Answering “Why do I feel bad?”, Part 12: Grief
This post is part of a 14-part series of “issues” — emotions, behaviors, and events — that change your life in ways that cause you to ask, “Why do I feel bad?” These issues range from the familiar (regret, tragedy) to the less obvious (distorted thinking) to the unexpected (attachment issues).
If you haven’t already, read Part 1: Introduction and Context. It explains the purpose of this series (including how to read the diagram in this post), answers some Frequently Asked Questions, and gives recommendations on how to use this series to improve your life.
Grief
Grief is a very complex emotion, and different people get through it in very different ways. Of necessity, the discussion of grief here is limited to its role as the cause of a person feeling bad.
Grief is a natural response to the loss — usually an irretrievable loss — of someone or something that is very important to you.
Jack knew that breaking up with Ethan was the right thing to do. Ultimately, they wanted very different things in life, and they couldn’t find anything that worked for both of them. Jack usually bounced back from breakups, but not this time. Months later, he still felt depressed and drained of energy, and he found himself staring into space a lot. At first, he blamed it on working too hard and too long. Eventually, though, he realized he was grieving the loss of the relationship he and Ethan might have had.
Although most people think of grief as something you feel when a loved one dies, there are many occasions for grief that do not involve death. For example, you can feel grief after getting a promotion (because coworkers now act more distant toward you), losing the ability to travel extensively (because of financial problems), or realizing you will never become a professional soccer player (a childhood dream).
If you found yourself grieving, you probably wouldn’t be surprised by periods of sadness and crying. But grief affects both mind and body. Having trouble concentrating, abusing drugs or alcohol, making rash lifestyle changes, and physical symptoms like headaches and muscle pain — all these are just a few of the problems that people in grief have been known to have.
Fortunately, grief is a natural process that, given enough time, usually resolves itself without serious problems. Anyone experiencing grief can benefit from grief counseling, but grief rarely becomes so severe that it becomes a psychological disorder (Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder).
In the diagram at top, grief is the vertical black rectangle mostly in the lower right quadrant. Its position indicates that grief is more than moderately serious, but that it is usually less serious than trauma.
You can also read the entire series on one page at greggwilliams.co.
If you like this article then please click the ❤ button below and share with others.
Check out my Medium publication, Your Better Life.
Personal wisdom, articles that shift your thinking in important ways, things that will make your life better. Quality content that adds something good to your life.
You can find YBL at https://FindYourBetterLife.com/— that’s “find your better life DOT com.”
And to follow/subscribe, just click the icon at the bottom of any article page.
