I’m In The Doghouse And It Could Use Some Refurbishing
Look, I understand your feelings have made you mad. Now you aren’t talking to me because you believe I’ve played some part in what your feelings did. I get it, I’m in the “doghouse.”
And I just want to say, I’m sorry—your doghouse is pretty bad.
Hold on a second. I’m not saying this is your fault. What I’m saying is, I’m going to be the bigger person here, I want to, that is, but your doghouse is not only poorly built, it’s very small. Too small.
Why did you build it this way?
Listen, God knows we all make mistakes, and I know you feel I’ve made one, but just look how this thing leans to the left. Maybe it is not I who should be seeking forgiveness??
I don’t understand why you’re putting up walls around you when you’re unwilling to properly put them up around me? What are these things? Hooks or something? I do not like your creative choices at all.
Let’s just forget about the doghouse for a moment. Please. Like I can’t even think about it without getting a little upset. Structure-wise it looks like no thought was put into it. I’m not an architect, but even I can see it’s off. What shape is it supposed to be? Thick hamburger patty?
Can’t we just be adults about this and bury the hatchet? There’s a huge gaping hole here in the floor where I’m sure it’d fit.
Okay, okay, I can appreciate you don’t want to have to tell me why you’re mad at me. You want me to know. Like I want to know what were you thinking with this porch area? Did you have some sort of plan or did you just hammer as hard as you could and hope a house would appear?
Let’s patch things up. No, this isn’t a joke about mending the roof. I swear. Nothing I could think of would be as laughable as this roof.
What? You think I’m making things worse? Worse than what you made? I guess you might be right. I’m just digging myself deeper and deeper, subconsciously compensating for how shallow you dug the foundation.
Whoa. Timeout. You know what? I love you. This is silly. Can we just start over? Seriously, I think you’d have a better chance at making something you’re proud of if you just knock this one down and start fresh.
Splitting up? And you’re taking the dog?
Go ahead. Take the dog. You’d be doing him a favor. No dog should be subjected to these living conditions.
Wait, don’t go. I’m sorry. Genuinely. And I love your birdhouse! Except for the entrance, which I think is a little off, no?
