Trump Appeals to Tech Voters by Promising to “Make JavaScript Great Again”
NEW YORK — White House Press Secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, announced Wednesday afternoon President Trump’s plan to appeal to suburban tech voters in the coming election. Trump’s campaign announced that they would again be changing their slogan to “Make JavaScript Great Again” while unveiling their plan to do so.
“I’ve done MORE for the JavaScript community in the past four years than ANYONE, except (maybe) Brendan Eich.” — Trump
“The people in charge of @ECMAScript have RUINED the language for TOO long. I’ve done MORE for the JavaScript community in the past four years than ANYONE, except (maybe) Brendan Eich. SAD,” Trump tweeted following the announcement.
Trump has repeatedly said that he is the only candidate who can fix the problems ailing JavaScript. Recently, in an interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, the President boasted about his perfect score on a JavaScript assessment, saying that his opponent, “ReferenceError Joe,” could not pass the test. Wallace pushed back claiming that the test merely required a FizzBuzz implementation — however, Trump claimed the test required the difficult memoization of the string “man,woman,person,camera,TV.”
Trump’s proposal includes adding more functional features to JavaScript and syntactic sugar to make development more fun. Critics, however, point to the President’s lack of support for functional programming. In a recent debate, Wallace asked President Trump if he would denounce mutable, imperative style code, while Trump failed to do so — leading many FORTRAN programmers to rejoice.
In addition, many Democrats have denounced Trump’s programming acumen, using the recent release of Trump’s commit history by The New York Times as proof. In 2016 and 2017, the President’s commit history shows over 750 lines of code with linting errors as well as 0% code coverage on many modules. During a news conference on Sunday, Trump called the report “completely fake,” saying “I wrote a lot and I wrote a lot of full integration tests, too.”
President Trump’s opponent and former Vice President, Joe Biden, also revealed his plan for the Tech community on Wednesday. Biden’s plan includes embracing TypeScript as well as rehauling JavaScript imports and exports.
Although progressive, the plan acts as a conservative foil to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s ECMAScript proposals. Indeed, Ocasio-Cortez, a Prolog programmer who recently joined the JavaScript community has attacked Biden, causing uproar in the declarative programming community. These criticisms coupled with President Trump’s barrage of attacks on Biden have many Democrats worried — with President Trump recently tweeting “ReferenceError Joe and Undefined-Is-Not-An-Object Kamala have NEVER respected the language,” adding “ReferenceError Joe and Memory-Leak Hillary invented the with statement.” ♦
