Suicide is About Wanting to Live

odawni
Speaking Bipolar
Published in
3 min readMar 28, 2024

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The Paradox of Suicidal Thinking

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Image created with Picsart by author.

If you’ve never experienced suicidal thinking, the idea of wanting to end your life seems extreme. It is.

It’s extremely painful to wrestle with a brain screaming at you that you’re better off dead.

There is a devastating misconception that people considering suicide are visually identifiable. You don’t need to appear sad or distraught while experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Some move through life seeming perfectly fine. They may smile and laugh. They may be popular in school, earn degrees and get work promotions. They may have nice houses, great families and supportive friends.

They can have all of these things and also be dealing with obtrusive negative thoughts that are so painful to carry that it feels like the only way to stop their thoughts is to not be alive.

People who don’t understand what it’s like living with suicidal thoughts may think, “Is life really that bad?”

Yes. For some, life really is that bad. It’s unbearable.

They may think they’re supportive when they say things like, “You have so much going for you and so much to be thankful for! Try to focus on the positives.”

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odawni
Speaking Bipolar

I’m a Filipina-American mental health writer and toddler mom. I mostly focus on suicide, depression and living with bipolar disorder. @bipolar.brained on IG.