Quickie: How Do People Really Feel About a First Kiss?
It’s not as romantic as you think
If we listen to the media, first kisses in a relationship are a thing of romance, all wrapped up in the bows of hearts, roses, and Cupid’s arrows. But in real life, first kisses can be nothing short of anxiety inducing. In fact, according to Pamela Regan, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Cal State Los Angeles and author of Close Relationships*, it’s common for people to feel incredibly nervous before a first kiss, no matter how excited they are about a potential partner.
“Basically, everyone approaches their first kiss with something akin to dread,” she said. “Anxiety, tension, embarrassment, a little bit of anticipation, and a lot of fear.”
In her research, Regan asked how people felt before, during, and after a first kiss with their partner. While respondents universally felt anxious before their first kiss, there were differences in how they felt during the kiss and after their lips had unlocked. Generally, men reported being happy about the experience, while women tended to be disappointed with the kissing.
“If you’re not the initiator, you’re more likely to be disappointed….”
