The Talk That Ended Our Marriage
Trying to save a 14-year relationship for years, and finally breaking up
No one can say I didn’t try.
Well, except my husband. My soon-to-be-ex-husband, I mean. He accused me of not trying to save our relationship. He said it to me a little over a month ago, when he started a conversation I wasn’t expecting.
To be clear, I wasn’t expecting it that day. But it was one we needed to have, so in the end it wasn’t all that surprising. We were finally having the talk I’d been dreading. The big, bad “adult break-up” talk. The Divorce Conversation, if you will.
After being his biggest supporter and caring for him in every way I could, as much as I could, for more than a decade — hearing him say that I wasn’t trying cut deep.
We were mostly platonic these past two years. After discovering his devastating emotional affair, working through couple’s therapy, and even exploring consensual non-monogamy together — I knew I’d stayed and tried longer than I should have. Longer than was good for either of us.
During our difficult moments over the years, I tried my best to talk things through with him. To come up with new solutions. To make him happy and help him understand what I needed from a loving partner in order to be happy.
