#ConfidenceIsBeautiful- 7 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence

The Girls’ Lounge
The Girls’ Lounge
5 min readAug 17, 2016

Confidence- belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:

Some people just walk into a room and it literally lights up. You know who we mean. That girl who turns heads and people want to talk to, not necessarily because she is the prettiest or the smartest in the room, but because she is the one who sparkles like its nobody’s business.

This self-assurance is essential to survival. But, let’s not be mistaken: there’s confidence, and there’s cockiness, and most of us can tell the difference. “Confidence is beautiful,” as we say at The Girls’ Lounge. The real kind, the attractive kind. But, what does it all mean and where can we get some if we have a shortage? Having confidence leads to more competence. When you believe in your abilities you will accomplish so much more. Other people will believe in you more, and give you more of what it is you truly desire. Behold, our 7 useful tips we’ve found to channel our inner goddess:

1.Stop Comparing! Please, please stop comparing. Stop right now. This means that you are not HER, she is not YOU, and that’s a great thing. Own it. Be unapologetically YOU! We aren’t all done figuring out who we are — that’s a lifetime journey. We do know a lot about ourselves by now, so we need to just be ourselves and stop worrying about what others think. Every single outfit, every single post, every comment and idea you utter…stop judging yourself and worrying. This behavior is the ultimate confidence killer.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Find Your People. Everything in life takes a village. Why? Because, “We are better together!” That’s another Girls’ Lounge motto, and it couldn’t be more accurate. Sure, you can go it alone, but that’s boring, depressing and not effective. We need our girlfriends, family, our people, to lift us up and remind us of how great we are! Get social (no, not on Instagram). Though you may find some wonderful, uplifting quotes on social media, you need to meet up with people in real life. Talk things out with friends and family. They’re genuinely happy to help you regain confidence. If some friends are the reason you lack confidence, expand your social circle. It’s crucial to your success to surround yourself with friends who truly want your success as well. When we share our insecurities and fears with our true besties, they lessen. Confide in them because they’re your best cheerleaders.

3. Stand Tall and Smile. Stand up tall, put your shoulders back and beam that gorgeous smile! It’s amazing how much your posture and your facial expressions can affect your power. Stand tall and you’ll feel bigger, stronger, more self-assured. How you present yourself suggests whether (or not) you are capable. If you look positive, poised, and act the part, you’ll not only feel in control, other people will have much more confidence in you as well. Pull those shoulders back, look everyone in the eye, give a warm, friendly greeting. And remember, a smile is the most beautiful curve on a woman’s body!

4. Face Your Fears (and Failures). Step back, and take accounting of what’s working and what’s not. Learning from your failures builds self-confidence. When we take a step back (and don’t get our backs up), we can find perspective in your mistakes. We all make mistakes. Look at them as learning opportunities so you don’t get stuck. When we fail, we often want to take ourselves out of the game, crawl under a rock, and avoid risk. That’s the worst thing we can do! Face your fear, get back in the game.

Write a list of all your badass qualities. Read it again and again. Smiling yet? Celebrate your strengths daily, while seeking ways to improve where you may fall short. Graciously accept compliments and compliment yourself. Remember that criticism is one person’s view of things. Your best bet is not to reply in a defensive way or allow it to lower your self-worth. Listen, understand, and use it to learn and grow.

5. Shake It Off. Have a dance party! This is a really fun way to recharge and get the serotonin flowing. This will lighten the mood and make you feel young and carefree. Give yourself a break from the hectic day and just press play. Life is stressful if we don’t lighten things up a little. We must give ourselves room to be silly, childlike and let loose! We must treat ourselves for big and small wins…as well as shake off any letdowns. Get into that zone by putting on your favorite music to jam out to. Turn it up and watch your stress levels go down. We also recommend a Zumba class, because they pick the best songs, you’ll learn great moves, and well, “we’re better together.”

But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop grooving. It’s like I got this music in my body saying it’s gonna be alright.” Taylor Swift

6. Find Your Style. We all want to look our best so that we can feel great about ourselves. Some of us are naturals at dressing for work, a night out, business travel etc. It really helps if you love your clothing, accessories and overall style. That’s not to say you need this for confidence, but when you’re put together nicely, you tend to shine brighter. Choosing clothing and accessories that fit well, suit your industry and lifestyle, and make you feel beautiful, can certainly enhance your self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through. When we feel our best, we often perform at our best.

7. C’mon Get Happy. What if you could become the happiest person you know? Wouldn’t that be ah-mazing?! You can actively make a conscious decision to change how you process your world. Every time you doubt yourself, counter those thoughts! Remember most of your problems are in your head. That’s not to say they don’t exist, rather that you’re allowing them to take over your life. Positive energy leads to positive outcomes, so set your mind to the “can-do” mentality, avoiding the negative self-talk that can make you feel less confident. Smile, laugh and surround yourself with joyful, upbeat people. You’ll feel better and the people you work with will enjoy your company. Also craft a killer mantra : something that highlights your best qualities and reminds you that you’ve got this! You do…you’ve got this!

Here’s to your badass, gorgeous, goddess, successful, super confident self! #ConfidenceIsBeautiful

Written with ❤ by the girls at The Girls Lounge.

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The Girls’ Lounge
The Girls’ Lounge

A place for women to connect, discover their confidence and activate change. If we could have done it alone, we would have by now. TheGirlsLounge.com