Am I Obsessed With Making More Money?

My relentless pursuit for a higher salary is due to a good reason.

Source: Zachary Kadolph via Unsplash

I consider myself braver than the average person.

Every year since high school has been a series of scary choices on a small to grand scale. I can’t imagine operating any other way.

I’ve pursued a career in the arts, in New York City, without a single connection or idea about how to go about it. I’ve met countless internet friends in real life (hi to my shame[less] co-founder Miranda!) and ask strangers on Linkedin if they’d be up for a chat on a near daily basis. I’ve moved to London pre-smart phone (!!) for a year with a total of two suitcases and moved to Delaware for a new job without ever visiting the state…

And yet, talking about money on the internet, particularly in regard to student loans, is especially terrifying. I’ve had enough experiences of judgment from strangers and friends alike that the topic has been largely off limits.

But when Miranda shared with me the advice she received from a financial consultation, she validated a long standing hunch I had and have been inconspicuously working toward.

The best solution to paying off students loans is to simply make more money.

So simple! So easy! So obvious!

The Start of My Salary Pursuit

A couple years ago, I decided to start making significant changes to work toward achieving a higher income. For a decade I worked in the arts education non-profit space and felt passionately about my work, but like many at small non-profit orgs there is quickly no professional or financial growth potential. And beyond that, I felt constantly vulnerable in my job.

Part of the vulnerability was due to the nature of working at an organization dependent on funding and donations, and an even bigger part was wrapped into my inability to advocate for the change I wanted to make.

Despite my (considerable) privilege as a white woman from a middle class upbringing, I did not feel I could adequately address or illuminate inequities or bad behavior happening directly to me or to others. I literally couldn’t afford to push back in any way that might risk my job. In this instance I couldn’t be brave because I couldn’t afford a month of unemployment.

The sum of my monthly student loan payments are more than my rent (believe it!), and I certainly didn’t have six months of an emergency fund saved up. This situation was not sustainable on many levels.

So I took action to figure out where else my passions could take me and garner me higher earning potential.

Completely Changing Direction

I started telling everyone I knew that I was pursuing a change and vaguely knew that technology and philanthropy interested me. Friends connected me to other friends and cousins and college classmates so I could conduct dozens of informational conversations. Once I knew that I wanted to focus on tech, I started the hard work of assessing my skills, revising my resume, hiring a career coach to prepare me to speak with recruiters and hiring managers, and figuring out what I really wanted in a new career pathway.

At the top of my requirements for a new job was, you guessed it, more money.

Now, this is of course, not to discount that I also wanted to work at a large organization where resources were more accessible or that I wanted awesome colleagues from whom I could learn and collaborate and possibly business travel as a bonus feature.

When I saw the job posting for my current job, I just knew it was my job. I never had that feeling before and will likely never experience it again. It was less luck and more preparation and practice that aligned with the right opportunity. I got the job and also got an immediate $20K salary bump! I think $15–20K is the range of salary raise that begins to significantly impact your quality of life. And it did! I could cover all my expenses and didn’t need support from my parents to make my monthly loan payments (I share this in full transparency and the spirit of the intentions of shame[less]).

I also had to be brave once again and move to Delaware which of course rebalanced my finances and personal life. The trade off for a lower cost of living and new fantastic job opportunity was the high cost of my friends and everything that New York City has to offer.

Confronting My New Identity

During this huge life transition I experienced a lot of perceived and self-imposed judgment. I let go of a friend who made me feel judged for caring about my new salary and I walked away from a car salesman who made a big deal out of student loans while running a credit check. But the biggest judgement of all came from myself. My identity was incredibly wrapped up in working in the arts and being a New Yorker. It felt devastating to let that go despite all that I was gaining.

Here I am 2.5 years later, feeling stronger, but occasionally wobbly about my geographical identity and fully relaxed into my current career. For the first time I am working in a positive, non-toxic environment and have many brilliant colleagues who support me and continually inspire me to rise to their level. I got to travel a lot pre-COVID and stay at hotels specifically chosen because of the Peloton in their gym (shout out to Kimptons).

Most importantly, I feel passionately about the work that my team does and the programs that I manage. Our programs inspire and inform K-12 students about career pathways within technology, and we specifically target students who wouldn’t otherwise be exposed to these types of opportunities. Instead of using the arts to illuminate social issues and bring together communities, I am now using technology. I feel very fortunate to have landed in this space.

What Lies Ahead

I can identify all these positive attributes and still know that I need to be earning more money. I’m just covering my bills, not building wealth or savings. I am researching robo-investing services for the very first time only because I haven’t paid rent for a few months while I ride out the pandemic at my parents’ house. It took a pandemic for me to accrue even meager savings! That is certainly not a long term financial plan.

In the meantime, I am doing the work. I’ve been growing my professional network and having many wonderful conversations with people doing work that I admire and people who are also considering big career changes. I know that I pursue financial security with an intensity that is likely too much for other people and I expect further judgment about it. But that judgment really none of my business and in collaborating with Miranda, I have decided to no longer let the shame run my daily thoughts.

And so once again, I will be brave.

I will relentlessly pursue financial independence and connect with new people who can empathize and relate and inspire me.

I’ll say it again and I’ll say it loud. I want to make more money.