I get very nervous sometimes. Extremely nervous.
I’ve felt this way recently when I was on the train and someone on the seat behind me was cackling obnoxiously. Other times, I’ve felt it when someone made an innocent remark about how I look. Sometimes, it’s when plans get cancelled. When plans get changed. When my drone doesn’t work right. When I’m trying to sleep. When I’m eating.
It sounds simple, but this is the type of nervousness is paralysing. It is often described as a controlling beast which handicaps your lucid thinking. It makes you hear the ticking of the clock. It takes you by the hand and drags you into a dark oblivion of speculation. You worry; then, you worry about worrying; and before you know it, you are speeding through an isolated chaos.
Such is the frenzy of high-functioning anxiety in a mind that never rests.
I’ve only recently discovered that anxiety can be kept under a leash. In even the worst cases, there are strategies we can use to assert control. In this post, we break things down: what causes the anxiety response, and how can we minimise it?
Before we start, we need two key pre-requisites: self-awareness and positivity. These allow us to accept our issues, and be willing to understand and tackle them. Only then can we truly focus on helping ourselves.
How? Well, I’m an engineer. I like taking things apart before putting them back together. Let me explain what I’m thinking.
Stress levels are aperiodic: they dont repeat or follow any specific pattern. No two days are the same. For me, a typical stress profile during the week might look like this:
Why? Two things determine the stress profile:
- Lifestyle (e.g. hobbies, friends, work habits, etc). These relate to the big picture: where the “average” stress level sits and how flexible its shape is in general. The healthier habits we adopt, the less we feel stressed overall.
- Triggers (e.g. remarks, noises, hormones, etc). These relate to the small picture: how much stress levels spike and dip. The healthier coping mechanisms we adopt, the less sensitive feel stressed in response sudden changes.
To minimise nervousness, both healthy habits and healthy coping mechanisms are needed to keep our stress levels low and avoid anxiety.
Without healthy habits, we are generally tense and tired.
Without healthy coping mechanisms, the slightest incidence might push us over the edge.
Important question: What causes a panic attack? The other day, I came across this curve, known by psychologists as the Yerkes-Dodson stress law:
Not surprisingly, this law just states that you need some stress to perform well. Most of us high-achievers, though, tend towards the “distress” side. We set high standards for ourselves, then feel bad when expectations aren’t met. Poor habits make this worse. If lacking in coping mechanisms, when we are triggered, we can fall completely over the edge of “breakdown & burnout”, in the pit of social withdrawal, depression, and eating disorders.
Convinced to explore some anxiety management strategies? I hope so. Let’s look at what we can do to make both of our defenses stronger.
Building healthy habits. The other day, I read a great article which explains habits that can improve the general state of our mental health. Examine your day’s routine carefully: What do you do when you get up in the morning? Before you go to bed? Do you eat well? Do you sleep well? Do you get enough physical activity? What is your approach to work? Does the weekend make you worry?
Make sure you allocate enough time to “switch off” through hobbies and social events to avoid attention deficits. Regular guided meditation is also great, and often overlooked tool, to allow your mind gets a time to “rest” instead of being constantly on the go. Finally, as high anxiety is related to over-activity, it is crucial that you have a creative outlet for your excess energy. Learn to express yourself in a constructive, rather than destructive, manner. You are blessed, not cursed: when in control, you can do great things.
Certainly, don’t over-optimise — but realising what you could do better and making a few simple changes can go a long way.
Building healthy coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are like a set of tools: you never know which one you might need, but you should make sure that they’re always there. Equip yourself with practical things you can do, physically and mentally, to avoid those particularly uncomfortable situations.
Train yourself to think objectively: have I been in a similar situation before? Was it the end of the world? Often, it helps to realise that you are not alone; many, many other people have been bullied, cancelled on, had headaches, etc. — they just worry about it less. Remind yourself that you are in control.
Anxiety enjoys magnifying small issues. Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do to put them back in perspective. Try physically isolating yourself from the place that makes you upset. If you feel that the walls are closing in on you suddenly, go for a walk outside or just climb down the stairs and back. This might appear obvious now, but it’s really not when you both feel terrible and want to get things done. If possible, practise what I call the holiday technique: force your nervous mind to shift focus elsewhere. Talk to your best friend. Ask a colleague about their day. Wonder why the clouds are moving so fast. Count the different colours of flowers you can see. By the time you’re done, your tensions will have hopefully swollen back down.
Practise speaking up for your needs when triggers come knocking. Don’t be afraid to say “no”, or to ask for a break when you need one. Last, but not least, keep your favourite music on hand always — for those extra tough moments. 😉
Your cheat-sheet:
Disclaimer : I am no expert on medical illnesses. This article is about lifestyle changes and suggestions based on my experience. Please consult a professional for more serious treatment if necessary.
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