What To Do When You’ve Got Too Much Of Self Esteem?
It all began that night of September. I felt the anger for the first time in my life. I was 8 or 9 but it doesn’t matter. I tried to suppress it. I did. All the rage and the carnage built up inside me and festered into my veins. It was a jamboree of emotions. The whole world was silent. Just like the calm before the storm. And then a tear trickled down my cheek……
24th Sep 1995
Sunday, 8:00 p.m.: We used to play ball every other day at the Highland Park. Me, Jan and Will. We were a decent lower middle class family and my house was not in the best of it’s condition. I loved it anyhow. That night they came over for the first time and the first thing Jan said,’’ Nobody would ever wanna come here, It’s dirty.” and then she laughed.
I know the children can say mean things like that and any kid would have had a comeback to it. But that day it hurt some part in my body that I knew never existed. It hurt my self-esteem. I was proud of my parent’s house. I was proud that its walls could withstand the storms of a speed of a 1000 miles an hour. I knew it somehow. But I couldn’t bear the fact that somebody could shit on your soul and not feel a thing.
15th Jan 2005
Saturday, 1:00 p.m.: It was a quiz. I was never keen on getting the best score. I was passing every exam. I’ve had many chances to look around, but it just didn’t feel right. You know what got in my way….my self-esteem. I know it’s easy to copy someone else’s idea, answer, code or business plan for that matter. It’s plagiarism and it’s unethical and nobody ever tries to do that. But not to take an advice or help before the exam, before a business meeting. This, my friend, is the conscience of a person with high self esteem which is an asshole when it takes morality on a whole different level. It’s almost self destructive…..
When the Self Esteem Starts to Destruct Self
Although this feeling of self righteousness may help you in many ways like keeping you honest to yourself, boost your creative sense and build your mental strength but it’s a complex emotion and can fiddle with your other behaviors pretty badly. Here are some of the most common symptoms of a person with high self esteem:
- Bitterness: People suffering from the High Self Esteem Disorder (HSED) start to hate almost everyone including peers, colleagues and relatives. They identify themselves with the pioneers of the fields or even Gods. It happens because no one has those ideal set of standards that they’ve imposed upon themselves or at least think that they’ve imposed. They smell even the slightest strain of low esteem in others and the stench of weakness only makes them cringe. This causes the person to interact less with fellow human beings causing them to not make friends because…..
- Condescendence: The HSED sufferers develop a deep sense of narcissism and snobbish behavior. The person thinks that everything they do is much better than what everyone else is doing which in fact is not true but only in their minds. Their behavior pisses people off and does not offer the respect they expect from other. They are often termed as loners and as Angry as they seem with everyone, the insecurity is their biggest fear. They relate themselves to being borderline psychopaths that may lack empathy causing them to function pretty well in leadership roles and business environments.
If you relate with any of the above mentioned stories or the symptoms, you may be having HSED of some degree. And I know it sounds like the person having such emotions maybe a total moron and a jerk but there are people who experience these emotions and they try to suppress it to stay social and try not to burn bridges. But if you’re feeling too much pressure because of your nature, sometimes and maybe sometimes you got to……
Tips To Overcome Your Self Destructive Nature and Become the Best Version of Yourself…..
- Start Listening: When you start paying attention to people, you come as someone who cares. It does not make you a simpleton or a less of person, you jackass*!! It’ll only help you get views of people on a situation and get a second or third person perspective. If you are not receptive of people’s help, you can see this as one of your power-tools to get to make a larger sense of audience as if you were building a product or strategy.
- Accept Yourself: Make peace with your nature. Rather to feel guilt and burden of this huge Ego, use it to work harder and face your fears. Utilize your time, fill the voids with meaningful work which can actually speak volumes not just your resting bitch face reflecting seething hate towards anyone and everyone.
- Read Non Fiction: Read upon whatever piece of information you can on important personalities Founders, Celebrities and Men and Women in Powerful Positions. You’ll be awed by the amount of stress they handle and the decisions they make when the stakes are the highest. Books on Business and Philosophy go well together.
It’s true that almost all of us have Self Esteem issues, some have it on a higher scale and some lower. But we got to admit that we are in control of ourselves and can manipulate our anxiety and stress levels to make the best versions of ourselves.
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