Clubhouse Types: A Comprehensive List
Flash your mic
Who are these people behind interesting voices on Clubhouse? Why do they talk like that? Can I get more of my favorite commenters’ insights? Can I mute an annoying chatterbox on my end while they speak (without leaving the room)? No, and no. You get what you get so, don’t be upset.
Let’s break down the quirky characters you come across in the audio platform— several will indeed describe themselves as “quirky.” Is that even a real adjective? From masters of their game to rude amateurs, you will easily find the types I describe in this piece. Some are making the app the new must join of social media. Others are just creating chaos and forcing administrators to change user guidelines to improve everybody’s experience. Anyway, here’s my list.
1. The mod who resets the room
Sometimes re-introducing everyone in your panel should not be a rule. Especially when the number of moderators is at eighteen and counting. Repeat introductions mean the poor hand-raisers will be waiting for their turn to speak for another hour until you get through everyone. Please let the co-mods re-introduce themselves only when they speak. That way, they can slate their name and say what they do in a short sentence rather than a full bio (that’s why we have a written, clickable profile).
2. The hand-raiser who is eternally grateful
“I wish there was Clubhouse in my day. Thank you so much for sharing your time and expertise.” I get it. I am grateful too. I mentioned before, I would have paid for some of those mod’s insights. But make no mistake: they are getting something in return. They are connecting with business partners, potential clients (maybe you), and establishing (sometimes re-establishing) themselves as experts.
3. The ego
Frequent moderator Paul Storial said, “Some people, once they get that green star, they start talking like they own the place.” He could not be more right. Once a peasant — err, listener — is “bumped to mod” and given a green beam, it’s their turn to shine. And some will own it.
Others don’t wait for the upgrade. They take the stage by storm the moment they get the invite to ask a question, prefacing it with a biographical monologue that can make some listeners doze off and forget what’s happening for a moment.
4. The piggybacker
“I’m just gonna piggyback off what you said because I agree,” and voila — we have another twenty minutes of a different voice repeating what the first expert just stated. I will never understand the point of a “piggyback.” Indeed I loved when one of the rooms had a strict “no piggyback rule.” Plus, who wants to say I, pig, and back in the same sentence? Can we erase that expression permanently?
5. The friend
They are enamored of how easy this app makes to talk to people who might never give them a listen elsewhere. They open (and end) their speaking moments with words along these lines: “I am a nice person. You should let me be your friend.” And sometimes we do! A word of caution: unless you don’t mind joining a room and immediately being introduced as “a dear friend” by someone you only connected with on Clubhouse, don’t feed the birds.
6. The creep
Are they stalking you? They are in every room you host but refuse to join the stage whenever you invite them. Should you block them? But they didn't do anything bad… Should you acknowledge them? That’s up to you. I heard hosts deal with it by saying, “Hey, Joe. Good to see you again. You are here all the time. I hope you want to speak at some point.” Anyway, Clubhouse is an audio platform with a live podcast format. The goal is not to have every listener speak. So, perhaps it’s best to let them just listen. You wouldn’t be creeped out by your podcast audience, would you?
7. The one addicted to Clubhouse
Our first day listening in was such an event! “So, this is why everybody’s so excited about this app. No wonder!” It’s like you walked into the best party you didn't know you could get an invitation to. And then, there’s another party taking place simultaneously, and you can hop in and out of both. And then, it’s 2 A.M., and you are sitting in the closet, belly laughing at a random joke from a stranger with an accent. And boy, did you allow notifications? Take my advice before it’s too late: turn off your phone at bedtime - this time for real.
8. The expert
So… you don’t need to work at all? Do you delegate everything so you can speak for free for hours every day? Congratulations: you are either a true genius who lives off your success (your assistant takes your calls, emails, dry-cleaning, and meal delivery), or… you may be a lie. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being great at what you do and talking about it so you can help other people. Nevertheless, plenty of fake experts mimic real pros and build a reputation for themselves with smoke and mirrors. Impressed by someone’s words? Look them up before you follow. Thank me later.
9. The over-scheduler
“I host several rooms on Clubhouse seven days a week.” Err… I am not your mother, but, boy, do you need to get a life. This is not healthy! Remember why you left Facebook and Twitter? You are doing it again! Stop it! Read a book. Do some work. Make friends you talk to on FaceTime, one at a time, without an audience. Plus, you’re spamming my feed. Really, dude. Stop.
