Can We Learn How to Be More Dominant or Submissive in Bed?
Are our kinks and sexual roles inherent, or can they be adopted?
I’ve been thinking about this question, and this article, multiple times over the last months, and for a while, my answer was leaning in a negative direction:
—No, you can’t! Our sexualities are inborn, and much like our sexual orientations, they don’t change much.
I’ve written about how to be a good Dominant or a submissive myself, but always with the assumption that the person already identified as such. When I’ve come across articles by fellow sex writers with titles like: “How to be more dominant in bed”, I’d silently shake my head:
—Not possible! You either are or you aren’t.
Recent developments among friends, mixed with some personal epiphanies, have led me to reevaluate my stance.
I always assumed that our kinks and fetishes—the sexual personas and roles that often surface in us when we start playing with BDSM dynamics—to be rooted in natural leanings that spring from a mixture of factors influenced by both nature and nurture.
I believed that once we pulled back that curtain, it was all, more or less, out in the open for us to discover.
