential honorees!
But clearly, the best nomination is the only one I wished for, as if I promised Santa Claus to never ask for anything again if he only brought world peace to us all. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga is an Oscar-nominated movie, folks! I was surprised at how much I loved this movie back in the summer of 2020 and I love that, collectively, we willed “Husavik” to a nomination for Best Original Song. Considering it’s the only track with an actual impact on the narrative of the film, it should definitely win. We’ll see if we can get it all the way there. She’s singing in Icelandic, after all.
Elsewhere in the world of movies, there’s not a whole lot going on besides a whole bunch of delays. (Turns out, there’s a ton of time to die.) Netflix scooped up a Knives Out trilogy (!!). The MCU punted its film slate a full two years after it last toed the waters of superhero storytelling and April looks particularly dire for major releases. Fortunately, we did get a nice bit of news about the next Steven Spielberg feature! (The man is not just going to wait on West Side Story forever, y’all!) He’s returning to a more personal vehicle of storytelling and he’s already cast Seth Rogen in a key role for the film. We were all waiting for it, so it’s good to see them finally drop a collab together.
The Month in Music (Read: Taylor Swift)
Speaking of collabs, it’s also nice to see that Taylor Swift is still k̶e̶e̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶A̶a̶r̶o̶n̶ ̶D̶e̶s̶s̶n̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶J̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶A̶n̶t̶o̶n̶o̶f̶f̶ ̶h̶o̶s̶t̶a̶g̶e̶ making beautiful music with two incredibly supportive producers. Considering the facts that I’ve been a devout Swiftie for almost two years now and that Taylor never stops giving her fans something to hold onto, the music category will assuredly be dominated by Swift, especially as the re-records come in. But I’ll always have time to talk about Nick Jonas’ new album, Spaceman, (clearly inspired by For All Mankind), Olivia Rodrigo’s delightful teases, and Lana Del Rey’s whatever-she’s-up-to-this-time.
March was a good time to be a Swiftie, though. She dropped the next track from Fearless (Taylor’s Version), a ditty from the vault, “You All Over Me,” with new production from Dessner and backing vocals by Maren Morris. Obviously, it sounds like a Fearless song because she initially cut it from Fearless, but the maturity in her voice/Dessner of it all also helps it be its own thing, which is exactly what these re-records should be.
Thanks to the Grammy Awards, Swift also became one of the all-time legendary musicians (in terms of hardware), thanks to her third-ever Album of the Year win (Fearless, 1989, Folklore), which puts her in the same company as Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, and Paul Simon. (She already was, but still.) The Grammys are far from an objective barometer of quality in music, but there’s no real way for anyone to deny it now. Swift is on music’s Mount Rushmore — and she’s probably occupying Lincoln’s spot.
Her win wasn’t even the best part of the TS experience at the Grammys, though. That would instead refer to her medley performance of “Cardigan,” “August,” and “Willow,” which beat me up, ripped off my pearl necklace, shot me, and encouraged my future children to become caped vigilantes.
I don’t know, man. Sometimes, I just think “August” might be the best song ever written. And then there’s “Cardigan” with the best TS bridge ever composed. And then “Willow” had her use her chest voice instead of her head voice. It was a lot. I’m still thinking about it. And listening to it. It should be adapted into a Disney Plooos original series. Heed me.
Television Forever
Considering I’m still in the middle of publishing 100 essays for a countdown of my favorite shows ever made, it would be positively foolish to not have a category dedicated to the latest happenings in television. Granted, there’ll still be room for my rankings and personal Emmys and true die-hard recommendations. (And the occasional check-in with how the great Marvel experiment on Disney Plooos is progressing. The latest? WandaVision might have turned Wanda Maximoff into a top three MCU character and I hope Sam Wilson becomes Captain America, rather than the guy who used a cop siren to get his attention instead of simply remarking, “Hey, Sam.” So it’s going great over there.) But every now and then, there’s some fun in the television news realm and it deserves our attention here.
The biggest news, of course, is that casting continues on what will be the greatest television show of all-time. If you thought the O.J. show had incredible stunt casting, that’s nothing compared to what Jim Hecht, Max Borenstein, and Adam McKay have concocted for HBO.
