Luke Roloff – Medium

Luke Roloff

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

My March Madness Was Freakin’ Insane This Year, And Also A Little Bit Lonely!

Who are you rooting for? What’s your phone number?

Mar 28

My March Madness Was Freakin’ Insane This Year, And Also A Little Bit Lonely!

Mar 28

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

An Intervention With My Algorithm

It’s okay, Algorithm. This is a safe place. Please, take a seat.

Jan 2

An Intervention With My Algorithm

Jan 2

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

How To Go Hiking And Clear Your Mind

Congratulations! You’ve chosen to wander around on the side of a hill, because you recognize the health benefits of clearing your mind…

May 17, 2023

How To Go Hiking And Clear Your Mind

May 17, 2023

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

Pinocchio Explains To His Insurance Company That He’s Not Lying About Needing Nose Surgery

Okay, let’s try this again. My name is Pinocchio. And my surgeon has provided your office with the documentation establishing “medical…

Apr 15, 2023

Pinocchio Explains To His Insurance Company That He’s Not Lying About Needing Nose Surgery

Apr 15, 2023

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls, Please Stick To The Introverted And Reclusive Lifestyle That You’re…

Don’t go chasing waterfalls / Please stick to bathing once every three days that you’re now used to / I know you’re gonna have it your way…

Feb 28, 2023

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls, Please Stick To The Introverted And Reclusive Lifestyle That You’re…

Feb 28, 2023

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

The Big Halftime Speech After Your Team Writes A Terrible First Draft

Coach comes storming into the locker room in a fit of rage. He grabs a chair and tosses it across the room. Then snaps a MacBook Pro over…

Mar 26, 2022

The Big Halftime Speech After Your Team Writes A Terrible First Draft

Mar 26, 2022

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

Memento-Style Reminder Tattoos But For Navigating Dirty Dishes

HOMECOOKED FOOD IS NICE TO EAT

Mar 23, 2022

Memento-Style Reminder Tattoos But For Navigating Dirty Dishes

Mar 23, 2022

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

I’m In The Doghouse And It Could Use Some Refurbishing

Look, I understand your feelings have made you mad. Now you aren’t talking to me because you believe I’ve played some part in what your…

Jul 8, 2021

I’m In The Doghouse And It Could Use Some Refurbishing

Jul 8, 2021

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

The Wild West Just Got A Whole Heck Of A Lot Wilder Now That NFTs Are In Town

Judas steer. I must say, it’s beena rootin’ tootin’ rowdy time out here in the wild west. Well, with the gold rush n all. Not to mention…

Mar 19, 2021

The Wild West Just Got A Whole Heck Of A Lot Wilder Now That NFTs Are In Town

Mar 19, 2021

Luke Roloff
in
Slackjaw

What’s In Your Wallet, Honey Bunny?

As PUMPKIN stands mired in the spell of 0% interest for 24 months, JULES snatches his arm, and now holds him at gunpoint.

Mar 7, 2021

What’s In Your Wallet, Honey Bunny?

Mar 7, 2021

Luke Roloff

Luke Roloff

Luke is currently one of the people in LA. His writing has appeared in Sports Illustrated, McSweeney’s and The American Bystander. More at Lukeroloff.com

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