Big Bear Part 2: When the Plan Falls Apart
This story was written while lying on a bed in Big Bear, California.
None of this was in the plan.
The plan, originally, was to celebrate our 10 year anniversary with a two-week trip to China — a long, international trip to a place we’ve both wanted to visit for a long time. The plan was made and the trip was booked in November 2018, a full year and few months before our actual 10 year anniversary.
And then, well, you know what happened: COVID-19. The China trip has been rescheduled, which is fine really because health and safety are more important than sticking to a plan. But if there’s one thing I like to pride myself on it’s making plans and sticking to them, so this was certainly a new feeling for me.
Anyways, a new plan was formed: we would celebrate our 10 year anniversary with a weekend getaway to Big Bear, a trip that was a lot less extravagant but much more manageable.
If you’ve read my previous blog post about Big Bear you’ll know that this is a special place not only for my relationship with Orlando, but also for my love of grilled cheese. A quick recap: in 2016, I found a restaurant that served one of my favorite grilled cheese sandwiches I’d ever tasted, and in 2019 the restaurant completely changed and I was thrown for a loop.
Before driving up to Big Bear this weekend, I had decided not to try a new grilled cheese sandwich. My research wasn’t coming up with any great results and I figured that I had already written one post about Big Bear and there was no need to do something just for the sake of doing it. Given the fact that you’re currently reading my blog post, however, that obviously didn’t go to plan.
And, really, lots of things didn’t go to plan during this trip.
Two of the only things we had planned for this weekend fell apart pretty quickly. A trail we wanted to hike was covered in snow and we were utterly unprepared. Additionally, we wanted to kayak without realizing that kayaking wasn’t available until mid-May. (I blame both of these oversights on the fact that we live in San Diego and forget that weather, you know, exists).
Normally, we visit Big Bear during the weekend and this time we were here mostly on a Monday. Multiple food places that we were excited to re-visit or try for the first time were consistently closed on Mondays and Tuesdays.
To make up for the kayaking, we tried to go to a movie only to have that plan change thanks to my horrible stomach problems.
However, thanks to all these changing plans, a wonderful thing happened: I found a new (favorite?) grilled cheese sandwich. A deli we wanted to try was completely closed down so we found a new one called Mountain Munchies. There, at the bottom of the menu, was a grilled cheese sandwich.
This sandwich was so different from my usual. I was enticed by the possibility of re-experiencing a classic sandwich from my youth: a ham sandwich with melted Swiss. (Note: I LOVED these sandwiches from Arby’s when I was young.) (Second note: I’m vegetarian 95% of the time but sometimes indulge in meat-eating when I’m on vacation).
This sandwich was unexpected, unplanned, and absolutely incredible. I savored every bite in a way I’m not sure I would have if I had been expecting to eat it all along.
I’m a planner to my core but even I am learning to relax a little bit. This was our fourth trip to Big Bear and, weirdly enough, I’m now starting to see a lot of similarities between journeys to Big Bear and a 10 year relationship. Both are comfortable and familiar, and both fill me with a mix of excitement and wonder. You can still find newness in the familiar, even after 10 years and four trips to the same place. And when plans fall apart, you’re stable enough to pick up the pieces and create a new plan.
An example: when the weather surprises you and creates yet another change in your plans, sometimes your partner can create something fun out of it — something that surprises a laugh out of you in the morning when you see a message written in the snow.
All of that is to say, I’m glad we didn’t plan this trip, and a grilled cheese outing, down to the last detail. If I’ve learned anything this weekend, it’s that the plan would’ve probably changed anyways.
