My Bike, My Anarchy
You are welcome, you angry drivers
One moment I am cycling through the cars, dodging the side mirrors, at the other moment I am riding on the pavement in between people, countering the looks of judgment that are sticking to me. Sometimes I ride in a Tesco store, sometimes on a rail station while barking and singing loudly:
“That’s life, that’s what all the people say, you’re riding high in April, shot down in May. Woof, Woooof.”
I am almost like those electric cigarette vapers who leave a cloud of aerosol wherever they go. You can see them vaping in a church while confessing mortal sins to a priest, or in a hospital while a doctor is examining their prostate. Man, I saw a lady vaping that shit on a plane while a person next to her was having a panic attack, lost in that cloud. You just watch them, expecting somebody would do something about it, but it never happens.
You see, that is how I feel when on my bicycle. Pure anarchy. Chaos!
Ok, I need to admit, I am not on the vapers’ level, I get told off here and there. The other day, there was yet another tube strike in London, so I went to central London on my bicycle. The next day, as I was going back home, I couldn’t be bothered to ride the bike all the way, so I went to the Embankment station and a tube staff guy told me I could only get the bicycle on the Circle line trains.
Since I live on the Norther line, the Circle line was of no use.
I told him “OK” which was a dog’s deception and descended to the Northern line platform, regardless.
I assume he saw me on the camera, standing there with my bicycle.
“You are not allowed to be here with the bicycle, I told you that,” the guy announced on the loudspeaker strictly. “Leave the platform straight away, or otherwise you will deal with the police.”
Everybody was looking at me.
“Ok, ok, dude… Chill out, man,” I thought as I was leaving the platform. “You are not alone here. There are other people waiting for a train here. Have some respect for your job. For fuck’s sake.”
You see, when I am on my bicycle, I embody anarchy… Chaos. And as such, I fear Order. Actually, I don’t fear Order itself. I believe that Chaos and Order are simply metaphysical phenomena that together make a whole, a perfectly beautiful whole. One does not exist without the other. One creates another. One coexists with the other.
What I do fear is a society that positions Order above Chaos. I am afraid of people who attach moral values to Order, people who are ready to judge, moralise and kill in the name of Order. I fear a person who feels they are obliged to hit me with a car when see me passing through the red light on my bicycle. That is a person who builds their moral values based on what this blind society tells them. You remember those people in shops who would moralise to you when not having a mask? Those people I am talking about. People who are so obsessed with rules (“Rules are rules,” they say) and Order that can’t be bothered to turn their heads to the other side and see what is there.
Figuratively and literally!
Some people have so much faith in Order that they are not even bothered to turn their head and check if a bicycle is coming their way when crossing a road. If a traffic light shows green for them, they just cross the street without having check if somebody is actually going through the red light. They believe they are protected by the divine power of Order. But to deny Chaos is to deny part of reality. And those who do it, often don’t take a full responsibility for their life. They are ready to blame somebody else for putting them in danger. But that is crazy! Because Chaos and Order cannot exist separately! We must stay alert and have an understanding of a bigger picture.
Alert, but still, not afraid.
Only with a fine balance between Order and Chaos can we reach peace in society. Absolute Order is as dangerous as absolute Chaos! We could have seen that during the pandemic when we were drifting towards absolute Order. No hugging, no friends, no family, no nothing. That order, which was founded on a strict set of rules, ended up in a dictatorship. Actually, dictatorship in its essence indeed is a need for absolute order.
In these times, when Order is seemingly taking the main role in human minds, Chaos is needed. Anarchy is needed!
Listen here! I will explain! Have some faith in a dog, yeah?
There are some narrow streets in London, yeah? So sometimes a group of vehicles jam behind me as I am chilling on my bicycle. Sometimes, I get triggered by a man in the BMW X6 who can’t pass me because the car is too big.
“What, man? You’ve got a small dick, so you need a big car, yeah?”
Then I look at my huge black Breezer bicycle and I realise that I am one of those. Just on a bicycle.
Look how big this bicycle is ↓↓↓↓
However, sometimes a bus full of rushing passengers gets stuck behind me as well. Passengers are furious!
So what do I do? I break the rules, I turn the anarchy mode, jump on the pavement, and let the BMW X6 and the bus pass next to me. I salute the bus with my tail as passengers are looking at me with serenity. At least some of them. Some of them are still so controlled by the God of Order that I only make them pissed and they would rather be dying in agony, watching how I slowly cruising on my bike in front of the bus than seeing me jumping on the pavement.
They fear Chaos.
But do I care? No! I save them all from agony by moving aside.
You see, anarchy is needed.
WOOF.
