Which Character Are You?

I had a dream last night.

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In the dream, my husband and I hosted a going away party for our friends in our home. We had been watching what was happening in the world around us and could read the writing on the wall that our environment had changed in such a way that we could live there no longer.

We had invited quite a few couples who also had small children because we knew their lives, hopes, and dreams were going to be impacted negatively if they stayed. To protect our friends so they could live their lives as they were meant to live them, they had to escape. To escape, they needed little distraction and needed to be light and unencumbered. We realized for our friends to survive, we needed to help them. These people were special to us and we would do anything we could for them.

We concocted a plan. The going away party was the culmination of that plan. We thought since no one seemed to care about our comings and goings, we felt as though we could lighten our friend’s burden by sneaking their children out of the country with us so that our friends would have an easier chance to escape. This would make it simpler for the couples to escape without worrying about the children or would allow them to escape, period.

The plan was to take the infants and children to the next destination so that the parents could be relatively unencumbered as they made their way, with less “worry and baggage.” The people that wanted that chance to live their lives in freedom, came to our party that night.

Our instructions were for them to feed, change, and swaddle their children and place them in cubbies that we could disguise and place in our van. There were also two playpens for the larger infants. As soon as the feeding, changing, and securing the children happened, the parents kissed them goodbye, and we drove off. Timing was everything.

We were nervous that we would be caught because if we were caught something would happen to the children and potentially to ourselves. But we drove on anyway and found ourselves at a stopping point a few hours down the road in a place far more safe than we had been in our home. There must have been at least 30 precious children in our care. We made our way into the next house and systematically changed, fed and rewrapped the children with some help from people that we had prepositioned. There were a couple of younger children with us who we also managed to sneak out and who helped us.

It was crazy trying to keep the children satisfied and quiet so we wouldn’t be caught.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Just as we were getting ready to leave for the next destination, one of the couples from the party arrived. They were relieved; overjoyed, and with tears in their eyes, they reconnected with their precious babies. They were going to ride with us and help us at the next destination where we would all be far more safe and secure.

Pondering

When I woke, I wasn’t quite sure what this dream meant. I hadn’t watched any movies lately or read any articles about Nazi Germany, and Jewish babies being smuggled out in tool boxes. That is what the dream felt like.

The couple that had joined us had been one of the first to sneak off from the party. They had a plan in place, and they knew what they were going to do and when, and they were willing to risk everything to be reunited with their baby as soon as possible.

The children in our care seemed to know they had to keep quiet. The nighttime travel, a full belly plus our care and nurturing kept them satisfied and they were lulled to sleep during the traveling. The bundling helped them feel secure.

I sat and meditated a little bit on this dream to find the hidden meaning. I let my mind flow. I looked for its guidance. As I did, I sat with my Journal, pen in hand and listened to some background drumming meditation music while I tried to connect with the message behind these characters.

Here is what I came up with:

The first thought was, what if the babies represented our hopes, wishes, and desires — i.e., our dreams for life?

That seemed to ring true to me.

The authorities / the ones out to threaten the (babies) , i.e., our dreams — and the parents, are always there in the background giving us pause from doing what we want to do.

Because we don’t know who they are or when they’ll come, we are stressed-out and in some cases live in a constant state of fear or anxiety. The authorities represent our doubts and “What ifs?”

If we nurture our (babies), i.e., dreams, and “ feed, change, and swaddle” them, they will stay quiet, satisfied, and will wait for us passively with all the potential they carry inside.

The question arose: Are we doing everything we can to nurture, care for, and love our dreams enough to keep them alive and thriving?

Some of the dream holders (i.e., parents) — knew what was at stake. They knew the risks and the rewards ahead of them. They were the small minority who were proactive and jumped at the first opportunity to reconnect with their “dreams.”

Remember the first couple that arrived just as we were about to take off to our next destination?

This couple would not let their baby get far from them. They would not let their dream get far from them — and they pursued it with everything they had inside until they were reunited. It took courage, it took ingenuity, it took a mindset that said, we are never going back.

Others attending the going away party, (i.e., the babies’ parents,) felt as though they were under observation and because of that, they had to act normally and do the right thing at the right time. They were perfectionists. Their thought process was more cautious, and they went about their day normally even while their true desire (their baby) was in the hands of someone else, hidden away, and waiting for them.

They most certainly had the desire to reunite but their feelings of safety and how things looked was more pressing. The risk of doing something different and holding on to their baby — their dream was secondary.

The last group of people at the party — the biggest majority- were just plain scared. They knew the best move was to get out of town. They truly wanted better for their children.

They were frightened of change. They were frightened of staying. They were frightened of going. They absolutely knew their (baby) dream existed but now that they had sent the baby on ahead, it was out of their hands. They believed Fate needed to intervene.

They could recall the face of the baby. They knew how he or she smelled, they knew how their offspring cried, they missed its smile and twinkling eyes. They longed to hold them in their arms, but with the “authorities” threatening their lives, there were too scared to move. They were too scared in case someone found out they were leaving and changing their lives. They were aware of the jealousies surrounding them and of what they had.

They were afraid if someone found out they were about to be the most joyful they had ever felt in years, it would all be taken from them, so they planned to wait for the right moment.

The right moment rarely comes of its own accord. So they sat, paralyzed. They sat anxiously waiting for the moment when they could be reunited. They hope they have been wrong and the environment in which they live will change and be what it once was and everyone will return.

The longer they sit, the further their dream travels from them, the more they forget about their connection to it, and the more they convince themselves, this life isn’t too bad.

Lessons

  1. What precious dreams are you holding onto today? How vivid are they to all of your senses? Are you the proactive dream catcher? Are you pursuing your dreams with every ounce of what you have in you? Have you burnt your ships so you can’t turn back? Are you making arrangements and following your intuition to create opportunities so that you can arrive at your “baby’s” location about the same time? Are you one of the minority that because you risked it all, you gained it all? Are you the one that because you were fulfilled, you were able to hold the babies of others — the babies of your friends?
  2. Or are you the one who’s a perfectionist, afraid to take the risk in case it doesn’t work out? Are you the one waiting until conditions are just right? That dream — that baby - is waiting for you and is in the hands of someone else holding space for you while you wait for the perfect moment. Do you want to continue to be that person?
  3. Or are you the one that knows they have a dream, and it is somewhere out there? Does it now feel as though the dream is out of reach and all you feel is fear, anxiety, regret, and paralysis? As you sit there wishing for something different? The baby is waiting and your friends are waiting for you to make a move.

With no move, depression has an open door.

Our dreams are there, waiting for us, calling for us.

Our friends and partners are waiting for us urging us to take a chance.

Our dreams need our full attention; they need our feeding, they need our changing and nurturing. They remember you. They are waiting for you to help them grow, as you had planned to do. They are waiting to combust with you into fireworks of unimaginable joy at your reunion.

Will you risk inertia? Will you walk through anxiety and what ifs? Will you do everything possible to be reunited with your dream?

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