A project all about the “Showtime” Lakers of the 1980s is in full development for a 2022 bow now and the cast is unreal. On the court, Quincy Isaiah will play Magic Johnson, Solomon Hughes is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jason Clarke is Jerry West, and Bo Burnham is Larry Bird. This would already be enough for a must-watch, but then McKay had to go get John C. Reilly and Sally Field to play the Busses. But wait. What’s that? You need some coaches, too? How about Jason Segel as Paul Westhead, Michael Chiklis as Red Auerbach, and Adrien Brody as Pat Riley, motherfuckers? I’ve now fully moved on from Travolta’s turn as Shapiro. I need to see Chiklis coach Burnham immediately. Thank you, HBO.
While the “Showtime” show that’s not on Showtime remains a must-see for 2022, there’s still some worthwhile television news if we look to the past. Paramount Plus is, by all accounts, unnecessary. That is, unless you’re the center of the Venn diagram when it comes to Augusta National, Shemar Moore, and old cartoons from MTV. (You’re probably a very silly person, if that’s the case.) Before the streamer is inevitably sold or folded, though, it has become a peachy home to all the great Nickelodeon shows of yore.
Hillenburg desecration aside, Paramount has done the impossible and revived all the classic Nickelodeon game shows in their entirety for the streamer. Yes, this includes Legends of the Hidden Temple. I remember begging my father to burn episodes of that and GUTS to a blank Walmart DVD when they announced they were shuttering NickGAS. I was devastated these game shows would be lost forever. Fortunately, the streaming world is forgiving to the canons and libraries of mega-corporations. But I don’t want to think about whichever CEO named Bob is pulling the strings. I just love that there’s a way to root for the Blue Barracudas again. Always pulling for those Barracudas. If Paramount brings the show back as a new series, I might consider dipping into their waters. The creepy 3-D Rugrats isn’t cutting it so far.
Sports Corner (Threes)
Usually, March is a pretty slow month for sports, but it felt like there was a lot of buzz in the past thirty-one days. One of the big highlights was the NBA All-Star Game, which is still debatable in terms of whether or not it should have been held. But it was and it seemed to go mostly fine (unless you were a 76er), so let’s try to just move on and hope that it’s not up for debate in the future. After all, the All-Star Game format of no clock in the fourth quarter is perfect and would fix every problem I have with basketball if it was implemented into regulation games.
Still, that didn’t stop Team Durant or Team LeBron from chucking up absolute dazzler firework shots. Towards the end of the first half, it became a contest to see which players could drain three-pointers from the furthest distance. Damian Lillard took this mission to heart and kind of just wiped the floor with the memories of how no one will ever be as stone-faced, “talk your shit” as he is. The man backs it up with everything but rings. Sometimes, I feel like he’s the best player in the league. And he was just easily netting threes like these:
Dame Time truly exists outside of any possible conception of reality.
It was also fun to see some Celtics take part in the All-Star festivities, even if the Dunk Contest was devoid of anything truly substantial. (Dwyane Wade killed it forever, possibly.) Jayson Tatum was named a starter and Jaylen Brown nailed down his first appearance. Nikola Vucevic of the Orlando Magic also put up better numbers than his first All-Star appearance and came in second for the Skills Challenge. It was a good time to be a Celtics and Magic fan is what I’m trying to say.
As March progressed, it became less good to be a Celtics and Magic fan. For one, that All-Star appearance for Vucevic would prove to be his last as a member of the Magic. After injuries to Markelle Fultz and Jonathan Isaac plummeted Orlando out of contention, they entered full rebuild mode to trade away Vucevic (their best player since Dwight Howard), Aaron Gordon (their best dunker since Dwight Howard), and Evan Fournier (their best international star since Hedo Turkoglu). As heartbreaking as this may be, I support the move. They’re selling high on guys who wanted out and guys who deserve better for the full rebuild mode. I hope it goes better this time around, but I’ll still miss my sweet rebound boy, Vooch.
