How I learned to stop getting in my own way…
When I was in culinary school, I learned a VERY valuable lesson…be aware of your station, your footing, and your surroundings. This high level of spatial awareness become the root of my teachings as a coach and gave me essential tools for understanding human development.
I’d spent almost 20 years in my home kitchen, experimenting as a wanna-be pro, making a massive mess (luckily my mom hated cooking so she agreed to do the cleaning), and having access to minimal ingredients due to financial crunches growing up. I didn’t know true quality nor proper preparation until I went to school for the ART of cooking. Before school, I burned things on pans not knowing there was another way, used plastic spatulas that melted in pans as I knew not of heat-resistant ones, and scrambled eggs with a fork in teflon pans.
I was a hot mess before it was cool…HA!
In school, we were taught to prepare all ingredients BEFORE starting the cooking process, clean up as we go, and keep a present moment awareness about us that allowed for us to build up an instinct/relationship with the food. These basics are things people can now easily learn from Food Network but the development of instinct and being one with the food takes pressure from stress to learn extreme focus and connectivity.
One day in school, I was stressed, tired and NOT fully present. Up to that point, I’d worked really hard to prove my worth in the kitchens as women tend to be a bit too ‘soft’ in the intense environment. Thankfully, I’d earned my stripes by hard work and dedication.
Yep, I was a bad ass.
But that day, my humanness was getting the better of me. I’d partied way too hard for a couple of weeks…and it was college so I was sleep-deprived and had a perpetual hangover for most of the two years I was there…:/ It was competency day where we had to prove all we’d learned in the class or be held back.
My instructor, Chef Stazi, was looking over my shoulder as I fumbled over my station, dropping ingredients as I took them from cutting board to pan. He yelled out in a joking manner, “Keep your station clean, Chef!”
“Yes, chef!”
Yeah, I get it…I’m f*%@ing up and it’s unacceptable in my level of achievement.
In that moment I snapped out of it.
I realized that the two years of me being there had taken me down a LONG road of personal discovery, emotional transformation, and the ability to handle stressful situations like never before. For that ONE moment in time, I’d allowed weakness to take me out of my zone…and in that moment…it all clicked.
I was back. The tiredness disappeared. The worry of not succeeding vanished. I was in the zone and unstoppable.
Most humans go through life like a bull in a china shop- clueless about how their actions will help or hinder their future, creating collateral damage from emotional reactions, leaving clutter behind because they “don’t have time” to pick it up, procrastinate on something because they have too much stress already on their plate, and can’t stand the heat of adversity so they avoid it all together.
Chefs on the other hand run into the flames. They thrive in stressful situations and often times, seek out more ways to create chaos as they become hooked on the rush.
My final job working in a professional kitchen, I felt a sense of exhilaration by looking up and seeing order tickets as far as the eye could see. There was something so powerful about knowing that you have NO CHOICE BUT TO WIN every night and giving it your all to make it excellent every time.
When a chef is in the weeds, it’s the time when they shine the most. They have to find ways to make miracles happen and the best ones always do.
This guided me to the coaching life I’ve been in for over a decade. When my teachers told me in school that I could take my culinary education and do anything with it, I never would have imagined that it would lead me to coaching.
Go figure!
From my life in the industry, I learned the following lessons about life:
1- Unless the building is on fire, NOTHING is out of one’s control- if you think otherwise, you’ll get eaten alive by the stress and see no option for success
2- You and your team must be strong like Spartans- there is no room for excuses or thoughts of anything less than relentless success, honor, dignity, and respect in your craft. The weakest link will be shunned. (And NO that’s not a bad thing.) You learn to step up your game to BE the best and THAT becomes your daily drive to get out of bed despite the aches and pains of the previous shift.
3- Your work is your calling card- not just in the food itself, but in how you carry yourself, manage your station, keep things tidy, and support your team. If one or more of these is failing, you too will fail. Excellence travels fast, and your life is defined by your actions not just your thoughts.
4- Adrenaline is an addiction as you truly learn what you’re capable of- when a true chef leaves the industry, they’ll spend a lifetime seeking the “rush” of being on the line in every other area of life. They need to create, inspire, be bold and feel purposeful in BIG ways to push their own boundaries.
5- No matter how hard your life is, when you’re in the zone, you can lose yourself in the excellence of creating something great- it’s the ULTIMATE meditation…trade stress for artistic expression. A win-win.
6- When you’re in the zone, flowing with mind and body working in unison as a symphony, and others are not, you want them OUT of your way, fast!- it’s a feeling of “you’re either with me, or against me…I’ve got a battle to win and I won’t let you get in my way.” This is why many chefs don’t like random people who don’t understand our flow in our kitchens.
7- Pick up after yourself or your life will become instantly miserable- if clutter from the last five dishes you prepared stacks up on your station, you’ll get out of your zone, create the WORST stress you’ve ever felt, and hold up the time line of your entire team. This is what people do when they carry in baggage from their past. There’s no room for flow!
Finally…
8- Servers will always blame the kitchen when something goes wrong with the order. Deal with it and don’t take it personally. You’ll learn really fast that the kitchen staff, being hidden from the guests, can easily become the scapegoat. If you let it get under your skin, you’ll fall apart. There’s no room or time for emotions in the kitchen…or in life. Shake it off, make it right, and move on with your life.
If you are fortunate to have an Exec Chef like I had in my last kitchen position, you will know how Spartans truly stand up for eachother.
I prepared 4 Cowboy steaks PERFECTLY cooked- 2 med-rare, 1-medium, and 1-med-well. The server put the wrong steaks in front of the wrong guests and came back to blame me. My Chef stood up to my defense KNOWING I had it right, and told her very sternly (really it was more of a warning to her for battle preparation) to make it right as it was NOT our fault and we would not take the blame for her mistake.
When someone stands up for you without question, it’s a sign when you KNOW you’ve proven your worth in excellence. THAT is how we must approach our commitments and a lesson I learn, and relearn each and every day of my life!
While I could write a book about the lessons I learned in the industry, those I’ve listed here are mainly to showcase the lessons that have made me the coach I am today. I learned to not be a victim, not seek permission to be great, and not depend on help from others to save me if I was not willing to save myself first.
That time in my life showed me how great I could be and instead of judging the stress or physical drain as something that victimized me, I saw it as a rite of passage. THIS is how we must see life if we truly want to create success.
If you’re a coach and/or solopreneur and struggling to get everything done in to create more clients, make more money, and find more time to do what you love, Join me for a LIVE TRAINING on Thursday, June 23rd at 9am Pacific/12pm Eastern on productivity and hacking time. You’ll learn how time REALLY WORKS on a Quantum level, how your subconscious programing is working against you, and what you can do immediately to take your power back!
