5 Things I Learned Writing Porn Descriptions
It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it
Many moons ago, I had a gig where I was writing descriptions of porn scenes, giving a blow by blow of the action that viewers could expect to see — and perhaps giving them more masturbation material in the process. I recently read Greyson Ferguson’s story about how he wrote profiles for escorts and it brought back all kinds of memories — which made me rummage through old files to reminisce about the work I did — and I realized I had some war stories of my own to tell, and I learned some important lessons from that experience.
At the end of the day, how many ways can you really describe a blow job?
1. I mostly find porn boring.
I’m not saying I never watch porn. Far from it. I have turned to porn for a little inspiration in the bedroom or at the keyboard when I’m writing erotica. But watching porn when I’m not already horny, or writing about fictional people who are horny, is like watching paint dry for me. Since I had a job to do and my mind wasn’t on sex for pleasure, it really honed in on the details of what I was watching, just as I would with any other movie — and the critic in me found plenty of problems. Bad lighting, boring sex, ridiculous…