10. The excessive pinger
There is nothing more annoying than happily waiting for your turn to speak in an awesome room and suddenly getting pinged — over and over. The worst offender here? A repeat pinger. You don’t even remember why you followed them (therefore allowing them to ping you as they wish), and now you most certainly regret it. Let me be!
11. The dragger
“I am going to close this room now, and you should all come to my next room in two minutes.” Wait, what? Is this the virtual version of “dessert will be served at the den?” Why would you drag all of us into your other room when we are perfectly fine right here? Seriously, why?
12. The chill
This is the ideal party guest. He shows up, listens, sometimes talks, sometimes gets bumped. When he hears something negative, he leaves the app for the day and goes have some tea. No hard feelings. We can do this again at any time. Life is too short to stress out.
13. The profile builder
“Make sure to follow all of these mods on the panel.” Argh. Remember YouTube’s “if you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe?” They can ask you to subscribe to ten people at once now. How depressing that influencers already put their stamp on Clubhouse with this lame type of invitation. Begging for followers is yucky, no matter how you preach. Ditto.
14. The scarce
The scarce type is the best. He pops once in a while, makes an impression, and then is gone for days (they may be an expert, but they probably work a job that does not allow for excessive delegating). Sometimes you are browsing the app hoping to find something — someone interesting to hear, but it’s all so boring. And you wonder, “where’s that person from the other day? They were fantastic.” If you aim to be someone on Clubhouse, strive to be scarce.
15. The bot
The Clubhouse “bot” is not a machine-generated intruder, but they definitely act like one. Their tactics include creating silent rooms and joining rooms without actually being present — both algorithm manipulation forms. But the worst type of bot is the fake profile: a person who hides behind a “brand avatar” when speaking in a room. Clubhouse is designed as an audio app, but that does not mean listeners should hear your voice without access to your real picture and bio. Another common bot-like behavior is when a host and moderator disappears from their own room, leaving an inadvertent co-mod in charge. Please don’t be such a rude host.
16. The party hat
Newcomers are arriving more prepared every day. They wait for their turn to speak, introduce themselves briefly, and even close with the proper etiquette phrase, “I’m done speaking.” Kudos to you if you are someone who did your homework before school even started. Still, some first-timers arrive a little confused: they think they are a moderator when it’s their turn to speak, and that can be a little awkward. Here’s how to handle that with grace: when a party hat is invited to speak and says, “I am happy to answer any questions,” just thank them and tell the audience, “if you have any questions for Chad, make sure to DM him on Instagram.” Then, move them right back to the audience. They’ll learn, and you will move along fast enough to avoid any more awkwardness.
17. The circle avatar
In the early days, some Clubhouse users photoshopped a circle around their profile picture. It was a cute way of making it look like they are speaking even when they were silent — simulating the app’s blinking ring around the speaker. But that got old really fast. Still, some people kept the fake ring, and some even went as far as placing a faux green beam (the one given to moderators) inside their avatar. That is so needy. If you are doing this, we are sorry for you.
18. The occasional chauvinist
We were still amused by Piers Morgan firing himself from his alarm clock show after going on a misogyny rant when this Brit totem entered a small room and treated us with a deja-vu. “B-list actress, blah blah blah. She didn't know how to curtsy (let me double-check how to spell “curtsy,” by the way)…” and no one kindly asked him to shut the f* up.
Until I did. Kindly. My exact words were, “I would not curtsy my boyfriend’s grandma without the proper Google search either, and I am sure as hell going to tell Oprah they could have assigned me an etiquette coach.”
I don’t care that the man “produced A-listers in the business” in 1987. From where I stand, Meghan Markle is not the one who needs to ask, “Do you know who I am?” Can we forbid men to use the first letters of the alphabet to categorize people? Thank you.
19. The one who doesn't care what the topic is
You give them the microphone, and they start speaking… off-topic. You circle back to them, and off the rails they go again. You want to discuss a topic you created a room about, but Josh is inspired by something else, and he can’t help it. Josh needs his own room. Get a room, Josh.
20. The one who wants to stay on topic
The other side of the coin is this mod who does his best to manage the room, making sense for anyone joining the conversation in progress. I appreciate this type. Isn’t it great to hop into a room and hear a conversation that matches the title of the room? I mean, is that just me?
Well, dear reader, thank you for checking this list. You know me — I use a little humor for perspective. I may argue that a bit of humor is a synonym of perspective (ok, now I’m the one going off-topic). Anyway, be sure to refer back to my list as needed. You may giggle at how these types do dominate Clubhouse. Most importantly, you will notice how some of the inappropriate behaviors described here will lead to suspensions and bans. So, make sure to be a good type!
