If I Was to Give You the Best Blowjob
I’d do a little sumpin’ like this…
—Blowjobs are like pizza. Even when it’s bad, it’s still good.
I’ve run into this saying a few times lately, and it’s made me think. I don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a blowjob, but I do know what it’s like to eat sub-par pizza.
When I was younger, I gladly ate any random pizza. I was often tipsy when eating it anyway; hungry after a night out at some bar, I picked up whatever I could find on the way home.
These days, mediocre pizza doesn’t appeal to me. I mean, it is ok, but I’d rather have pizza less often, and save myself (aka the calories) for when I can indulge in the very best of the best; proper, stone-oven baked, Neopolitan pizza.
If you’ve read my writing, you might know that I’m not a believer in overly specific sex tips telling you that “this is the only or ultimate way to do so-and-so”. But then again, there are certain things that can be done to elevate a pizza from meh to magnificent.
Ok, back to the BJ, if I was to cook up one of my best, I imagine I’d do something like this:
I might sneak up on you as you’re resting, face down on the bed after a shower. Then, approaching you from behind, I’d get down on all fours and trace my…
