The problem with motivational speeches
Firing people up actually puts many people down.
Do you know your superpower? Want to find it? Want others to help find theirs? Then avoid these traps.
I just watched this motivational TEDx presentation. It depressed me. What works in sports, for people needing adrenaline to give it all, may have little to do with everyone’s superpower. Let’s explore..
Here’s a guy who achieved a lot and now probably makes most of his income firing up employees of big companies. ‘Get your target boys, score!!’ while also doing a lot of great work for the world. He clearly has his heart in the right place and seeks to make a BIG difference. And he may very well succeed. Then what is my problem?
Part of the problem is actually the riling people up. He delivers the cliché motivational speech. He accepts he is a beginner and may think that’s how to do it. Tony Robinson does it like that, no? And yes sales might be up, the room alive, but is there a long-term effect? What might go wrong? Let me offer some considerations:
Sadly speakers keep selling this “feel great like me”. And then prance the stage like winners. That actually makes many who already feel small, smaller. A certain percentage gets fired up by such talk, many others are deflated by it. Because their power is not this kind of energy. So they think, “Phew, crossing an ocean like that, not me, I can never do that.” That might mostly be, because your big gift is something else.
Almost all our biggest gifts started way way before even our great grandparents were conceived. Our most essential gifts were born in trees. They started in the early collaborative groups of apes becoming human. We can still see this in ape groups today: The ‘depressed outsider’ is the warning system of the group. The ‘older mother’ is the one who helps ends fights. The ‘best smeller’ becomes food scout. The ‘blind one’ makes everyone else more aware of need for care, and his listening may also warn them in time. The lightest can pick the highest fruit and the biggest fights enemies off.
So what do you contribute in essence to any group setting? What is your role?
Firemen who save lives don’t think of superpowers. In interviews, they’re often humble. “It’s my job.” “I just saw I could get her out.” etc. Where was the humility of Chris? How does this help others who are ‘just doing my job’? I rather applaud the medical staff’s doing overtime to save as many lives as they can.
Superpowers often don’t feel super. (I have a few) They are your own normal. Best you discover them, through what others compliment you with. Because it costs no effort for you, you may think, “What is so special about this?” Like there’s no feeling special about nurses worn down after 24 hour shifts. Even your superpowers acquired through lots of exercises may feel more like, “yeah, I practiced the bass for years hiding in my room, mainly because I’m shy. I hoped girls would find me cool doing this. But since I didn’t dare meet them, I mostly kept practicing, because I never thought it good enough yet.”
Worse than not feeling your superpower might be not enjoying it as well. You are sweating, struggling to get something done. Remember those nurses? Others may awe. I wrote a whole post about this before, concluding ‘Your gift is for others to enjoy’ (And to be honest, you may enjoy some results, when yours bring those, like being an applauded artist. But sorry, not all gifts do).
Chris confuses perseverance and discipline with superpowers in general. Those may be powers by themselves, but they’re not everyone's power. (I don’t have those at all, for one) Your power might also not be your passion. That tragedy happens too. (I have passions, I hope you feel some of that between the lines here) Capitalism keeps pushing the bullshit myth of success. I think it’s actually destructive for those that don’t fit that kind of drive! Too often speakers think fire makes the difference. It does for very few. Chris even points to certain people, but none of them went to lectures like this, and then became heroes. Ever thought about that? Study deeper what got them to act. Greta Thunberg’s story or Nelson Mandela’s rise to leadership don’t include great talks by others, firing them up. They’re mostly about taking time to listen within, because of an inner or outer wound. Or being fascinated and have luck. Or they were forced by something external. And then they acted. Motivational speakers use loads of energy to fire people up. And that works for certain sports. But firing up too often silences the listening within. Even some sports need silence and focus. Just think imagine such coaching next to a sharpshooter with a bow. The ‘Learn from me, be like me attitude’ message is not the right example that speaks to all talents.
Many superpowers have nothing to do with struggles, discipline, or being strong. These are some of the most beautiful essential ‘superpowers’ I’ve seen in others: ‘being able to listen to those that don’t speak up’, ‘cleaning up the mess everyone else doesn’t even see.’ ‘serving this doctor so he actually has his mind free to focus on his work’, ‘making shitloads of money (often at the cost of the planet)’ because sadly yes, that is a superpower too, albeit a potentially evil one. Better are ‘always looking on the bright side’, ‘playing with possibilities where others just see ‘this is how it’s done’, etc.
One of the most intriguing talents I heard about was explained to me by a female manager. She explained she had this guy in her department of which nobody knew exactly what he was doing. Yet, whenever he was added to a team, that team performed so much better. Thus to her, he was essential. And I bet, this guy wouldn’t know how to put that in his resumé.
We shine in combination where our essence is accepted and plays a role. And that essence may very well have nothing to do with exceptionalism, proving yourself, overcoming giant obstacles. It’s for way more about people, becoming and accepting themselves in who they truly are.
I think the following is one of the best ‘motivational’ speeches ever. And it doesn’t fire people up. It confronts them with a big essential question.
