How-To Tips and Tricks
Enjoy a Derrière Eating: Any Time & Any Way
The Arousing and Relaxing Benefits of Analingus
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There was a time when I was younger and less wise that I never would have imagined receiving pleasure from someone doing anything to my derrière, especially with his or her mouth, but alas, taboos get old, bedrooms need reinvigorating, and the landscape of our bodies demands exploration.
Maybe you have tried anal penetration one too many times for your own liking, so you made your behind off-limits; but don’t put baby in the corner just yet, because sexual exploration brings new life to this erogenous zone.
Grant your body the permission to receive a treat in the derrière— yes, I am talking about a rim job! The experience is a great addition to foreplay, during play, or even after play.
A rim job is a gateway to relaxation and arousal as anytime play with variations in sex positions to explore.
What is a Rim Job?
A rim job, analingus, or “tossing salads” as Nicki Minaj sings, is when a tongue is used to massage the area inside or around the anal sphincter. Then again, there is no right or wrong way to eat ass and worship the derrière, so I encourage you and your partner to make it your own.
That’s why the term ass eating is a lot more all-encompassing, as similar to going down on a woman, there is no right or wrong way to do it.
If having a tongue inside your derrière isn’t enjoyable, there is so much that can still be explored, as a rim job includes so many alternative possibilities:
Kisses:
- Tender kisses can heighten relaxation and arousal either on, in, or around the anal sphincter, not to mention the rest of the buns.
Licks and Flicks:
- Similarly, both licks and flicks can be used to stimulate arousal and relaxation in, on, or around the derrière.
Erotic Massage:
- This experience can be coupled with an erotic massage of your cheeks; there is a lot of tension kept in there.
Now that you are familiar with some of the ways a bottom can be pleasured, let us consider the benefits, as well as the variations of this experience.
Let Go of Shame to Reap the Benefits
There is a lot of shame associated with giving or receiving pleasure. You can give yourself permission to receive pleasure from a good ass eating by letting go of shame. In Jill Hamilton’s Cosmopolitan article on rimming, she explores how, sex expert, Erika Lust, the feminist erotic filmmaker, says,
Rimming can be a really amazing and intense experience […] There is nothing gross, abnormal, or unsafe about it if you do it right. We hold so much shame about certain body parts, including our butt, but there is absolutely no reason to. Just relax and enjoy.
Surely, one can make the experience more enjoyable and hygienic for all, if this is your concern. A simple wash before engaging in this experience can take care of insecurities. Some, perhaps, may want to consider hair removal, if that’s your bag. Essentially, do what is needed to make yourself more comfortable to receive pleasure from analingus.
The Relaxing and Arousing Benefits are Worth It
Allowing yourself to receive pleasure from analingus has many benefits, from priming yourself for more play to escalating the orgasmic experience, whether used in tandem with vaginal pleasure or not.
According to Lyndsay Geller’s article in Women’s Health, “there are a lot of erotic nerve endings in the anus, so people can really find themselves having a different, better orgasm from rimming,” says Joe Kort, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist in Royal Oak, Michigan. Plus, “you can even get more aroused than usual because the area’s typically unexplored,” he adds.
If having different or better orgasms isn’t reason enough to try something new, then I do not know what is. If you are a beginner, exploration and comfort are key to embracing this tasty treat. On the other hand, if you’re better versed in receiving analingus, then exploring how to use it to increase the orgasmic experience is something you may want to explore.
Geller goes on to explain how both Kimberly McBride, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, and Kort agree that orgasm without penetration from analingus is totally possible, and it can make a vaginal orgasm more intense.
Derrière Worshipping is Good Anytime and Any Way
When it comes to giving rim jobs there is not only no right or wrong way to receive, but there is no right or wrong time to indulge. A rim job can be enjoyed as foreplay, during play, or after play. If used as foreplay it alleviates stress and heightens arousal.
While when explored during play, analingus can be used in tandem with vaginal or clitoral stimulation to intensify orgasm. Alternatively, if you haven't had enough and you crave a little more, why not explore the relaxing benefits of a good ass eating after intercourse?
While there is no right or wrong time or way to indulge in this tasty treat, as there are so many erogenous zones to explore, there are also several positions to try. In Cosmopolitan, Jill Hamilton outlines the various sex positions that can be explored:
The Rim Shot:
- The receiver lies back with their knees bent up toward their chest, which is a good position for beginners.
The Private Tour:
- Another good position for beginners is when the receiver lies down on his or her stomach (a pillow can also be used to prop up the hips).
The Deep Sea Diver:
- The receiver can stand up, holding on to the wall if needed, and the other person can crouch down behind them. Lust, suggests that this is a good alternative for those concerned with the cleanliness of the experience, as it can be done in the shower.
The Bend and Tap
- One person stands on the floor and bends over a bed or a chair, and the other kneels behind them. This position is built for comfort since the receiver can lean on something. In addition, “It also lends itself well to sensual spanking,” says sex and relationship coach Charlie Glickman.
The Rainy Trumpet
- This is for those who are ready to move beyond the tongue and mouth to the intermittent use of finger play, or perhaps leading to toy play, for those who are so inclined.
Takeaways
Grant yourself the permission to receive pleasure from a rim job by exploring the variations to discover what you like or do not like. Perhaps you only want to explore exterior play, or maybe you are only open to interior play. One may also discover he or she only likes it as foreplay, or that fingering and toys are eventually more interesting to them.
Anything goes and at any time.
But you’re not going to find out what rocks your butt if you're not willing to explore. While anal sex is something that many women love or hate, I think that a good ass eating can welcome a happy medium and bring more derrière worshipping into the bedroom.
Lindsay Soberano-Wilson is the editor of Put It To Rest. Casa de mi Corazón: A Travel Journal of Poetry & Memoir is available at lindsaysoberano.com. Find her on Medium, Instagram, or Twitter. Lindsay Soberano-Wilson©2021.
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