Rammstein and #MeToo — 5 bullshit arguments that have nothing to do with anything
“He’s 60 and doesn’t have the stamina to have sex between sets” is not even on the list.
by A
As more and more women came forward to talk about their unsettling experiences backstage at Rammstein concerts, the band issued the following statement on June 3rd:
The publications of the last few days have caused irritation and questions among the public and especially among our fans. The accusations have hit us all very hard and we take them extremely seriously.
To our fans we say: It is important to us that you feel comfortable and safe at our shows — in front of and behind the stage. We condemn any kind of assault and ask you:
Do not participate in public pre-judgments of any kind towards those who have made accusations. They have a right to their point of view. But we, the band, also have a right — not to be prejudged either.
So the women who have made serious allegations against the band and Till Lindemann have “a right to their point of view”, but obviously in the eyes of Rammstein they don’t have a right to express their views — a point substantiated by the fact that the people who spoke up, received cease and desist letters shortly after.
The fact that a “casting director” systematically brought in women over a period of years who were allegedly put at the singer’s sexual disposal is not disputed. It has been well known for years that there was a row zero and a “secret” after-show party for Till and his girls at every concert. With all these already icky facts out in the open the only thing being disputed, is that stuff has been done to women without their consent, under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Brace yourselves for a round of bullshit bingo, because with such a weak case, people (unfortunately mostly men) tend to grasp at straws in a desperate attempt to find something that supports their opinion.
Let’s dissect the top 4 arguments that have nothing to do with anything and which I’ve heard and read repeatedly in the past few weeks:
- I don’t believe the allegations unless they are proven.
- Everybody knows what’s going on backstage.
- There’s a ton of women who throw themselves at musicians.
- Men don’t know how to act around women anymore.
- People blindly believe the accusers stories and refuse to see the other side.
1 Most likely there will never be proof other than the word of multiple women from multiple countries, who had no knowledge of each other before they started to share their strikingly similar stories. The reason being that drugs used for spiking drinks leave the body quickly — during the time when the drug would still be traceable in a blood sample the victim will most likely be asleep. After they wake up and piece together what happened to them and provided that they are brave enough to report and get tested, the drugs will most like have worn off. Rohypnol — the drug that Lindemann paid tribute to in his infamous poem, years before women started speaking up about him — is eliminated from the body within 18–28 hours. GHB (liquid ecstasy) which has surpassed surpassed Rohypnol as the substance most commonly used in drug-facilitated sexual assaults is only detectable in urine for six to twelve hours after ingestion.
2 While many people know what is going on backstage (which is part of the problem by the way) — young girls of 19, 20 years or even underage, who are targeted by the “recruiters” might not know. And here I can only repeat the phrase:
Don’t teach girls how not to get raped, teach boys not to rape.
If we keep focusing on victims and blaming them for being victimized, the assaults will never stop. I was backstage myself multiple times in my early twenties, because I loved music, I loved to hang out with musicians and I loved to party. I wasn’t raped (at least not in that specific environment) — not because I knew what was going on, but because nobody chose to take advantage of me. They easily could have. I was one of the lucky ones. The solution isn’t for women to restrict their freedom of movement, choice of clothes, or choice of friends: women will be safe, when men stop overstepping boundaries.
3 Yes, there are women, who love to have sex with musicians. Yes, there are women, who love to be groupies. Yes, those women can be annoying to the musicians. No, we are not talking about those women. No, it’s not okay to drug and rape women, who don’t want to have sex with you, because there are other women, who do want to have sex with you. Consent is key.
4 While it might be true that some men genuinely don’t know how to act around women anymore, it certainly isn’t the women’s fault for being too “sensitive” all of a sudden. This could be (and most likely will be) a whole different article, but I’ll try to keep it simple: If she seems uninterested, positions her body away from you, avoids eye contact — she’s probably not interested. If she says that she’s not interested — she’s not interested. If she says no, she means no and wants you to leave her alone. Learn to read the room, talk to female friends, and make an effort to be a decent person — it’s really not that hard to avoid being creepy.
5 Here we start to touch on the essence of this piece. Women who speak up about all of the above, who dare to call out unacceptable male behaviors will be accused of one-dimensional thinking or even discrimination against men, because they “refuse to see how these men suffer”. We do see. We do know, that men suffer and struggle under a system that harms everybody. The thing is: this can’t be the justification for violating another person. Also … a graffiti on the wall and some smashed windows of a multi-million dollar corporation do not make for the same level of existential threat than a bounty being placed on a single person through social media posts by extremist fans of the band.
Understanding that these 5 arguments don’t hold more substance than a fart in the wind should be a basic expectation of rational thinking. Nevertheless they’ll be mansplained to you way too often, always with the underlying assumption that the stakes in this game are equally high for men and women.
They are not. In the case of Rammstein there is a very wealthy man, who can afford to silence his accusers with cease and desist letters issued through highly-paid lawyers. The victims are only able to continue speaking their truth because activist initiatives are collecting donations to cover their legal costs.
So if you find yourself stuck in a conversation with nothing more than poorly disguised victim blaming for arguments — consider keeping quiet and listening for a moment, or even asking questions instead:
- How do you (woman who is sitting at the other side of the table) think about all of this?
- Has anything similar happened to you before?
- Do you know anybody who had similar experiences?
- Is there anything that I can do to help stop anything like it from happening again?
The answers may surprise you.
And always remember: Sometimes, the best sound in a conversation isn’t your own voice — it’s the crunching of cookies. If you’ve got some, definitely share those. 🍪