Fortunately, though, Fournier was traded in house for my basketball fandom. I still go for the Celtics, too, and he is now a member of the Celtics. Sadly, this was not enough, as Boston later shopped Daniel Theis away. Playing the five, Theis rarely lit up the court, but he was strong and a solid defender. None of the trade deadline deals for Orlando or Boston made either team better, but they’re setting themselves up for success in the future. Of course, NBA futures are also decided by a ping pong lottery (to discourage tanking), but the ceilings are pretty clear here. Long may they thrive in their new cities.
Another player I’m wishing well in their new digs is Nick Markakis, the former MLB outfielder who most notably legged out nine seasons with the Baltimore Orioles. Growing up, my Little League team was the Orioles and my parents took me and my sister to see an Orioles-Red Sox game in Baltimore back in 2009, so I always gravitated towards Markakis as my favorite expatriate player, while Dustin Pedroia obviously occupied the role of hometown hero. How strange that both retired within two months of each other! Pedroia hung it up on February 1 and Markakis waited until the end of March to leave the game. I still have wristbands with both of their jerseys affixed to the label sitting on the desk above me as I type this. They both helped make a baseball fan out of me for life, so I’ll always be grateful. Enjoy your retirement, Nick Markakis. And may the rest of us enjoy this:
The sports world also had some fun in March, though. It wasn’t all tearful farewells! Unless you’re former Boston College basketball player Dennis Clifford. Then, March 2021 was a lovely way to remember his March 2016 postgame interview after the Eagles were bounced from the tournament. C.J. Toledano reminded us all of his surprising press conference.
It’s a very surprising statement. The build-up is so worth it. I’m glad he loved his time in college. Feel those feelings, Clifford. I hope you’re holding up well in a pandemic when no one is going out to eat (or, at least, no one should). We’ve all been there. I miss Momofuku, too.
College basketball players just love to eat out, though. It’s a perk every college student enjoys, I’m sure. I know I liked that aspect of studying for four years. Speaking of “four,” Marco Anthony has a special connection to that number.
The kids are alright.
Unpopped Culture
Travel remains impossible, so I’d rather not explore what’s new on that front. (Disneyland is gearing up for a reopening, so maybe some good news is out there for seeing the world?). The quick service food chains have been toying with the menus as of late, though, so I think that’s worth exploring. I try to be careful with fast food eating, but every now and then, you just gotta try the new item on the menu. I may never go for a McRib, but I’m glad I sought out the Popeye’s chicken sandwich. (I’ll see you next year, Shamrock Shake.)
Let’s run down the latest:
- McDonald’s continues to make progress on the McPlant, which will hopefully open up Beyond Meat to all the fast food chains. They could use the differentiation.
- Wendy’s is betting the (processed) farm on breakfast at the moment, but their most seminal addition has to be the jalapeño popper sandwich. Worth a go one day, I reckon.
- Jalapeños are also present over at Taco Bell, which just tossed three more tacos onto their dollar menu. The Mild Jalapeño Taco is the way to go, though. I don’t get what’s so idyllic about sweating like a Mrs. Puff meme while eating some delicious tacos.
- Honey walnut shrimp has made its way to Panda Express. Yes, Panda Express is American Chinese food and yes, shrimp had a bad month that I will refuse to elaborate on any further. (I will also say nothing more about the Suez Canal, aside from emphasizing that this tweet is the only take that matters.) But that’s a flavor combination that can’t go wrong. You’ll be cooling with Guy Fieri on those bites.
- Additionally, summer must be nearing because Dairy Queen unveiled its new seasonal slate. They’re adding a creamsicle cone and a mint chocolate chip shake to their ice cream menu, while also adding a lemonade slush with mango and lime to the drink menu. I’ve always wondered, though. Dairy Queen is so synonymous with summer. What takes it for winter among the chains?
- Lastly — and most importantly — Dunkin’ Donuts is adding avocado toast to the breakfast menu nationwide. Dunkin’ obviously specializes in breakfast, but this is a clear step up. This is the way to go, man. Condescending memes aside, avocado on the breakfast menu is way better than bacon. I’m still confused why everyone on the Internet fixates on bacon so much. And Keanu Reeves.
