Answering “Why do I feel bad?”, Part 8: Distorted Thinking
This post is part 8 of a 14-part series of “issues” — emotions, behaviors, and events — that change your life in ways that cause you to ask, “Why do I feel bad?” These issues range from the familiar (regret, tragedy) to the less obvious (distorted thinking) to the unexpected (attachment issues).
If you haven’t already, read Part 1: Introduction and Context. It explains the purpose of this series (including how to read the diagram in this post), answers some Frequently Asked Questions, and gives recommendations on how to use this series to improve your life.
Distorted thinking
Distorted thinking is a persistent pattern of thinking that causes you to view reality is distorted way.
Mika is a law student who engages in black-or-white thinking―for example, that people are either good at what they do or they’re total failures.
After she loses a case in a mock trial, she tells herself, “I’m just no good at being a lawyer, and I never will be.” When a friend asks her why she looks sad, Mina blames it on realizing she’s a failure at being a lawyer. It never occurs to her that she’s sad because she’s viewing reality in a distorted way.
Distorted thinking is an indirect issue that can cause you to feel bad about yourself, your situation, or the world. Such negative thoughts tend to reinforce themselves and can lead to a variety of negative consequences:
Mika’s black-or-white thinking may result in one of several outcomes. She may be sad for a day or two, then feel better as she begins to see the mock trial more realistically. If she sees later setbacks as additional proof that she’s a “total failure” as a lawyer, she may become depressed (resulting in a string of lower grades) and, after law school, settle for a job that pays less. She may even become so anxious about her future that she leaves law school and switches to a less demanding field of study.
There are many kinds of distorted thinking (formally known as “cognitive distortions”). Other common forms of distorted thinking include mind-reading (believing that you know what other people are thinking) and personalization (holding yourself responsible for something you have no control over).
Also, note that distorted thinking can be considerably more hidden than inflexibility. There are many reasons why this could be the case. For example, you may not see a distorted thought because of how strongly you hold on to and defend it. Or you may not see a distorted belief because you learned it from your parents at an impressionable age and don’t even know that you have it.
In the diagram at top, distorted thinking is a green rectangle that is positioned largely in the upper left quadrant. It can range from being fairly manageable to being moderately serious, and it can be moderately to strongly hidden from view.
You can also read the entire series on one page at greggwilliams.co.
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