Is Submission an Excuse to Be Lazy in Bed?
The active role of the ‘passive’ part in a D/s dynamic
The top or dominant calls the shots and leads their bottom or submissive through a scene. But what the heck does the submissive do?
Do they just lie there? Do they simply take it? Do they blindly follow orders with no agency of their own? Is submission just an excuse for being lazy and complacent in bed?
If you’ve never been part of a D/s dynamic yourself, you might be thinking along those lines. Sure, the dominant is likely to do the more obvious pushing and shoving, but if you believe submission to be a passive act, you’ll have to think again.
Circlusion and penetration
Akin to how penetration is viewed as active while receiving it is inaccurately seen as passive, domination and submission suffers from the same imputation.
In my recent article about circlusion, I discuss this wonderful term proposed by writer Bini Adamczak as an antonym to penetration and argue that absorption; taking in a penis (or a dildo) is, in fact, both powerful and empowering:
Making and holding space, receiving, and accommodating may not appear active from the look of them, especially not if we use synonyms like pushing, forceful, or…
