Why no one cares about what you think
I could win an award for the worst person to confront others in the whole world. The idea of confronting someone is still sort of terrifying to me. My heart rushes, I start to tremble, it makes me sweat.
But sometimes I just have to do it anyway. We all have.
I’ve been learning this more and more as I live around the world. Every once in a while, someone tries to trick me into getting something I do not want and I have to stand up for myself.
Don’t get me wrong: the majority of people I’ve met are truly amazing.
But you always end up meeting one or two that just want to put their own wishes on top of yours, as if they’re more important than you.
Most of the time, it's simply a lack of empathy to understand and respect how someone else feels. In other situations, you can call them "assholes" too.
People tend to devalue what others are feeling and prioritise how they think someone should react — because after all they’re just not experiencing the same.
We tend to envy someone because their life looks much easier than ours. We are sure that the way we feel about things is the "right way" — as if something like that is even possible. Or worse: we think that the other is being overly dramatic. Too cautious. Too worried.
I’m here to tell you a simple thing.
No one cares what you think.
Unless you decide to put yourself in their shoes.
You don't have to accept or agree with the way someone reacts. But if the person is struggling, you can help and you can respect. That's all.
When we interact with others, we tend to use our own measurements to establish how serious the subject is. What’s important to me might not be that important to you. People tend to react the way they do for a reason — and it's absolutely not necessary for them to explain their reasons to you.
When people feel something and share them with you, it’s not your place to undervalue their pain. Unless they ask you to do so.
You can share your opinion when asked, you can give advice, you can help, but you can never measure what they're feeling using your ruler.
Understand their side. Share your point of view. Ask what they think. Respect how they feel.
To help is way different than to judge. Your personal judgement over things that do not affect you directly are never that important — because it's your ruler. If you cannot respect that other people have different reactions over things, no one cares what you think. You probably have no idea what the other person is going through, so listen, respect and if the person asks you, try to help.
If you’ve been given the privilege of looking at the world with someone else’s eyes for a second, do exactly that. Or don’t bother at all.
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