Build What Matters
Create change and pick yourself
Author’s note: this post was originally written as a 100-word submission on the Coming of Age (a feat in itself). Her submission was rejected, which she then edited, and well — the rest is history.
I moved to Los Angeles, the “City of Angels,” two weeks before I turned 28. The first-born daughter of Filipino immigrants, I was raised in New Jersey, educated in Boston, and found myself, five years later, in a fifth-floor walk-up, on the Upper East Side of New York City, asking myself, “Is this it?”
A serious, millennial, and quite frankly, privileged moment for me.
I was born in ‘86 so technically, I’m an Old Millennial, but still. The nature of this question might seem straight up disrespectful to some. My parents, who graced my life with their generous, loving hearts, sacrificed everything they had in the Philippines and came to the states in ’85 to start a new life.
And you know what? They did. And they crushed it.
Mom, Dad, Ninang, if you’re reading this: crushing it actually has an extremely positive connotation to it and means you did this job particularly well — even exceeded your goals. I love you.
Back to my story.
And perhaps, my incredibly selfless Filipino family raised me so damn well, they left me wanting more — from my environment, my place of work at the time, and myself. And so, I sought out some serious change in my life.
“I’m moving to Brooklyn!” Duh.
But when I marched myself into the office of my Senior Vice President and uttered the words, “I need to make a change in my life,” it seemed the Universe had something else, much greater, planned for me. In fact, I left her office that day with an offer to relocate with our agency to Los Angeles.
My one-way ticket to LAX was the first of many firsts. Not only was there an Adam Levine look-a-like on my flight, but my seatmate offered me one of his Valium for our ride out. California, here we come is right.
And the magic didn’t stop there.
Models worked at Trader Joe’s and fellow shoppers were so dang friendly they complimented me on choice of succulent — and not only once, this actually happened, twice (quite possibly because I was living in Santa Monica). It seemed I had found my final resting place.
But man, oh man.
Life had more than a few curveballs planned for me in the months ahead.
Now, I realize this is a weekly blog post and for today, don’t want to focus, too much, on this particular story. And trust me — I have a lot of stories.
The point is:
Realize a need for change, put in action (no matter how small), and keep an eye out for magic.
Action is the catalyst for change.
The change, in myself — I’ll refer to as the Coming of Age (for this blog post, anyway). Wikipedia claims this is the time you get your shit together. The time you [successfully] transition from being a kid to an adult.
Whatever that might mean to you.
Because, real talk: I turn 31 this year and don’t think I’ll ever fully reach the land of All Figured Out — I mean, I’ll pull up to the shore, hop out of the boat, then maybe, take a dip back out to sea if I get restless. You feel me?
All of which is A-OK.
Because maybe, our Coming of Age has less to do with the actual outcome of our lives and more with the process of how we handle not getting what we want. And in moments of kicking and screaming (or making the choice not to), we can access our ability to be our own best friend.
To be someone who loves ourselves — in moments we think we can’t.
And this is how we Keep On Keeping On.
Internet, let it be known: only you hold the real magic within your Self to create the exact kind of love you desire. And just so you know, it’s the type of love only you can give to yourself. Self-love — that’s what’s up.
It’s the moment you stop searching and realize you’re the answer.
Realize you’re dope as hell, kinda cute, whole on your own, and made from pure magic. And so perhaps, one key to unlock our most authentic Self is to move through moments instead of standing still.
And, to embrace our magic abilities we forgot along the way.
Like, our extraordinary power to —
Breathe.
Make our own choices in our own life.
Say no to things.
Play.
Follow our enthusiasm.
Ask questions.
Be kind (to ourselves).
Laugh. Like, out loud.
Not complain.
Take action.
Practice self-care.
And whether you meditate, hit the gym, nourish your body with fruits and veggies, or take a bath for the first time ever, without burning precious skin cells off — I’ll save this How To for next time. Email me if you’re curious) — you get to decide what action looks like.
The point is:
Do something for yourself, every day, while you conquer the world. There’s only one of you — and you are magic.
To wrap, we all hold the ability to slow down, express gratitude, recognize, “Holy shit, we’re alive,” and quite frankly, built for more.
And dear friends, I can’t wait to see what goodness we bring into the world once we build stuff from the heart, together.
Thanks for reading this week. I’m glad you’re here.
X — MO
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This post features an image by prottoy hassan. He’s a photographer living in Bangladesh, India.
Michelle Ortega is a creative writer, educator, and life coach living in Los Angeles, CA. She believes in Love and all things unconventional.
