Mentally Healthy Sex Life During Quarantine
Sex, sex, sex.
When the lockdown began, you probably thought, “Woohoo! My sex life is going to skyrocket! Nothing but sex, sex, and more sex!” And you probably weren’t wrong. A lot of couples, near the beginning of quarantine, did just that. Maybe you noticed you were getting a lot of sex. Now, it seems like the opposite is happening, and you feel drier than sand in a desert.
Those pesky worries of money, not being able to connect with your favorite people, homeschooling (if you have kids), and (surprise) being around your partner 24/7 may be causing less sex than more sex.
Sexual Fulfillment = Happy Couples
There is a correlation between sex and happiness. The more sex you’re getting as a couple, the happier as a couple you’ll tend to be. But there are times you’ll probably be tired, exhausted, and ready to fall into bed at the end of the day to sleep.
That’s understandable.
Getting sex and staying mentally healthy in this time of quarantine will require some of that out-of-the-box thinking you’ve been hearing so much about.
Be Creative
Being sexually fulfilled doesn’t mean there absolutely needs to be penetration or orgasm. Yes, those are definitely nice, but you can be sexually fulfilled as a couple without that. Be creative, and think outside the box!
You can do things like experimentation. Always wanted to try some bedroom roleplay? Do it. Want to try a new sex toy, but don’t know where to start? Look for some sex toy guides. Give sex a new meaning and a new definition, and push yourself outside your comfy zone of comfort. This will help deepen your connection with your partner and will help make any intimate moments amazing.
Schedule It
You may be wrinkling your nose at this one, but stick with this idea for a second.
Scheduling is not just for meetings and appointments. You can schedule a bit of time with your partner for sexy time and sexy connections. Instead of waiting for sudden sexual desire to fall into your lap, scheduling it will give you time to connect sexually, even if it’s something like a sensual shower or massage. If you don’t immediately feel in the mood or don’t immediately fall into bed, that’s cool! It may take a bit of time to feel that desire and that arousal, and it may take some time to get going before you can get in the mood.
Find Other Ways to Bond
Sex is great. But what about those days where you or your partner don’t feel like it?
We get it!
There are other ways to bond, which will, in turn, deepen your connection and lead to awesome times in the bedroom. You can make a nice dinner, open up that bottle of wine you’ve been saving, and watch the latest show on Netflix. You can play a board game or card game together, or you can sit outside on your deck and stargaze. All are ways to bond, and hey, you may come up with some ideas that aren’t listed here!
It’s Okay to Be Grouchy
We’re not always going to be chipper and cheerful, and things in a relationship aren’t always going to be unicorns and sparkles.
We’re human.
We’re going to be tired. We’re going to be grouchy. And sometimes, this might lead to some bickering and overly critiquing. It’s okay! Follow the rule of “don’t go to bed angry”. (And we’re serious. Please don’t go to bed angry.) If you notice yourself getting grouchy and bickering more with your partner, recognize it. Step away for a few minutes if you need to, and then come back and talk about what’s bothering you with your partner. These kinds of talks may not be sexy, but they help with bonding, connections, and your mental health.
Fly Solo
“Know thyself”. That’s a well-known saying from…somebody. And this couldn’t be more true in terms of having a mentally healthy sex life.
You can go all out, browse the internet, and find yourself a great sex toy you can use for your masturbation and solo play. Or, if you’re not quite ready to dive into the vast pool of sex toys, wade into shallower waters and be mindful.
What does that mean?
It means that you take some time to yourself to just breathe and be mindful of your body in the present moment. Be present, be curious, and explore. It may sound New-Agey, but being mindful doesn’t mean clearing your mind of all thoughts. It means acknowledging that you have those thoughts, setting them aside, and focusing on the goal of pleasuring yourself.
The New Normal
Yes, quarantine and social distancing from others is the new normal for the foreseeable future, but it doesn’t mean that your mental health or your sex life has to suffer. You may find out something new and sexy about yourself and find out new ideas about sexy things to try with your partner. You’ll be spending a lot of time together, so go make the most of it!
Image 1: https://unsplash.com/photos/CrbI6xF1vtA
Image 2: https://www.pexels.com/photo/smiling-young-couple-browsing-laptop-together-on-bed-3756461/
