Bipolar Life
When I Need to Feel Again, I Turn to Music
The songs that never fail to touch my heart.
Lying on my back on the brown berber carpet, I stare at the wall of candles burning in front of me.
A rounded-top, cast-iron room divider with leafy vines supporting 18 clear-glass votive holders stands over me, just a few inches from my feet. I think about how rarely I light the unscented white tea lights filling each holder and get up and light them all.
My mind marvels at how much light comes from 18 candles, so I turn off the stained-glass floor lamp in the corner.
I’ve been feeling numb.
Days go by, but I feel disconnected from them. I’m in the throes of bipolar blur, and I’m sick of it.
I lie back down on the floor and watch the flames of the candles dance, each one creating shifting shadows around the room. I need to feel, and I know music is the solution.
“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” — Bob Marley
Music thrives with sad songs
Among my dozens of playlists, I have one dedicated to sad songs I can count on to always reach my heart.
