Chemotherapy

What it’s like to be a recent breast cancer survivor (hint: it’s a total shit show)

I’m now just about three months out from my last chemo, and almost two from my double mastectomy. I have another surgery in mid July, for reconstructive purposes, which will hopefully be…

Maybe (some musings from Chemo Holly)

We all know the sayings: Everything happens for a reason! Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans! If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans!

Committing to My Survival

My body didn’t respond well to the new chemo drug; I experienced the hard way how it got its nickname of “the red devil.” The day of treatment, when it was over, I had to be wheel chaired out to the car because I couldn’t stand, my boyfriend had to carry me into the apartment, and I…

The Upswing, and getting ready for the new round of healing.

I can’t always be the positive girl. Sometimes, I go to the dark place. I have to, because those are the emotions I am experiencing. And I refuse to suppress my emotions. Doing so creates its own kind of cancer. Getting bad…

I Am A Failure

When I first got diagnosed, before doing the MRI or even speaking to an oncologist, the breast doctor who found the cancer told me I’d need 4–6 chemos. All I heard was 4. I’d be doing 4, thank very much. My cancer would be annihilated in 4, I could get the mastectomy done, the final implant exchange…

Please Stop Telling Me That Turmeric, or Love, or (Fill in the Blank) Will Cure My Cancer… because I used to believe it would too.

Since my diagnosis, I’ve had people come to me in ways that may have intended to be from love, or…

Meet Chemo Holly (let me tell you, she’s a peach.)

Twice now, there’s this girl who has shown up for about 7 days. I’m anticipating that she’ll visit 2–4 more times. I expected her to be tired, not feel well, have low energy, and have weird things going on with her body, but I didn’t expect the emotional and psychological…

Hair, Hair Everywhere

After my first chemo, I had two rough days where I couldn’t really get out of bed, but I bounced back very quickly, and apart from an early morning ER trip on day 5, getting tired easily, and having the world’s longest and strangest period (which will most likely be the last one for a long…

Today.

I woke up this morning and cuddled up to my boyfriend’s back, wanting my entire chest to be surrounded by its warmth, like on so many mornings. I woke up this morning and made my cup of organic coffee with coconut creamer and a splash of the good sugary stuff, like I have every morning for who knows how many…