Ignore the Destination (Even a Successful One)

“The Truth Is, Most of Us Discover Where We Are Headed When We Arrive.” — Bill Watterson

A lot of people focus too much on the destination.

My life used to be all about the to-do list. I’d avoid connecting with a friend, or doing what I loved, because of the mad dash to get it all done.

Worse, I obsessed about my goals. Instead of being present with my family in the evenings, I was in my head thinking about success and failure.

The constant striving and thought loops were exhausting. I found there was a better way.

It’s Fear

What about you? Are you present and living your life on purpose? Or is life a race toward achievement?

Do you spend more time worrying about a project that is due in a week, than you do on the one you are working on today?

Are you paranoid, doing a premortem on all that could go wrong because you are afraid of making a mistake?

Worrying about the future, you become anxious about your performance and overwhelmed by all that you have to do.

It’s fear and it’s getting in the way of the life you desire.

Fear Restricts Your Ability to Create

These feelings have a limiting effect on both your body and mind. When you feel fear of any type you tend to see only your challenges.

Daniel Goleman’s research on Emotional Intelligence shows why.

When experiencing fear “blood goes to the large skeletal muscles, such as in the legs, making it easier to flee, “ says Goleman. “Circuits in the brain’s emotional centers trigger a flood of hormones that put the body on general alert, making it edgy and ready for action, and attention fixates on the threat at hand.”

What’s most interesting is that Goleman says, “to be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow.”

Goleman describes flow as “a state of self-forgetfulness, the opposite of rumination and worry: instead of being lost in nervous preoccupation, people in flow are so absorbed in the task at hand that they lose all self-consciousness, dropping the small preoccupations — health, bills, even doing well — of daily life.”

Creativity happens when we experience flow. And we are creating our lives by the actions we take every day.

Learn to Let Go

Life becomes more vibrant, interesting, and enjoyable when we let go of our fear and find our flow.

Often, our fears come from visions of both failure and success that we create in our minds: the end of year sales quote, the financial obligations around the corner, or thinking you might not be enough, for everyone around you to learn that you’re an imposter.

Success can also feed into your fears. When we succeed there are implications. Even the most positive achievements expose us to more fear.

Now you have to keep succeeding.

Give yourself some much-needed freedom and let go of these fears that aren’t serving you.

Accept that they’ll be there as you move forward in your life, but let go of the power you once gave them.

But how?

Ignore the Destination

How often do you fast forward to the point of having already succeeded? This imagined success races towards becoming a fantasy. Your mind begins to say things like:

If I accomplish this then it means that I can finally do that thing I’ve always wanted to do. If I start to do that thing I’ve always wanted to do, then it will mean that I’ll get to do that other thing, be this, or do that.

Before you know it you’re living in the Bahamas or are President of the United States, and unsure how you even got there.

Now overwhelmed, you become afraid of your own success and what it might mean. You’ve turned a simple meaningful next step into an intimidating mountain to climb.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

BILL WATTERSON

What if you were to let go of the destination? Ignore it. Instead, focus on the opportunity right in front of you and seize it.

Life presents opportunities for meaning in unexpected places. If you’re off visualizing your future success you’ll miss what’s right in front of you.

Set Immediate Goals

Ignoring the destination doesn’t mean ignoring your goals. Accomplishing immediate goals is one of the most satisfying experiences you can have.

Pursue successive quick wins. Learn as you go. Pay attention to what’s most meaningful. Keep it simple.

What’s most important is to continue taking your next step.

Todd Rose writes in his latest book Dark Horse: Achieving Success Through the Pursuit of Fulfillment, “the self-knowledge you obtain from your experiences pursuing these immediate goals will open up a whole new range of choices better suited for your authentic individuality.”

Key Takeaway

Don’t get ahead of yourself. Stay mindful of what matters to you and where you are in this moment. Focus on your next step.

Be open to what unfolds as you take action, let go of the fear, let your intuition guide your path forward.

The cost of living in fear is to die a slow death with a life full of regrets. Fear restricts your ability to create.

Purpose is on the other side of your fear and discomfort. Let go of the fear, take your next step, and experience winning.

Find your why and turn it into a goal you can get excited about. Pursue it and enjoy the process every step of the way.

Do you want to live life to its fullest?

Then check out this 4 Step Guide to Discovering Your Values for free when you join my weekly newsletter. This guide will help you go deeper into who you are, find the work you love and create a meaningful and fulfilling life.