Epiphanies At Midnight On A Monday: January 2022
Monday at midnight seems the best time to make a profile on a dating app.
I also have firecrackers, though.
What this means is that I’m just now responding to an email that came 4 hours ago from a professor about being a Teaching Assistant for his class of 300 students. #AdultADHD
“How do you know?” marvels the casual observer in my minds’ eye, the one that speaks for all of you readers out there.
Because here’s what else I did upon reading said email 4 hours ago:
- Ate some of every item I bought earlier at the grocery store, including a condiment by itself*
- Scrolled through every r/AnimalsBeingJerks post for inspiration
- Wondered if I would die of a stroke in the shower
- Didn’t take a shower
- And then realized I was being avoidant, so
- Made a self-bargain to write one (1) sentence on my email reply at a time every 5 minutes while checking out “The Righteous Gemstones.”
Instead of the firecrackers resulting in a fire that would endanger the neighborhood and whatever nonsense I would’ve foisted on that dating app, I now have:
- A stream of consciousness post on Medium.com for YOU
- An email accepting the TA position
- A feeling that I made my immediate future slightly more tangible
- A stomachache.
Apparently, I’m not the only one with ADHD and procrastination! My department chair just sent some random “Information Security Awareness” Powerpoint that we were supposed to complete months ago.
So…all good!
*My BFF Gareth noted, “Everyone knows you don’t buy condiments.” This is a true statement, as we all discovered when I hosted a Memorial Day barbecue and had NO ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, salad dressing, or steak sauce. It had not occurred to me to have them. I haven’t used the ones we bought since that Memorial Day of 2019.
I don’t know how else to classify the waxy-yet-gleeful tube of rainbow sprinkles I DID buy and sample 3 tablespoons of this evening.
This particular act may not indeed fall under #ADHD.
It does speak to anxiety about the start of the Spring 2022 semester. Nevertheless, I wish all students, faculty, and staff at all educational institutions — as well as your loved ones — a happy, healthy, reflective kickoff to 2022’s year of learning.
Leave the rainbow sprinkles alone.
