Finding Strength Within: 5 Practical Tips to Help Navigate Life’s Low Points
We’ve been hearing of many suicide cases. While not all are celebrities, the suicide cases that come into the fore are those whose lives have been viewed through a public lens.
So, recently, when my daughter came to me visibly upset that her favorite character Chandler Bing aka Matthew Perry, from the sitcom Friends, was no more, I knew she wanted to talk to me about the issue.
Her young mind was wondering — “Why do so many stars end their life early? Despite having everything going for them, why do they take such a drastic step?”
As a father I wanted to give her some reasonable answers, and my mind started pondering upon what the real issue could have been.
It’s easy to blame the person and his addiction. But, what drives them to it, what is the root cause of the addiction? As a society, we should think about these issues and debate them so that the next generation can make more aware choices for their lives.
Stars are called stars because they have achieved what the rest of us haven’t and that too at a young age. While this makes them stars in our eyes, it also makes them more vulnerable to the ups and downs of the journey.
They may be more talented, enlightened, and accomplished, but they are also more susceptible to crack at the smallest personal or professional disappointment.
They are unable to balance the highs with the lows or, they may only want highs as they cannot handle the lows. This often leads to excesses of sorts, even substance abuse and addictions.
Further, the paparazzi and their fans are not forgiving of their failures, and the guilt, shame and fear of not doing well makes fame a difficult cross for them to bear.
This makes celebrities experience a seesaw of emotions that constantly swing up and down. Sometimes, it may seem to them like nothing is going to work — not rehab, nor medication — and they may wish for an absolute end of all suffering, thoughts of suicide then set in.
This happens to common people too, who don’t live as per the diktats of society. The people that laughed with you once may at some point become the people who laugh at you. It is at those times, that one can go into depression and experience psychological ailments.
I too have felt similarly during low phases in my life. Hence I relate to people who have taken such a drastic step. I am no celebrity but I feel what they must be going through as I have experienced similar issues…perhaps on a much smaller scale.
As a regular individual facing life’s challenges, I have experienced moments of deep emotional struggle and contemplation. During these times, it became a challenge to maintain a balance between what felt genuine and what seemed distorted. I found myself becoming detached from “reality,” and what I perceived as normal appeared unconventional to those around me.
If a normal human being like me struggles with the perception of people around you, imagine how hard it must be for a star with worldwide fame! For them it is real and present as they are scrutinized for every move.
Post COVID, I experienced a range of highs and lows, and sometimes sought solace in external coping mechanisms.
However, the essence lies in finding that internal equilibrium, about reaching a point where you no longer rely on crutches such as societal approval or external substances. Simply being comfortable in your own company is enough.
Had I not harnessed the spiritual tools I had learned, I would not have been able to ride through that period of my life. My practices like meditation, yoga and chanting deeply benefitted me. They helped me balance my emotions and energies, and cope better with the turbulences of the mind.
The key is to become more conscious of not slipping back into those patterns and to utilize the tools of spirituality to pull oneself out of it once again.
Shrinks or therapists may help but they tend to be a short-term solution, and a crutch like any other. What’s important is to create a strong foundation within by harnessing several tools.
Here are some of the tools I used to embrace a new way of life. Feel free to share your own coping devices with our readers.
1. Yoga and Meditation
Often I used to travel for spiritual retreats that included yoga and meditation. As this reduced during COVID, my practices reduced too, making me complacent and listless. Letting go of my practices created an imbalance within, and I leaned on external solutions instead. I quickly realized my mistake and restarted my practices to strike the balance within.
2. Reading Books
Sometimes books can deeply impact your life journey, and hence the reading practice must be on. During my low phase, I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson which essentially tells you how to overcome what people say about you.
When you let go of the opinion of others and focus on your path, you go through your life journey effortlessly. After reading the book, I slowly regained my confidence and focused on my life, rather than what others had to say about it.
3. Following My Passion
One must keep pursuing what one loves doing most. My industry was hit hard during COVID and work was at an all-time low. This de-motivated me initially, but, then I realized I should work on what I can.
So, I started blogging more and even started some online webinars to connect with people. This gave me a clear focus and kept me away from unnecessary indulgences.
4. Overcoming Fear
Very often our fear of failure or rejection discourages us from following our true calling. We also fear ridicule from our peers. I felt a sense of rejection when the same friends I used to hang out with once and who praised me for my blogs, had started mocking my lifestyle when I had no work.
No one bothered asking what I was going through. Only a few people reached out to help, and I realized those are my true friends. With encouragement from true well-wishers and strength from my spiritual practices, I regrouped my energies and restarted my clothing brand.
5. Blaming No One and Being Grateful
Blaming others doesn’t get you anywhere. So, either ignore those who have wronged you or cut them out of your life. People will not change, you have to change. They need someone to point fingers at, to hide their own shortcomings. Instead of blaming them or trying to change them, work on yourself, and take responsibility for your actions.
Also, be around loved ones and gain positive energy from their company. I’m grateful to my family who helped me move ahead. I’m also thankful for being alive and enjoying this wonderful life with spiritual balance and joy.
When you follow a daily practice and pursue your passion on a regular basis, you slowly learn how to distance yourself from the drama of life, and get a bird’s eye view of what’s happening. This helps you wade through any storm with ease.
As for giving my daughter an answer, I told her — “There may be various reasons why one chooses not to live anymore, and we cannot control their thoughts and actions. But, we can lend a listening ear or shoulder to cry on to those struggling, and try to show them the silver lining in life!”
She understood, gave me a hug, and went to sleep.
As a SoulDad, my goal is to support families on their path of spiritual and individual growth. I achieve this by sharing my own experiences and encouraging others to do the same through leaving comments or creating their own blogs about their journey.
Additionally, here’s a list of my past blogs that may help you help your child grow and evolve in these changing but still delightful times
Navigating Separation and Divorce: Tips and Insights from My Personal Journey
Creating a Foundation for Spiritual Success: Steps to Take Before Embarking on Your Journey
Transforming Gossip into Growth
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