Fun of the Month (Funth)
As Katie Nolan (fingers crossed she’ll eventually join Michael Schur and Jemele Hill at Le Batard’s new media adventure) has dubbed March, it was “Third Month Crazy Time.” March Madness used to be the top tournament of the third month, but now, brackets have spread themselves so far across the culture that the Duke Blue Devils seem like a major afterthought. Filmspotting Madness found room for Airplane! in their Best Movie of the 1980s bracket before narrowing down the field to Do the Right Thing and The Shining. Nolan herself dabbled in appetizers, phone apps, places to have a drink, cereals, and sports theme songs with Travis and Christina on Sports? The Blank Check podcast almost ripped itself apart when Gore Verbinski fell by one point to John Carpenter. And Disney’s annual D23 bracket pitted dinosaurs against dragons, which feels like a stretch/way to promote Raya and the Last Dragon.
There was one clear winner for the Best Bracket of March, though. (Maybe we should have a bracket of brackets?) That came courtesy of TCM, of all places, as they created March (Sister) Madness. I might be biased, but my final four was Saoirse, Florence Pugh, Emma Watson, and Eliza Scanlen. Obviously, Saoirse took home the victory. Here’s the full tourney.
It’s really inspired. I’m glad we still have more Little Women movies than we do Hulk movies. It feels right.
As for March 2021’s Meme of the Month, there isn’t really a close second to this champion. It’s the image of Prince Phillip, after his heart surgery, literally appearing as if he’s about to be embalmed by Shirley Crain or if his spirit is about to start waltzing around the ballroom of the Haunted Mansion. I’m still not convinced this man is alive.
Great work all around on this one.
Serious News
This is the category that is much less fun, but necessary for hopefully providing resources to some organizations that might be in need to help make the world a little more as it should be.
- Speaking of the Royal Family, Meghan Markle’s and Prince Harry’s interview with Oprah was one of the major talking points from the month. It’s sad to see parallels in Markle’s story to Othello, a Shakespearean play written four hundred years ago, but that’s where we are. Systemic racism remains a toxin.
- Right now, When We All Vote is doing great work to fight back against the myriad voter suppression bills orchestrated by state governments controlled by Republicans. In short, support Stacey Abrams and not Marjorie Taylor-Greene. The former might just save us all. The latter harasses survivors of school shootings. Greene, Ron DeSantis, Matt Gaetz, Ted Cruz, Lauren Boebert, Madison Cawthorn. These are all dangerous plagues on our world right now and we can’t allow any of them to continue wielding such culture war-based power from their minority positions.
- Also, the hashtag, #StopAsianHate, is a quality, well-intentioned one, but there are some more ways to curb the uptick in hate crimes and acts of domestic terrorism against at the AAPI community. This fundraiser helps put resources in the right places. Karen Chee shared a number of great outlets on Twitter and NBC, too. And as a great post (that I can’t find right now, but if someone knows where it originated, please send it my way) wrote, “Don’t just #StopAsianHate, celebrate Asian love and art and music and beauty and romance.”
In the last stop for Serious News, I want to pay tribute to two legends who died in March. (Many died, but these two were especially significant, I felt.)
One, Jessica Walter, the legendary actor who was best known for playing Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development passed on March 24 at the age of eighty. She was arguably the most gifted performer on the Fox/Netflix series, able to demolish a scene with laughter due to a simple line reading or even just a flick of the corner of her lip. Her work and legacy will so clearly live on for all who love comedy and wickedly talented performers.
Also, Beverly Cleary, the author who wrote The Mouse and the Motorcycle, Ralph S. Mouse, and the Henry Huggins and Ramona series, passed away on March 25 at the age of one hundred and four. That is a solid life right there. I’d only ever read The Mouse and the Motorcycle, but I always appreciate any author who pens such beautiful, transcendent stories that they become a part of the mainstream. Cleary inspired an entire generation to become voracious readers and an impact like that will never truly go away.
The Seventh Octave
This section is called “The Seventh Octave” because I want these monthly columns to go out on a high note! Think of it like the Moment of Zen from The Daily Show. This month, I bring the good news that I’m about to be fully vaccinated, y’all! Please, get the vaccine as soon as you can so we can put this pandemic behind us and get booster shots when we need them going forward. I want to be out in the world again! Don’t you? Let’s all get vaccinated and each subsequent monthly column will be even more optimistic. Yeehaw!
